


War and peace

by J_Antebellum



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: AU, F/F, US Air Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 55,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Antebellum/pseuds/J_Antebellum
Summary: Ashlyn Harris was having a good life as a captain in the US Air Force, and then she met Ali Krieger, a volunteer in the refugee camp where Captain Harris is stationed, and her whole life changed forever.
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger
Comments: 75
Kudos: 136





	1. The war

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Hoping you're all taking good care of yourselves with this Covid madness. I've ran out of the UK, where I've been living for a few months now, and returned to my hometown to support my family through these difficult times. Now I'm in lockdown ;)
> 
> Even though you probably hate me if you've been following my other fics and seen I've barely updated in the past year, I'm happy to finally announce I wrote ten fanfics, all Krashlyn, in the past year. One of them even has a part 2, so it's actually eleven fanfics. So anyway, now that we have these hard times I think all of us in lockdown locked in our flats for minimum a month will appreciate having stuff to read and get entertained, even if it's just fics, so I think it's the best moment to bring all the stories at once. Enjoy!
> 
> Also if you want to talk with me, ask when the next chapter pops or whatever, I'm jantebellum in Tumblr, so feel free to message me or send some anon over there!
> 
> Much love xx

**Chapter 1: The war.**

To Ashlyn, it wasn't about patriotism. Firstly, it was a 'family thing'. Her grandfather Jimbo had been a high rank in the US Air Force, and then her Uncle Jimbo Jr., had followed. So when money was tight and drugs were easier to find in her neighbourhood than water, the idea of the Air Force had floated in Ashlyn's young mind of an eighteen year old who could not afford university and the education she craved, who was desperate to get out of the hollowness her family lived in, and who only wanted to live. Her family had always made the Air Force sound like fun. Her grandfather had told her how he had felt like a bird up there, and her uncle had spoken about the beautiful rescue missions he had sometimes had, and told her nowadays, with the very little wars the United States lived, it was mostly about helping civilians. And Ashlyn liked to help people. She wasn't some blood-thirsty brute. She had a big, kind heart, full of compassion, empathy, and the biggest desire to help people get out of their own hells, while she did the same.

That led her to the fierce September rains of 2013 in Philippines. Marking a decade in the Air Force, now Ashlyn's heart was much tougher, her skin less tender, her eyes more accustomed to horror than to a children's laughter. And still, even after all those years in which she had realized how truly horrific and cruel war was, learned to hate the politicians that created those wars from their spotless offices while enjoying great meals, and developed a completely different sense of patriotism, she remained there for reasons that on the worst days seemed to not be enough. Now, the sun, that had just appeared after intense rainfalls, hit her tanned skin, her tattooed arms and her hazel eyes, as she looked up from the Air Force base she was currently stationed in, checking the weather for flying that day. She was to check the perimeter every few hours, taking turns with other officials, making sure they weren't under any current threat, and keep moving if necessary.

“Looks good today,” her friend Tobin Heath, fellow pilot, stood next to her looking up with eyes narrowed to protect them from the sun. “Hot, tropical day now.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn agreed with a nod. “Perhaps it'll be a good day to check what the bastards did with last night's bombings of the city.”

In their fight against terrorism and Jihad, more particularly, the US had sent several troops to places such as the Philippines, as a part of the Operation Enduring Freedom. Ashlyn was a part of the US Air Force's Special Operations Command, and her Command, along with some other military Commands, had formed an, improvised base camp in the outskirts of the jungle in one of the Southern Islands. They had to secure the area day and night, often with planes, as it was easier to see everything from the air in the jungle than from the ground, and in the base camp they were receiving military servicemen and servicewomen who were injured, or civilian families who were injured as they fought terrorism. Their job was to host them, protect them, heal them, and as fast as it was possible, either ship them or fly them to safer areas, or to their homes, if possible. They were supporting the Filipino's military forces, their government and their people in the fight against terrorism, so they were pretty much aiding there. Now and then, Ashlyn's Command received orders to fly and attack in another island nearby, supporting in missions, but lately, with the bad weather they had had, it was more a job of taking care of the base camp more than anything else.

Ashlyn looked around at the base camp, hearing the laughter from children, an uncommon sound there that always got her attention. She saw a short, fit woman with the most incredible smile giggling at some little children that crowded around her, gathering at her command. She had her hair up in a high, dark bun, and her beautiful brown tiger eyes trailed from one Filipino child to another as she held a ball up in the air, wearing a Red Cross t-shirt that hung loosely showing muscled arms. Not far from her stood another brunette with very tanned skin, so much she almost looked Filipino too, a woman Ashlyn recognized as Christen Press, Tobin's long-time girlfriend, who belonged to Red Cross.

“Who's that?” Ashlyn asked, elbowing Tobin lightly and pointing at the unknown woman with her head. “The one near Christen.”

“Oh, that's Ali Krieger, she just got here last week. Apparently she's a veteran volunteer in combat zones, she's been travelling around with the Red Cross for years. Christen says she was a footballer before, until she had a bad ACL five years ago and decided to pursue other lands. But according to Christen and the internet, she was very good,” said Tobin, looking at the brunette as well, “Olympian and World Cup Champion. Defender, I think. Came to the Red Cross when she retired, Christen has known her for years since then.”

The older woman nodded slowly, her hazel eyes fixed on Ali Krieger, who was speaking in German to the children.

“What's she doing speaking German? Those kids won't understand.”

“Oh, she does it to make them laugh, teaches them some words to entertain them.”

“What about English?”

“Well German's funnier, and her job is to keep the kids happy, healthy and entertained until we can take them back to their homes or wherever, reunite them with their families. Besides, he's German-American. I heard her grandfather was forced to fight for the Nazis in the Second World War and died, while her grandmother took the kids and sought refugee in the US. She lived in Frankfurt for a while too, played football there... she's fluent, you just have to hear her. And she has a knack with kids.”

Ashlyn frowned and nodded slowly.

“Great. Trust the granddaughter of a Nazi to take care of children.”

“ _Forced_ Nazi.”

“That's what she says.”

“Ugh, Ash,” Tobin rolled eyes. “I get your grandfather did World War II and hated Nazis, but many of them were forced, you know? Fight or we'll kill your children and rape your wives before killing them too. Fight or we'll torture everyone you love. Fight or we'll make you beg for death. You should know by now wars aren't so easy as to claim one's a good guy and one's a bad guy... there are more soldiers forced to be here than not. You, yourself, you only came seeking studies, money, a better life for yourself and your family out of the drugs, didn't you? Ali knows what it is like to be a refugee, I'm sure her family would tell them... she knows what it is to carry a German surname in the US after the war and be called Nazi and all sorts of crap while being innocent. Don't judge her too fast, she's a very nice woman coming here to help just like others helped her family once. Give back.”

A loud sigh escaped Ashlyn's lips and she crossed her muscled arms over her chest. She hated when Tobin was right on her speeches, but she wasn't willing to admit it, pride withstanding. Taking a last look at the sunny sky and then at the brunette speaking German with the kids and making them repeat a word as a ball was thrown from one to another, she decided it was time to move.

“I've got a patrol to do. If the weather's good for us, it's good for them too.”

She was up in the sky less than half an hour later, flying an aircraft as she surveyed the area, eyes alternating from the sky to the trees and the jungle checking for any enemies that may be approaching their camp on the land. She was flying relatively low for this, and about a couple hours into the air, her eyes recognized Ali Krieger walking by a stream not far from their camp. She had sat down on a big rock and was filling a big bucket with water, which wasn't odd, since their camp was, after all, a humble camp where water was a luxurious resource so, in order to wash, water from the stream was used. It was a fairly clean stream, thankfully.

Ashlyn was ready to head somewhere else when she spotted soldiers near the stream, hiding between the trees of the shore in front of Ali. She could see they were terrorists actually, and her heart suddenly jumped in her chest. She couldn't warn Ali, but she managed to grab a gun with one arm, piloting with her free hand as she flew over the stream very slowly, trying to be quiet. She opened the window and pointed the automatic gun towards the terrorists before shooting. Ali immediately jumped to her feet and ran off, trying to hide, while the terrorists spotted the aircraft and started shooting towards her.

Despite the numerous trees and hiding spots, the jungle was very dangerous to be alone, and Ashlyn knew she had to grab Ali. She knew she had to rescue her right then or she'll die in a matter of minutes. She quickly flew lower to the trees and saw Ali a couple metres below, hiding behind some big rocks and bushes, as she had reached a clear in the jungle. The clear also provided a good opportunity for Ashlyn to descend.

“Ali!” Ashlyn shouted through the window over the sound of bullets aimed at the aircraft, who was narrowly avoiding them. “Ali! Here!” she yanked her door open and threw a hand out towards Ali, who saw her and the American flag on her sleeve, and ran towards her.

“You're too high!” Ali shouted, unable to reach her. At the same time, the aircraft was blowing such amounts of air her hair was going wild and it was hard for her to reach her.

“Jump, I'll catch you!” Ashlyn looked up and saw the terrorists crossing the stream. They had probably decided to try and kidnap her small aircraft. “JUMP!”

Ali panicked and threw the bucket away, jumping as hard as she could and throwing a hand out that Ashlyn, grabbing the controls with one hand and pulling half of her body out of the aircraft, took with a free hand of her own, grunting as she pulled her up into the aircraft. Ali used her feet on the legs of the aircraft to gather impulse upwards and climb into the aircraft over Ashlyn's lap as the pilot pulled the aircraft up.

The aircraft's door shut close and Ashlyn straightened the machine, flying higher, where the bullets couldn't hit them, while Ali slid from Ashlyn's lap to the seat next to her, careful with not kicking the controls.

“Thank you,” Ali said, breathless, as she sat down and put on the belt and protective headphones as Ashlyn indicated with one hand, her eyes back to the sky and the different small machines in front of her to control the aircraft. “Who are you, by the way?”

“Captain Ashlyn Harris, US Air Force's Special Operations Command,” Ashlyn replied. “What were you doing down there all alone? You were completely exposed to danger. If I hadn't been coincidentally flying the area low enough to see you, you'd be dead.” She added, using a bit of a chastising tone. Ali frowned and slumped her shoulders.

“I was just getting water for the base camp. I'm volunteering for the Red Cross at the one just west from here, and they needed some water.”

“Next time, ask a soldier to go with you, will you? I don't want a single good person dead, and the jungle is a very dangerous place” Ashlyn used a kinder tone this time. “Come on, I'll take you somewhere where we can get the water you need. I believe I've got some containers in my bag...”

Relieved, Ali smiled small.

“Thank you, ma'am.”

“Ma'am? Call me Ashlyn, or Ash,” Ashlyn chuckled, shaking her head. “Ma'am, she says... I'm only twenty-seven!”

Ali snorted a laugh.

“I'm Ali. Although... you already knew, right?”

“Oh, right, yes. You're friends with my friend, I believe. Tobin Heath? Or perhaps you only know her girlfriend Christen Press? She's at the Red Cross with you.”

“You're Tobin's friend?” Ashlyn nodded, controlling the aircraft. “I've been Christen's friend for years. Met Tobin through her... now that you mention it, I think I have seen you around camp with Tobin before. Have you been friends with her for long too?”

“Several years, yeah. We've been lucky to fall in the Philippines together, been here for months... saw you this morning teaching those kids. Tobin says your Grandpa fought with the Nazis. My Grandpa fought _against_ the Nazis.”

“Oh,” Ali's face fell and she looked down through her window, as if she was suddenly mortified. “I understand. Don't feel in the obligation to help me, then, I'm sure I can find water on my own somewhere safer...”

Ashlyn frowned and suddenly understood what Tobin meant. Ali had been subjected to the deprecation of ignorants her whole life just because her surname was German. How many times had she been bullied or blamed for things she hadn't even participated on? How often had she had to stand insults towards her grandfather because of the Nazis? Maybe she had even had people tell her that he deserved to die.

Internally chastising herself, Ashlyn shook her head briefly.

“Nonsense, of course I'm helping you. Well, you and the Red Cross, I suppose. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable... I didn't mean to accuse your grandfather of anything, Tobin told me he wasn't there on his own free will... and hell, even if he had been, there's no reason you should pay for that, uh? You probably never even met him, right?”

Ali shook her head.

“I've never known any of my grandparents,” the brunette confessed. “I'm just a year older than you. By the time I was born, all of them were dead. The Krieger one never made it from the war, Dad says that he was captured by the Americans and shot to death somewhere, his body was never found,” she added in a low voice. “But we're used to judgement. You wouldn't be the first one. All of us were bullied in school just because we were Kriegers.”

The pilot sighed and nodded slowly.

“That sucks,” she thought of how she had been able to establish good relationships with all of her grandparents, something Ali had been robbed from. “May I ask what happened to your other grandparents?”

“Why?”

Ashlyn shrugged.

“I'm a very curious person and I like to know the people I rescue?”

“Okay then,” Ali side smiled a little bit. “I don't have much of a choice if an Air Force is asking...” she added jokingly. “My Krieger grandmother moved to Virginia in the final years of the war, with children that were only babies or toddlers. Three, my Dad being the youngest. She tried her best to adapt to America, but when my Dad was a teenager, some far-right Americans attacked her in the street because she was a 'disgusting Nazi' or something like that. She died from the injuries.”

“Fuck,” Ashlyn scowled deeply. “I'm sorry.”

“Dad went on to marry my mother, whose father was Italian married to an American, so the family didn't care about my Dad coming from immigrants as well.”

“Let me guess, he worked for Mussolini?” Ashlyn said jokingly with a wink. Ali snorted a laugh.

“No, he was too young to fight at the World War II, and he had been living in America since he was a teenager himself, anyways, so he wasn't coming back for a war. My maternal grandfather simply worked as a teacher and lived a good life in Miami, and died when my big brother was a baby. He had cancer. Then my grandmother died from sadness shortly after.”

“Aww, sucks,” Ashlyn looked sadly at her before lowering the aircraft towards the sea. “You must've grown with their stories instead of the real thing.”

“Yeah,” Ali shrugged. “What about you with the hero grandfather then?” she added mockingly, with an amused expression.

Ashlyn side smiled and nodded, finding a clear area by the seashore where to station the aircraft. She'd tell her then.

  
  



	2. Friendship

**Chapter 2: Friendship.**

As the two women used different containers to bring water from another stream near the sea (because Ali said it couldn't be salty water) to the aircraft right next, Ashlyn answered Ali's question under the beaming sun.

“Grandpa was a Colonel at the Air Force when he retired and went to live in, actually, Florida as well. We're all from Florida,” she was saying. “He doesn't like to talk about the war, but he did say it was horrible and the most gratification came from knowing he was helping people who truly needed it. He died a couple years ago, cancer as well. His wife died when I was a kid. And in my Dad's side, both of my grandparents are alive and in good health, back in Florida as well. They're my favourite people in the world.”

“Are you close?” Ali asked, sighing in relief as they got back into the aircraft, putting the water aside and enjoying the ceiling over their heads protecting them from the hard sun.

“Very, particularly with my grandma. I'd kill for her without blinking,” Ashlyn said, starting the aircraft.

“Flinching. Without flinching,” Ali corrected her with a chuckle. Ashlyn rolled eyes.

“Whatever you say, granddaughter of teachers...”

“And daughter,” added Ali. “Mum's a P.E. Teacher.”

“Oh, damn she's a know-it-all!”

They laughed and fell into a comfortable silence as Ashlyn returned them to camp. Then, she helped her carry the water to the Red Cross, and they bid farewell with smiles before Ashlyn returned to the military people.

“What a beautiful day, isn't it?” Ashlyn said happily as she sat to eat an apple next to Tobin, Christen, and Major Abby Wambach, who was a friend aside from their superior. They all sat on wooden benches on a corner of the camp, enjoying some snacks.

“Someone's in a good mood,” Abby commented, glancing at Ashlyn through light blue eyes as she buried her hand in her short dyed blonde hair to brush it backwards.

“We saw you with Ali,” Christen said with an amused expression, eating a sandwich.

“No longer hating her German origins?” Tobin added, elbowing Ashlyn playfully while eating a sandwich as well.

“Hey, I never _hated_ anything about her. Ali's a great lady. I just enjoyed her company very much,” said Ashlyn nonchalantly. “There were some terrorists by the stream just a few miles from here, and I rescued her and helped her with the Red Cross work. That's all.”

“Terrorists?” Abby frowned. “By the stream? We're going to have to move.”

“I already informed the next patrol and they're going to keep an eye and eliminate the threat, so don't worry,” said Ashlyn. “I trust I shot some of them properly.”

“I'll inform the Colonel. We need to keep the eyes open,” Abby stood up. “Good job, Harris.” She marched away, and Ashlyn gave her apple a good bite.

“So what did you think of Ali?” Christen inquired looking innocently at her with deep brown eyes, her long braided brown hair falling over one shoulder.

“She's cool.”

“And pretty,” Christen added. “Don't you think?”

Ashlyn narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she saw both Christen and Tobin were looking at her very intently.

“Oh, no, no, you are not setting me up!”

“Why not? She's beautiful, funny, intelligent and single,” said Tobin. “Why pass on a good opportunity?”

“Come on, she's not even gay.”

“She's bisexual,” informed Christen. “Come on, Ash! We could all go on dates together when we're home! Her Mum lives in Miami, she's always around Florida—,”

“I said no,” Ashlyn said firmly. “I don't like being set up. If we're meant to be, we will be, but relationships shouldn't be pushed. Let us be, both of you.”

Ashlyn finished her apple and stood up, walking away to the canteen tent for a bottle of water. There, as she drank her water, she saw Ali putting a band-aid on a kid's knee and kissing over it for good measure. She smiled at the child with a warmth that filled Ashlyn's heart and made her feel all kinds of emotions in one second. Maybe, just maybe, pursuing the brunette's attentions wasn't such a bad idea just for once.

During the days that followed, Ashlyn made a point of being near Ali as much as she could, between her own tasks. She would use every opportunity available to help the older woman, or talk with her, or share a laugh, and always had the impression that Ali enjoyed her company about as much as she herself did. Sometimes, Ashlyn even thought she detected a slight level of filtration, and a couple times caught Ali's brown eyes lingering on her tattooed, muscled biceps whenever she was wearing short sleeves.

A couple weeks later, and knowing there were no rules against Air Force crew dating Red Cross volunteers, Ashlyn decided to take a step forward. Her time in Philippines was days from coming to an end, and she had just bid farewell to Tobin and Christen, who were going back home, with Tobin retiring from the Air Force after this her last mission in order to marry her girlfriend in a matter of months. Now, she felt the need to give a step forward in life, and Ali seemed like the best candidate. Besides, she couldn't deny she was strongly attracted by the brunette's beauty and the sound of her laughter, so she had to do something about it. She wasn't one to ignore her feelings.

“Hey Ali,” Ashlyn came around as Ali piled some boxes of food for the children. Sweat fell from Ali's temple, but she smiled warmly looking at Ashlyn nevertheless.

“Ash! How's it going?”

“Very well,” wordlessly, Ashlyn grabbed some boxes and helped Ali. “I was wondering if, when you're done here, you'd like to come to the beach with me. We could have a lunch picnic by the shore.”

“Oh,” Ali seemed happy to hear, for her smile grew larger. “Sounds like a great idea. I just have to finish with these boxes so the kids' lunch gets done as well.”

“Awesome, then I'll help you and we'll be done sooner.”

Ali looked happily at her and nodded, passing her some more boxes from a few bags on the ground. Once the boxes were piled up, they had to write on each what the type of food inside was, and then other Red Cross volunteers would bring them to the kitchen for lunch time. So Ashlyn walked with Ali towards her own tent and pulled a backpack with food and water from under her bed, grabbing a blanket as well.

“You had it all prepared!” Ali commented with admiration as she saw.

“Of course, Princess,” Ashlyn smiled, and Ali blushed a little. Ashlyn had observed she often blushed when Ashlyn used the nickname, given because of Ali's princessy attitude sometimes, liking to have her mascara on at all times even in freaking Philippines's base camps, and to paint her nails at times.

“Y'know,” Ali said as they marched out of camp towards the beach nearby. For safety, Ashlyn had a submachine gun with her, and they were observing their surroundings, “my surname means warrior in German.”

“That's so cool,” Ashlyn said with a broad smile. “Warrior Princess. Damn, like Xena!”

Ali laughed and shook her head, feeling her day was just about to get better.

They sat down by the shore on the blanket Ashlyn had brought over, and pulled out some food and water. It was humble, given the circumstances, but neither of them minded in the slightest. And besides, they were too busy enjoying the company.

“How did you achieve the rank of captain being so young?” Ali asked her with a curious look as she ate. The sun made her eyes shine beautifully, and the sea breeze kept her dark hair in slight movement, drawing Ashlyn's attention even more.

“I've been in the Air Force for a decade,” said Ashlyn. “Next week, it'll be a decade. For my birthday.” She added with a wink.

“It's your birthday next week?” Ali inquired with surprise, and Ashlyn nodded, munching.

“Twenty-eight. Hopefully we can get some rain to celebrate, don't you think?” Ali smiled.

“Maybe. What a shame, though. Next week I'll be going back home, end of my volunteering term this year. Sunny Miami beaches are waiting for me, although I will miss these kids. Thankfully, most of them are supposed to get in a ship to Europe today.”

“That's good for them, get out of this place... and good for you as well. And you know what's even better? Coincidentally, I'm getting back to Florida next week too. Satellite Beach, in my case. You'll have to come up to see me!”

“Damn, I'm never getting rid of you!” Ali joked with a chuckle, and Ashlyn laughed. “I'll be happy to visit. Will you visit me in Miami as well?”

“Of course! I never say no to warm Miami beaches,” Ashlyn replied. “So, not going to Virginia?”

She knew Ali was always between states. Born in Dumfries, that was home to her, but only her paternal family lived there, or at least a small part of them. The other, as well as her maternal family, were in Florida. With divorced parents, both remarried but only her father having children in his new marriage -children his wife already had- Ali spent most of her time in Miami, where the house wasn't so crowded and where she could see her brother, who also lived in Miami, all the time.

“Not for now,” said Ali. “Christmas maybe. Dad's on vacation in Los Angeles with his wife and her sons, but he promised to fly over to Florida when they're back in the country, to see us and spend Thanksgiving with us. Good thing my parents get along well.”

That was one difference with Ashlyn's parents, also divorced, but who could hardly stand being in the same room.

“So...” Ashlyn looked up after a few minutes of eating and making light conversation, mesmerized for a moment by how beautiful Ali looked staring at the Sulu Sea. “Anyone special waiting for you in America?”

“Special?” Ali frowned lightly, confused.

“Yeah, you know... a boyfriend, maybe?” Ashlyn had to remind herself that Ali didn't know she knew she was bisexual. They had, after all, never discussed sexuality or romance, and Ashlyn had to make sure that Christen and Tobin's assumptions that the brunette was single were correct.

However, Ali snorted a laugh and shook her head.

“No,” she replied. “No one special. I don't have much time for romance, with all the volunteering I do during the year, and then trips and stuff.”

“I see,” Ashlyn smiled softly, pretending a dragon hadn't risen victorious in her chest, “so what do you do for a living? I don't imagine soccer made you so rich you never have to work again?” Ali laughed, shaking her head again.

“Of course not, but my job is not too far off. I'm a P.E., teacher, just like my mother, but in Orlando, where I last played. I teach kids from eight to twelve years old.”

“So that's why you're so good with kids!”

“I do like them,” Ali smiled warmly at her. “And besides, I'm a football coach. I created a company, the Ali Krieger Football Camps, and I have a weekend camp once a month, although I usually rest them during August or July to do some volunteering abroad, like this. Also in December, for the festivities. What about you? What do you do when you're not in war?” she added, looking curious at her.

Ashlyn's internal dragon was just celebrating Ali happened to be established in Orlando, so close to Satellite Beach.

“Nothing half as interesting as you,” Ashlyn said, truly thinking her jobs, which they were so obvious Ali loved, were pretty cool jobs to have, with quite the nice holidays. “But usually, I'm home, in Satellite, surfing, hitting the skateboard park, playing some football as well... I was a terrific goalkeeper as a teenager, played for the National Team briefly in my teens. We won a World Cup when I captained.”

“Oh really?” Ali's jaw dropped. “I didn't think you were _that_ Ashlyn Harris!”

“Yours truly,” Ashlyn chuckled. “I don't work much at home, because the Air Force keeps me on such long missions away from home, that then they owe me like these breaks when you do nothing... sometimes I offer to do some office job at the base of my command, the Special Operations one in Hulburt Field, Florida, but I don't really have to do much. And now and then there are Air Force events and other military events and parades I'm supposed to attend, so I may travel around. But nothing I enjoy more than the beach, my nephew and niece, and family barbecues.”

Ali looked warmly at her, nodding slowly.

“You really do love your family and Florida, don't you?”

“More than anything else,” Ashlyn nodded. “I miss them terribly, my grandmother and my nephew and niece the most. They're my godchildren as well and I love them like you wouldn't believe. I always try to get them a present sent on special occasions, even from here. My little Raya was born earlier this year when I was on a mission in Iraq and I sent her a bunch of cute little dresses, and Jenson turned two just the other day and he received my package of goodies just in time. But I really wish I could be there. I like playing with them, not like other adults... I actually enjoy time with kids.”

“Why do you still work here then?” Ali inquired carefully. “I mean... I bet you could work as something else, doesn't the Air Force give access to superior studies? And you must've saved quite the amount of money, not having more expenses than your own and being on missions most of the year, paid by the country. But instead of being there with them, you stay here, missing the hell out of them. How's that worth it?”

“I've thought of quitting a million times, Ali,” Ashlyn confessed, finishing her lunch. “But every time I see those defenceless families and... it breaks my heart. So I stay, and I tell little Jenson his Aunty is going again to help kids who weren't as lucky as him. He understands. He knows my job is important. Besides, I somehow seem to need being away. Satellite is... like your perfect holiday spot. Is that place you miss and need to see frequently but that, if you were there all the time, it'd drive you mad. I think it wouldn't be as good for my health as I may want if I was there more often, as much as it does pain me.”

Ali frowned deeply, looking right at her as if she could see through her.

“How so?”

Ashlyn smiled small and were to open her mouth, when some of her colleagues shouted at her to come from a few metres away. Cursing internally, Ashlyn looked apologetically at Ali, who smiled at her and nodded, encouraging her to go.

  
  



	3. I want something more

**Chapter 3: I want something more.**

Even though she knew she had lost the opportunity to confess her feelings to Ali, Ashlyn wasn't disappointed. She knew the deep conversation they had had would only help her on her goal to woo Ali a little further, and she had gotten some much needed quality time with her. She felt it inside, the way her body seemed to crave her company now and then, as if she was her oxygen, to which she needed to come sometimes just to feel alive and complete. It was odd for someone as independent as Ashlyn had always been, but she was starting to feel somewhat dependent on Ali... and the oddest part of it was that it didn't freak her out.

Over the next few days, Ashlyn kept trying her best to bring the relationship with Ali closer. They had started to push boundaries, flirting harder every time, testing the limits, and she was becoming more and more certain that Ali felt something for her too. Their chemistry was undeniable, and Ashlyn was sure that Ali had to be feeling it as well. Not for nothing all her colleagues teased Ashlyn about the Red Cross volunteer all the time.

One morning on one of the last few days Ashlyn and Ali were to spend in Philippines, Ashlyn was flying back to the base camp she was stationed in, after having followed a ship full of Filipino refugees from their camp to another of their islands to ensure they were safe. She was piloting a fighter to patrol and do reconnaissance tasks and now she wasn't too far from her destination. The aircraft was very fast and she was almost at the beautiful beach, already thinking of the lunch Ali was waiting for her to share with, when suddenly, her aircraft detected another aircraft flying fast towards her.

“What the...?” Ashlyn frowned and spun around, trying to detect the other aircraft. There, she saw one of the fighters the Jihad terrorists often used. “Harris to base, I've got fucking terrorists following me around!” she shouted into the radio, as she flew to try and avoid the other fighter, who seemed to be trying to crash with her.

“Harris, received!” an officer informed via radio. “Are you sure it's a terrorist?”

“Jihad one, yes! They're trying to crash with me, I request permission to attack!”

“Granted, and Harris, make sure they don't detect the camp, you're too close! We've got a patrol flying around camp, let us know if you need aerial support.”

“Gotcha!” Ashlyn turned around ready to shoot down the aircraft with her own fighter's weapons when suddenly, the other aircraft accelerated and before she could do anything, they had crashed together mid-air.

**. . .**

It all seemed to be dark for a long time or maybe just a second, but when Ashlyn opened her eyes, the eyelids felt heavy and her entire body seemed to be glued to wherever she was lying on. She felt her terrible weakness at once, staring at a white, unknown ceiling, her vision clearing slowly.

“Ugh...” she groaned, trying to wake herself up fully. She felt so heavy and sleepy, like gravity was having a very strong day, and her throat was dry and hoarse, while her limbs seemed too heavy to be moved. She stretched her toes, but could hardly feel them, and then her hands, clenching them and unclenching them as she blinked herself awake, and in the process, she felt something soft against her right hand.

She looked down to see blankets covering her body, and at the end of her right hand, two tanned hands were visible, holding hers. She looked up and glanced straight into the warm brown eyes of Ali Krieger, who smiled small at her, reaching a hand up to caress her cheek gently.

“Hey,” Ali saluted her, “how are you feeling, Birdie?” the nickname had come one time Ali had confessed to her that whenever Ashlyn was up in the sky she felt safer knowing the strongest bird of all was up there watching over them like a real God. Ali's voice came full of tenderness and affection, and Ashlyn knew right away that whatever had happened hadn't been good. She could only remember she was supposed to go on a surveillance mission to make sure a refugee ship got to another Filipino island safe.

“Like the worst hungover of my life,” Ashlyn admitted, coughing to try and rid herself from her raspy voice. Ali abandoned her hand for a moment to reach a bedside table Ashlyn hadn't realized she had, and there, there were a glass bottle of water and a couple glasses, one of which, half-full, seemed to be Ali's, because she took the empty one and filled it, helping Ashlyn, who was lying flat horizontally on the bed, raise her head just a few centimetres to drink. “Thank you,” she said grateful as her head descended back on the pillow, the room spinning around her for a moment and forcing her to close her eyes briefly, “shit... what happened? Where are we?”

“On a Navy ship to Japan, where you will receive top class medical attention thanks to some favours the Major asked. We didn't have enough at camp to attend your injuries properly and, since my time at base camp was almost over anyway and Major Wambach said someone had to accompany you, I offered,” Ali explained, her hands returning to Ashlyn's and her brown eyes seeking Ashlyn's hazel ones. “You really don't remember anything, do you?”

The captain, who had only just noticed an IV attached to her left arm, with some liquid dripping into her bloodstream, shook her head, utterly lost. They seemed to be in the ship's infirmary.

“I was supposed to be doing surveillance on a ship...”

“And you did well,” Ali affirmed with a nod. “But on your way back to camp, a Jihad terrorist flew their aircraft straight at you. Maybe they were short on munition, maybe it was a suicide mission... Major Wambach was furious, commanding people to figure out the hell had happened. Thankfully, they heard the commotion over the radio and sent support your way, they reached you in seconds and were able to rescue you from the sea. Your aircraft had pretty much exploded in tiny pieces, they didn't think you were alive... but apparently Major Wambach was adamant whatever was left of you was brought back.” Ali blinked heavily and gulped, looking down at their hands and squeezing hers a little.

“Abby's a good old friend, and a terrific boss,” Ashlyn nodded, grateful. “I'll have to phone her. And thank you for coming. Abby knows I hate to wake up somewhere unknown with no familiar faces around and injured.”

Ali nodded.

“You're not in pain, are you? The doctor told me you wouldn't be.”

“No,” Ashlyn shrugged. “I'm pretty comfortable, just a little sleepy and drowsy. The drugs must be amazing. So what happened to me afterwards?”

“They brought you straight to base camp, to the mini hospital they have put up there...” Ali explained. “You were dying, losing a lot of blood, passed out. I saw you briefly. And it was decided there wasn't much they could do for you there with the little resources available, and that you should be taken to a decent military hospital in a decent country as fast as possible. The ship's already a huge improvement, actually. They could do a lot more for you he—,”

“Wait,” Ashlyn looked at herself. She thought she was fine. Sure there were some cuts and bruises on her arms, her sports bra and underwear covering her a little, and there was a heavy bandage on her head, but nothing else. “How am I that badly injured? I feel fine, I look fine.”

The older woman let a long, deep breathe and moved from the chair where she was sitting to the verge of her bed, holding her hand on her lap with one of hers and caressing her cheek with the other hand.

“You feel fine because the doctors did a brilliant job, the meds are great, and you're lying down, sweetie. You've got hours of rest on your back too,” Ali said with the utmost gentleness. “But you're far from fine right now. You've got a bad concussion, first and second degree burns all over, internal bruising... yeah, it could have been much worse. It should have been way worse. I mean, you shouldn't even be alive, your grandpa or some other angel of yours sure was keeping a close eye on you... so given the circumstances, fine, you can say you're almost fine. But you still need to stay here and be a good patient, and let them take proper care of you at a proper hospital.”

“Oh, but I hate hospitals... although fine,” Ashlyn half smiled small. “I'll be a good girl. I still don't think I'm so bad, though. I even feel like walking outside and getting some air.”

“No way,” Ali forbid her. “You stay here cosy and good.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn squeezed her hand a little, but she could still see clouds behind Ali's pupils. “Alex... what are you not telling me?”

Ali avoided her gaze but, at last, gave in, looking up sadly.

“I'm not the one who should say...”

“Whatever it is, I'd rather hear it from a friend, and you're my only friend here, Alex,” Ashlyn knew using the rarely used nickname softened Ali, whose actual name was Alexandra, up. “Come on, Warrior Princess. I'm a big girl, I can take it. You know all I need is the truth and I'll be fine. I hate lies.”

With a shaking breath, Ali nodded.

“Fine, but before I tell you, Ashlyn, I want you to remember this doesn't make you any less you. Any less beautiful, or strong, or capable... this doesn't change as many things as you may think, okay?” Ashlyn looked confused at her, and Ali took a deep breath and stood up, grabbing Ashlyn's bedsheets and pulling them down in a quick movement, folding them at the feet of the bed.

Ashlyn looked down as the rest of her battered, bruised body was exposed, her underwear covering the most intimate areas. At first, she didn't notice anything. She moved her bruised legs a little, and then, she saw it. Or better said, she didn't see it. While her right foot moved, with a small bandage wrapped around the middle, her left foot just wasn't there. Instead, Ashlyn's left leg ended abruptly in a stump wrapped thickly in many bandages a palm below her knee.

The breath caught in Ashlyn's throat as her eyes widened and her hands flew to her left thigh, her expression showing the horror she felt as she abruptly sat up, not caring about the way the world seemed to spin around her with the sudden movement. Ali was by her side in an instant, sitting next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and only then did Ashlyn realize she was shaking.

“My leg! My foot!” Ashlyn gasped, horrified, her eyes glued to the bandaged stump. Her heart started racing in panic, anxiety rising until a solid lump formed in her throat and her eyes filled with tears. “Oh no! Oh no! My foot! What happened to my foot?!”

“I'm so sorry, sweetie,” Ali felt her heart breaking for her friend, and pressed a kiss against her temple. “Breathe, Ashlyn, hysteria won't help you now...”

“Who made the cut?!” Ashlyn roared, suddenly angry, looking at Ali. “Who gave them permission to ruin my life?!”

“No one, Ash, I promise, this wasn't the doctor's job. They merely patched it up. Listen to me,” Ali moved to cover her with the bedsheets again and took a blanket from her chair, wrapping it around Ashlyn before sitting by her side again, this time facing her and hugging her close, tenderly trying to calm her hard breathing. “Listen, your foot wasn't there when they found you, Ash, that's why you were losing so much blood so fast. It's why you almost died. At the camp, they managed to control the bleeding, clean and stitch-up the wound, and then once in this ship they were better equipped to check it out and give you antibiotics and all, but they'll reopen the wound and fix the mess once in hospital, leave it ready to try out some prosthesis at some point, okay? And you'll walk again. But we need to make sure you stay alive first, you're not out of the woods yet.”

“Stay alive?” Ashlyn sobbed out, shutting her eyes closed. “What for, Ali? I'm done. I'm finished...” she cried, slumped against her.

“Nonsense,” Ali caressed her long, bleached hair, that Ashlyn always wore in a tight bun or a long braid. This time, the braid was undone by the nurses and revealed a wavy hair falling below her shoulders. “What about Raya and Jenson? And your grandma, what will she do if she has to receive a coffin and a flag, uh? You have to fight. You have to stay. You still have a lot of good to do. And you're a shark. Sharks don't whimper and mope around when they get bitten... they go and bite back, don't they?”

Ashlyn nodded briefly and buried her face against Ali's chest, letting a long breath out as she fought to calm down in her embrace. At last, she fell asleep, and Ali tucked her back in bed, sitting again on the chair, ready to guard over her friend for a few hours more.

When she next woke up, Ashlyn was in a very different environment. This time, she could recognize she was in a proper hospital room, in the most comfortable bed she had lied on in months, one whose upper part was folded upwards just a little, so she didn't lie flat and was able to see around her pretty well. Ali wasn't around, and Ashlyn saw now she had a hospital bracelet on, a hospital gown, her hair was braided and she was connected to different machines through different cables. A nasal cannula had been placed horizontally underneath her nostrils, new IV-s were on her arms, the sun came through small windows, and she felt only slightly less tired.

Just as her eyes stopped for a few moments on her sheets, on the part where her left foot should be, a door opened and Ali came through, smiling immediately as she saw her.

“You're awake! I was just in the bathroom,” Ali rushed to her and, to Ashlyn's surprise, placed her lips tenderly on her forehead. “And you are a little less feverish. Got some high fever last night when we arrived... how are you?”

The captain looked up at Ali. She had changed clothes and her hair was back in a short bun. She was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and jeans, and had deep bags under her eyes.

“A bit drowsy still,” Ashlyn sighed deeply. “Did they... say anything about my leg yet?”

“Yes, uh... Dr Shimizu, he's one of the best ortho surgeons in Europe, and he took you to the OR last night, worried that the fever had gotten so high because something was wrong with the wound. It's gotten quite infected, so he cleaned it up more and patched it up better, making sure the bone wouldn't pinch into the skin and muscle and... well, that it was in the best possible state,” said Ali. “He said he'd come in a few hours to check on you again, and you can ask him any questions you might have. I already asked him if you'll be fit for a prosthesis, because I imagined you'd want to know, and he said that eventually, yes.”

Ashlyn nodded slowly.

“Thank you, Ali. Has anyone... phoned... my family?”

“Well, Christen texted me asking about you and she said she knew things because Major Wambach had called Tobin to tell her everything and asked her to visit your family and tell them in person. Christen is accompanying Tobin, they were already in Florida.”

“Good,” Ashlyn nodded again, observing that now the room didn't spin around as much, although her head did hurt a little. “They know Tobin. They'll feel better getting the news from her. And uh, did anyone recover my phone and my stuff?”

“Yes, I gathered your stuff from your tent with your comrades, hopefully we didn't leave anything out... we can ask Major Wambach to find anything you miss. Your bags are in my hotel room, not far from here, just five minutes if you want me to get them.”

“Oh, thank you... no, I just need my phone. I need to speak with my grandma myself.”

“Luckily, I took your phone with me. I figured it'd be useful if anyone from camp called,” Ali searched in her pocket and pulled out Ashlyn's phone. Luckily, Ashlyn never flew with her personal belongings, because they were no use up there in a fighter. She left those in her tent.

Thanking Ali again, Ashlyn took her phone and called her grandmother Eunice. Ali moved to the window to give them some privacy, and did her best not to pay attention to Ashlyn's soft voice as the phone conversation went on for over twenty minutes. At last, Dr Shimizu came in and she ended the call, her attention turning to her doctor.

  
  



	4. Change of plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> All of this is FICTION. Even when there are characters named after and inspired on real people, and even when there might be real locations and historical events. It's still a FICTIONAL story, and it's not meant to detriment, insult or hurt anyone, but only with the purpose of entertainment.
> 
> I think we can all use some entertainment in our lives through these difficult times. I don't know you, but I've lost nearly everything over Covid. I no longer have a job, a career, and all my professional plans for this year are, as for now, cancelled. I can't even make any future professional plans as for now. I literally had to pack my bags, leave my first house since I moved out from my childhood home, and leave my friends there, my life there, everything, for God knows how long, so I could return home and take care of my elderly mother less than a week ago. And now I'm fighting to stay healthy so I can keep her healthy and take care of her, while we live on our savings, that's all we have left. And writing brings me a little bit of joy and for what I see, reading brings you a bit of joy too, and I think we can all use as much joy now as we can get. So that's the only purpose of fanfiction for me, nothing else, and certainly, nothing moved by some "white saviour complex" or a desire to deprecate anyone or anything.
> 
> Thank you all for your support and your comments. We will get through this, I don't know how, I don't know when, but we will. Trust me on this.

**Chapter 4: Change of plans.**

A few days later, they were in the US West Coast, at a new military hospital in Los Angeles they had arrived to the day before from Osaka. The final destination was Orlando, Florida, but the doctors that attended Ashlyn were so worried with her unstable state, fever rising and lowering constantly and unpredictably and her brain still somewhat swollen, that they had advised the Air Force against putting her in a flight that wasn't as short as possible. So instead of getting in a plane from Osaka to Orlando, they had stopped in Los Angeles first so the flying time Ashlyn did in a row was smaller and between flights she could rest a little and be stabilized in different hospitals.

To say the captain wasn't having fun was an understatement. Although in Los Angeles it was easy to find doctors and nurses who fluently spoke English to her, unlike in Japan, she still hated hospitals, and hated the constant check-ups, poking and examinations. Now, she couldn't have as many medications as before, because they couldn't abuse them or her body would give out. She was happy not to be so drugged anymore because her mind got less foggy, but she was also more in pain and discomfort than before, although the medical team made her pain more manageable. Ali took her in strolls in a wheelchair around the hospital a few times per day to get her out of the bed and moving, and a physical therapist visited her every morning to get her to move a little as well, but for the rest of time, she was let to rest, which was also important.

Headaches came and went, her cuts and bruises looked better, and appetite was slowly making its way back to her. She was still tired most of the time, feeling weak and without any desire to do anything, even quite moody and anxious, but Ashlyn did her best to be in good behaviour for Ali, who didn't have to be there yet wouldn't accept leaving her side no matter her insistence. Her leg started hurting before they had left Japan, as she stopped being able to have as big doses of painkillers as before, and nights were particularly difficult and filled with nightmares, but Ali always made it all better.

“Come on,” Ali insisted, her enthusiasm unwavering as she knelt on the verge of the bed, shaking her shoulders lightly to get her to collaborate. “Ash! Guess what day is today!”

“I already tried!” Ashlyn had only woken up minutes before and wasn't participating with Ali. She had only offered a weak suggestion of 'the day we go home'.

“Try again!”

“Ali, how am I supposed to know which day is today if I'm a wounded soldier in a hospital and there are so many time changes?” Ashlyn rolled eyes, facing her. “I barely even know if it's Monday or Friday. Cut me some slack.”

“Fine,” Ali sighed. “Today is your birthday.”

Ashlyn looked up at Ali for a moment, and Ali looked back at her with an enthusiastic grin. However, to Ali's disconcert, she shook her head and looked away, closing her eyes.

“Whatever,” Ashlyn murmured.

Ali's shoulders slumped and she frowned, her smile dropping.

“Aren't you happy it's your birthday?”

“Sure Ali,” Ashlyn said, unable to stop herself from being fully sarcastic. “I've been at the hospital for days, I'm miles from home, I've got a brain concussion and got a foot blown-up, but sure, let's fucking celebrate because there is so much to celebrate, isn't it? If I could, I'd be jumping up and down and dancing! So happy, yay!”

She knew she had gone too far with sarcasm, but she didn't apologize. Ali scowled and looked down, walking away and flopping on a chair. An uncomfortable silence stirred between them for the first time ever, until suddenly Ali broke it.

“There's no need to be such a dickhead, you know?” she said nonchalantly.

Offended, Ashlyn turned harshly to face her with a frown.

“Dickhead?!”

“Yes. You are being a dickhead,” Ali said, defiantly looking at her in the eyes with such fierceness, Ashlyn was left speechless for a moment, which gave Ali room to go on. “Fine, host yourself a pity party, Ashlyn, but seriously, you need to put in order your priorities. You are a soldier, I thought you had more balls than most men, I thought you were tough, yet here you are, moping around because you lost a foot. You are alive, which is a fucking miracle at this point you still shouldn't take for granted, but instead of feeling grateful and appreciating your blessings, all you do is lie there and complain, day after day.”

“Wow,” Ashlyn glared at her. “You know, no one forced you to be here, you can go, there's the door. I'm not here to please fucking anybody, and I don't expect you to understand the hell I'm going through, so go ahead, leave.”

“No,” Ali argued, unwavering. “Ashlyn, I'm not saying what you're going through isn't a big deal. It _is_ a big deal. It's probably one of the most traumatic things anyone can go through, which is why I'm here, because that's what friends do, because if it were me, I'd want you here with me. And you have a right to feel miserable and complain... to a certain extent. But now is time you get your head up and stop the pity party, Ash, it's time, because otherwise, you're just going to bring yourself lower than you are, and make your recovery unnecessarily harder. You need to start focusing less on the ugly and more on the good, on the fact that you survived—,”

“How many times do I have to tell you,” Ashlyn raised her voice, “that being alive isn't everything?! My quality of life sucks! I will never be able to pilot again, Ali, do you even realize? Do you realize my life will never be the same, that all the things I love doing, flying, surfing, skating, playing football, are done with?! That all I can do now is lie on a bed and wait for the day sitting up doesn't make my head burst?! What kind of life is that?! I'm twenty-eight, and I'm left on a wheelchair like an old woman! Has it occurred to you that perhaps, I'd rather be dead?! That to me, death is not that horrible thing is it to you, but a peaceful well-deserved rest to end a well-lived life?! No, because you have no fucking idea what my life's been like, what's waiting for me in Florida, the hells I've gone through only to...” she blinked tears of anger away and shook her head. “I don't deserve to be here just to endure more pain and misery, for what anyway? I cannot even help those kids anymore. I can never again be their flying superhero guarding their dreams. I'd rather be dead. I was ready. I have no need for more suffering, I've had enough, and it's worth nothing. All I ever asked my comrades to do was bring my body home, they didn't have to do this.”

With a long sigh, Ali looked sadly at her and leaned forward, grabbing her hand with both hands and enough strength to keep the captain from pulling her hand back. Ali gently pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and watched her in silence as Ashlyn tried to recompose herself.

“Look, I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I'm no stranger to some of those feelings,” Ali said softly. “You know, when I was twenty-one, I broke my leg playing soccer in University. I thought I was fine, I went to my mother's wedding and all, but then I was feeling so sick and... I was just lucky that at last I went to the hospital, because I had developed a pulmonary embolism post surgery and the doctor said if I had gone to bed that night, I wouldn't have woken-up,” Ashlyn looked serious at her, frowning lightly. “I couldn't play soccer for over six months, but after having been on a hospital bed for hours that day wondering if I'd live, if the meds would be enough to help me... I wasn't even mad to be out for six months. I couldn't believe I was even alive. And I swore to myself I'd make it bloody count. I became an Olympian, a World Champion... and when all of that ended with another injury, when I was forced to stop doing what I loved most at the highest level, to change career and start all over, the reminder that all that time I had had was already extra time I was just lucky enough to have, kept me going. I got into volunteering. I got into wanting to give back, to be thankful and give this world a little of all I had been given. And I know it's not easy to want to live, Ashlyn, I'm not saying it is. I know sometimes life is too much. My brother, Kyle, he... he wasn't there when I almost died, because he had been bullied so badly for years, for being gay, for being different, and then he had suffered rape and abuse from partners that... he had become an alcoholic and a drug addict, he had run from everyone, he trusted no one, and he wanted to die too. He only came back when through common friends, he heard of what had happened to me, and he realized he had been too busy trying to die, trying to end his suffering, that he had forgotten there were things he still cared for. Things he couldn't just leave behind. People who needed him. Don't you think there are people who need you home?”

Ashlyn looked down and shrugged.

“They have more people, and even if they didn't, they aren't my responsibility. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish and think of what it's best for you... and no matter who dies, the world will always keep spinning. Those you were important for will have no other option than to keep going and toughen up. My brother is an addict too. I haven't heard a word from him in over a decade,” Ashlyn admitted, to Ali's surprise. “Last I knew about him, from a friend who's a cop, was that he got arrested for burglary and assault, so he's been in prison for the last couple years... don't think he'll give much of a shit if I die. He probably won't even know. My Mum is sunk in alcoholism and depression, she neglected her children, won't give a shit either. And Dad...” she snorted. “The bastard beat me up my whole life. He called my a dyke and a disgrace and kicked me out of the house when I was twelve 'cause I said I loved a female classmate. I had to move in with my grandparents. They will be some of the very few heartbroken ones, but they're tough people and have a bunch of grandchildren and a couple daughters who will look after them and love them unconditionally... so you see, the world will go on without me. I have no partner, no children to care for, and I've just lost my Air Force family so... whatever.”

Ali's heart sunk for her friend, but somehow, she understood. If those were the parents who had raised her, she had grown up being neglected, feeling like she wasn't good enough, kicked out and disowned for being gay, then losing her brother, who she had said in the past was her best friend growing up, and now she probably didn't want to live to see her grandparents, who had raised her since her teens, die too. She imagined the Air Force was to Ashlyn what her teammates had been to Ali, the one family who truly had lived the worst with you, stood by your side through the worst hells because they were living them with you, and protected you. In Ashlyn's case, she must be even more close, as those people literally saved each other's lives.

“That sucks,” said Ali at last, caressing her hand. “But I think you're a little wrong. Once you're part of the Air Force family, you always are, isn't it? All the friendships you made... I imagine those people really do love you. I mean, some of them risked their necks to rescue what they thought was just pieces of your body, and Tobin speaks wonders of you... I'm sure all your comrades in Philippines are dying to hear good news about you. To hear you're cracking jokes again. I'm sure they'd be heartbroken if they had to carry your coffin out of a plane. Sure life goes on and they'll toughen up... but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like getting your heart ripped out, right? You must know, you sure must've lost friends.”

“I have,” Ashlyn nodded, staring at their hands.

“Well, there's no need for your friends to bury you. Tobin expects you to be her best woman, after all, right?” Ali smiled small. “And you should be the one to bury your grandparents, not the other way around. You should have the chance to see your godchildren grow, to play with them more... they won't care if you have a foot less. I'm sure Jenson will even think it's cool.” Ashlyn snorted a laugh.

“He probably will, yeah. I can tell him a shark did it. Who knows, might be true...”

“Hey if we don't know, you get to write your own super cool story,” Ali squeezed her hand softly. “And I would miss you terribly if you were gone. I mean, for a moment there I thought you were. We all heard the crash and looked up and saw the explosion in the air, the fire and the black smoke... I knew it was you,” her voice cracked a little and Ashlyn looked up at her, frowning lightly. “You're my friend, Ashlyn. One of my best friends actually, even if we haven't known each other for that long... I came here because I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you after seeing how bad you were. And if you had died, I would've packed my bags, headed to your funeral... and I wouldn't have volunteered again. I wouldn't have wanted to see another friend go and die.”

Ashlyn gulped, looking up at her and seeing how sad it made her just to think of the scenario.

“Good thing I'm alive then.”

“Damn right,” Ali smiled at her. “Maybe next year you can come back with me as a volunteer. Find another way to help those kids, don't you think?”

“Maybe, yeah.”

“And you know, my brother says that... when he wanted to die, he thought he had seen all he had to see. But now he realizes that life's like eating a plate with both your favourite and your most hated foods, and he had only eaten the bad part and was about to quit, when he still had all the good part left, one that now he's happy to get to enjoy. Maybe that's what happened to you too. Maybe you got all the ugly part before... so now you can sit back and enjoy the good.”

“The good is temporary, Ali,” Ashlyn said with a sad smile.

“So is the bad,” Ali replied. “But this time, when it comes, I'll be right with you. No more facing shit alone, okay?” Ashlyn pursed her lips in thought, but then nodded.

“Okay.”

“So will you help me devour the cake I made you last night, or what?” Ashlyn looked deeply surprised.

“You spent the night making me a cake?”

Ali grinned at the hint of excitement from her.

“Well, I couldn't find one in the supermarket that was as healthy as the doctor recommended, so...” Ali went to her backpack and pulled out a small Tupperware and a little unopened package of candles, walking to her. “Happy birthday, my friend.” Ashlyn grinned at her, feeling deeply touched.

“You truly are a Princess Warrior, Kriegs,” Ashlyn looked down at the small chocolate cake, reading 'Happy Bidet Ash!' on the top of it and feeling even more touched. “You're amazing.”

Ali beamed at her.

“Let's eat the good part shall we? Oh, think of a wish while I put on the candles...!”

A few minutes later, Ashlyn was still smiling after enjoying a piece of one of the most amazing cakes she had ever had -even if it was low on sugar and the other crap that was hell for health but made cakes delicious- and Ali was throwing to a trash bag all the disposable plates and cutlery she had gotten, when the door opened and, to Ashlyn's surprise, Tobin and Christen came in.

“Happy birthday!” the couple screamed, grinning at them.

“Tobin, Christen!” Ashlyn grinned right back at them. “What are you doing here?”

“Just in time to eat the leftovers!” said Ali, pointing at the remains of cake on the night stand. “You'll have to use your hands, though...”

Excitedly, they all hugged and sat by Ashlyn's bed, with Ashlyn sitting up on her bed, her stump hidden beneath blankets. As they sat, Tobin and Christen explained Ali had dragged them to Los Angeles to celebrate Ashlyn's birthday, and Christen pulled a present from her big purse. Wrapped in colourful paper was a new watch and the last book of Ashlyn's favourite author, which had come out while she was deployed.

“You guys, thank you, you didn't have to do this...” Ashlyn beamed at them, checking her fancy new TagHeuer watch.

“And I'm knitting you a scarf,” Ali confessed. Ashlyn raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I didn't have time to finish it for today, but hey, it's on the works.”

“A scarf? I live in Florida!” said Ashlyn full of amusement.

“Yes, but you have to come to Virginia with me sometime, remember?” feeling super touched, Ashlyn chuckled and nodded.

“Thank you Ali, I'll wear that scarf day and night. You're the sweetest, I honestly can't believe you planned this whole thing...” Ali grinned proudly at her. And the celebration had only just begun. She had a whole day with their friends planned out.

  
  



	5. Florida bound

**Chapter 5: Florida bound.**

When it came the time to come back to Florida, after a couple days' stop in Austin, Texas, Ashlyn's health had improved somewhat and everyone was more confident that she'd be able to fly back just fine in a small military medical airship. Ali, Tobin and Christen were allowed with her, and while she slept the flight on a stretcher, Tobin and Christen sat with Ali and the three tried to enjoy their flight as well. They landed in Orlando several hours later, and Ashlyn was then taken to Orlando's military hospital to finish her recovery. Tobin and Christen left their things at their home and then went to see Ashlyn, while Ali returned to her flat to put her things in order after so long away.

Flying so much, with the long hours and the many different time frames didn't seem to sit well with Ashlyn, thought. The next day she had a terrible headache that wouldn't go away with painkillers, she had a fever, and her leg was killing her, but it was also the day her family was coming to visit.

“You don't have to worry about how they will see you,” Ali was saying as she helped Ashlyn into a pyjama t-shirt, buttoning it up at the front for her. “They're your family. They're here to take care of you. How's that fever going?” she pressed her warm, soft hand against Ashlyn's forehead, and Ashlyn tried to ignore the way her stomach flipped at the touch. “Seems the medication is helping a little, uh?”

“A little,” Ashlyn murmured, truly feeling terrible, but somewhat better with Ali there. “Hey Alex... will you stay?”

“Stay?” Ali looked at her confused. “While your family's here?” the captain nodded. “Don't you want some privacy with them? Family only?”

“At this point, you're pretty much family,” Ashlyn shrugged. “It's just... forget it, I'm being selfish. You're probably dying to see your brother and your Mum...”

“Hey, I've waited this long, I can wait a day more. Besides, we do Skype a lot,” Ali smiled warmly at her, easing her instantly. “Would you prefer if I was here?” Ashlyn nodded shyly, embarrassed. “Then this is where I'll be.”

“Look who's here!” Tobin said, arriving with Christen. They moved aside, and in came Major Abby Wambach with her wife, a writer named Glennon Doyle.”

“Abby!” Ashlyn, despite feeling unwell, grinned, weakly lifting a hand as a salute. “You're here already?”

“The mission ended for me as well,” Abby approached her and leaned to hug her. “How are you doing, Ash? Are they treating you well?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn patted her back. “Just wait, I'll be fine. How're you doing, Glen?”

“Very well,” Glennon smiled, kissing her cheek. “I missed you!”

“Let me introduce you to my friend Ali, she's a volunteer for the Red Cross, and she hasn't left my side. Probably the main reason I haven't lost my royal mind,” Ashlyn introduced them. “Ali, I believe you know Abby, and this is her wife Glennon.”

“It's a pleasure, Ashlyn speaks wonders of her friends,” Ali said sincerely as they shook hands.

“Pinch me, you're Ali Krieger!” Glennon realized. “Babe!” she elbowed Abby. “The defender, Ali Krieger!”

“Oh, my wife's a huge fan,” Abby said apologetically. “I must've forgotten to mention...”

“You _forgot_?” Glennon shook her head in disapproval, and grinned at Ali, who looked amused. “I'm your biggest fan. That spontaneous goal against China was _incredible_.” Ali chuckled.

“Thank you,” she said. “I do miss it a little. What do you do?”

“I'm a writer, far less glamorous but—,”

“She's an amazing writer,” Abby interrupted. “Babe, don't you undermine yourself! She writes motivational, inspiring masterpieces. Glennon Doyle, look it up.”

“I will, sounds like I've got all my reading covered then!” Ali said enthusiastically.

“We all read 'Wolfpack',” Ashlyn commented, “it's the kind of book that leaves you feeling like you could climb the Everest.”

“I recommend it to every friend,” Christen added, nodding, as Glennon blushed.

“You guys are just too nice.”

“Anyway, we know your family is coming, we didn't mean to intrude,” said Abby. “Just wanted to check on you real quick.”

“You can stay,” Ashlyn assured. “You know them anyway, and I'm sure Grandma will be happy to criticise how bad they feed you in the military herself.” She added with half a smirk. Abby snorted a laugh.

“Well if you're sure, we'll stay then. I sure miss Eunice.”

“So she's everybody's Grandma, or...?” Ali inquired, looking at the group.

“She's the kind of woman who makes everyone feel like family,” said Tobin. “Once you meet her, she'll never stop remembering your birthday and sending you a Christmas card. Sweetest lady alive.”

As if on cue, the room opened and in came a woman who looked to be in her eighties, with short, curly grey hair, and dark green eyes. She was short, but looked like a gentle human being, and her face lightened up as she saw them and beamed. She was followed by a super tall grey-haired man, wide like a closet and with the same chin Ashlyn had, his eyes brown, a young, tattooed blonde girl, a young, tall and thin blonde man, and a gorgeous brunette who interlaced her fingers with his.

Suddenly the room filled with warm salutes and hugs and kisses. Even Ali was hugged, despite being a stranger, as she learned that it was Ashlyn's grandmother Eunice Harris, Uncle Jimbo Habovick Jr., and Jimbo's daughter Casey, who was the blonde, his eldest son Corey, and Corey's wife Brittany. She also found out Corey and Brittany were the parents of Jenson and Raya. Even though Eunice wasn't related to them, Ali noticed Corey, Brittany and Casey called her Grandma or Nana as well, and she treated them no different than she treated Ashlyn, whom she was currently showering with kisses.

“You've gotten so pale, and so thin, are they starving you in here? I'll bring you some mac and cheese next time, I know they're your favourite,” Eunice was saying, holding Ashlyn's face between her wrinkled hands and kissing her cheek.

“Don't worry Nana, they feed me right, I'm just low appetite these days,” Ashlyn managed a smile. “Where's Pops? Not coming?”

“Oh, he's got a cold. Nothing to worry about, he's fine, but we figured you shouldn't be exposed to microbes,” Eunice explained. “He told me to give you many kisses for him as well.”

“Are they looking out for you properly, Niece? Want us to give them a message?” inquired Uncle Jimbo, caring for Ashlyn.

“It's okay, they're nice to me, thanks.”

“Kyle wanted to come,” said Corey, standing by Ashlyn. “But his baby is almost here, they couldn't fly over from Alabama at this stage.”

“Kyle?” Ali was confused.

“Oh, Ali's brother's called Kyle as well,” Ashlyn explained. “My cousin Kyle. He's becoming a Daddy really soon, he's the middle brother of this trio.” She pointed to Casey and Corey.

“So my baby says you've been taking good care of her for us,” Eunice said, suddenly grabbing Ali's hands gently. “Thank you. You're an angel, Ali.”

“Oh,” Ali blushed heavily. “I've done nothing she wouldn't have done for me. You've raised a truly remarkable person, Eunice.”

“Nana for you,” said Eunice with a grin. Ali, who had never been able to call anyone like that, felt herself getting emotional and grinned, nodding.

“Thanks.”

“You're family now! When Ash gets discharged, we'll throw a proper welcome home party, and you will come! There'll be tons of mac and cheese.”

“Oh, my mouth is watering already...!” said Ashlyn, making them laugh.

They sat around as chairs were pulled, and Eunice opened a Tupperware of sweets she had made for everyone. Ashlyn wasn't hungry, but she leaned back and enjoyed the company and the light chatting, every now and then falling asleep for a few minutes just to wake up and catch-up with the conversation. Eventually, she felt obliged to ask her uncle about her imprisoned brother.

“Chris is lucky he'll only do four years more,” Uncle Jimbo told her. “The judge admitted he's had excellent behaviour in prison, and he also helped them catch some other criminals, the years were reduced.”

“He refuses to let any of us visit him, though,” Brittany said. “He asked his lawyer to forbid family visits.”

“Seriously?” Ashlyn puffed. She had only visited her brother a couple times, time ago, between deployments. “Not even Christopher? I thought he was the child Curtis liked.” Curtis was her father. She didn't enjoy calling him Dad, and tried not to do it.

“Curtis doesn't care much about anyone anymore, unfortunately,” Eunice sighed sadly. It was her son, after all. “But Christopher will come into his senses. He just needs some time for himself.”

“That's one thing he'll surely get in prison,” Tobin commented.

“And what about Mum? How's she doing?” asked Ashlyn without much enthusiasm.

“She tried to kill herself again last week,” Uncle Jimbo shrugged. “The lady we hired to look after her caught her before she could do any harm, thankfully, and she's back to antidepressants, hopefully she will take them this time. It's funny how for someone who loves drugs so much, she can't bloody take the ones she's prescribed.”

“Did she do it because of me?” Ashlyn asked with a frown, unused to her mother showing any interest in her.

“Nonsense,” replied Jimbo, shaking his head. “When we told her about you, she said it was time you fell on your ass for doing stupid shit, that's what she said. No, I think she was pissed she had lost fifty dollars in a bet.”

“That makes more sense,” Ashlyn sighed.

“Does she try to kill herself often?” Ali asked, frowning in concern.

“Monthly or so,” said Eunice sadly. “Whenever she's pissed about drugs, money, alcohol... those are basically the things she cares about. Been like that since she caught my son fucking someone else in her bed, poor thing.”

“That was decades ago,” Ashlyn explained to Ali. “She started innocently by drinking too much and doing drugs, when Chris and I were children. Then it escalated, until she didn't care about anything else. She stopped feeding us or taking us to school, she stopped remembering our birthdays and talking to us... Supposedly she's mad because we remind her of Curtis too much, physically.”

“That's no excuse to neglect your own child,” murmured Ali in disgust. She could not imagine her own parents ever treating any of them, her brother or herself, like that. Ashlyn, in her eyes, deserved a good set of loving parents, not such crap.

“To be honest, at this point she makes me sadder than angry,” Ashlyn smiled sadly, looking exhausted. “You guys, I love having you here and I'm grateful for your visit, but I'm feeling quite worn out now. You should go home, I'm just going to sleep now.”

Everyone got up and took turns to hug and kiss Ashlyn goodbye, picking-up their jackets and bags and starting to leave the room. When Ali went to say goodbye to Ashlyn too, assuming she should leave as well, Ashlyn stopped her, grabbing her hand and waiting as the last of her family and friends left.

“What is it?” Ali asked, confused.

“May I push my luck and ask you to stay?” Ashlyn inquired with a soft, small smile. “I just... feel better when you're around. It's silly.”

Ali couldn't help but feeling warm inside at her words, proud to be the one who made Ashlyn feel like that. So she moved her lips to form an affectionate smile and sat on the verge of the bed, squeezing the hand with which Ashlyn was grabbing her.

“I'm always happy to stay,” Ali admitted.

Ashlyn bit her lip nervously, but decided to just go for it.

“To tell you the truth, Ali, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but it never seemed to be the best time. It probably still isn't now either, but... I do realize fever means infection, and that could easily lead to sepsis and death, right?” Ali looked saddened, but Ashlyn squeezed her hand, rubbing circles on the back of it with her thumb, comfortingly. “So... since I don't know what my odds are right now and I'm pretty conscious we never know when we run out of time until we do, I don't think I should keep waiting for the perfect time. Maybe we can make imperfect the new perfect, uh?”

“If I only knew what you're talking about,” said Ali, looking sympathetically at her.

“Right,” Ashlyn snorted a laugh. “Okay, but before I tell you, I just want you to know that I'm only saying it because I'm not one to carry meaningful things to my grave, but you shouldn't feel obliged to do or say anything, okay? I don't expect you to do any—,”

“Ashlyn,” Ali interrupted her, growing impatient. “Spit it out.”

Ashlyn smiled softly at her, but suddenly she wasn't feeling all right at all. She felt her heart accelerate in a way that had little to do with her nerves, and she felt suddenly breathless. Then, she started feeling very light headed, and her hands got clammy.

“Al... Al...” she heard herself slur and Ashlyn's vision got too blurry. Ali frowned.

“Ashlyn?” Ali shook her softly, but Ashlyn's eyes closed, her face very pale. Ali noticed Ashlyn's hand in her own was very clammy. “Ashlyn! Ash!” she kept trying to shake her, and then the machines went crazy. Ali ran outside to the corridor. “Nurse! NURSE!”

  
  



	6. There's a better view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep,  
> You need it more than me  
> The season changed, but we're the same,  
> And where we're standing
> 
> There's a better view,  
> There's a better view
> 
> Tell me, tell me where you've been?  
> Where you travelled who are your friends,  
> You don't need a place to go  
> Just to call your home
> 
> There's a better view,  
> There's a better view,  
> From where we are
> 
> -Bonnie Dune

**Chapter 6: There's a better view.**

Ali sat in a waiting room, frowning lightly in worry, with her hands intertwined in silent prayer. She had been waiting for an hour, while the doctors and nurses treated Ashlyn and stabilized her, and she was filled with worry. She hadn't called anyone, as she didn't know what she'd say.

“Ms Krieger?” Dr Martinez appeared in the room and Ali automatically stood up and walked to the brunette middle-aged woman.

“Doctor, what happened? Is she okay?”

“She's just sleeping now, stable,” the doctor said, soothing her immediately. “It seems like somehow, between the day before yesterday's blood tests and now, she developed a sepsis infection and now she had a sepsis shock,” Ali's eyes widened and the doctor kindly smiled sympathetically. “Don't worry, like I said, she's stable now. It'll take a few days for her to fully recover, but we've given her a heavy dose of antibiotics via IV and an oxygen mask to lessen her efforts, and the fever has already lowered several degrees. It's the leg, it's infected and it reached the bloodstream and spread around.”

“Her leg... do you need to...?” Ali bit her lip, anxious. “Cut more?”

“No, that won't solve things. We just need to be patient and keep up with the medication, and hopefully she'll improve quickly. She's under the best possible hands and we're observing her closer now, we'll keep her at short leash. She won't be feeling very well while her body fights the infection, but she is a tough one, and in a matter of days, I'm confident things will be much better.”

Even though Ashlyn had been temporarily moved to the Intensive Care Unit, Ali was allowed then to stay with her for the night, and the captain would very likely be returned to a normal room in 24h. Ali thus entered a room crowded with beds and, in a cubicle separated with a glass wall and door, she found Ashlyn's bed, with the pilot sleeping in the darkened area, only illuminated by the small lights coming from some machines. One of them beeped softly as her heartbeat was read, but Ali ignored it, occupying a small blue chair by the bed, and finding one of Ashlyn's hands to wrap her own around.

Finding the captain's hand cold, she brought it to her lips to blow some warmth on it, and she rubbed it gently, looking up at the sleeping woman, whose breathing was sounding a little too much because of the mask. And to her surprise, after a while, she saw Ashlyn's hazel eyes open a little, finding her.

“Hey you...” Ali smiled softly at her. “You're okay, it's just the infection, but the doc is pretty confident you'll be running around in a heartbeat,” she joked, and saw Ashlyn smile a little. “I'm not going anywhere, okay? You rest, and I'll be your dream-catcher.”

“Alex,” Ashlyn whispered. With the mask, Ali could barely hear her weak voice, so she reached with a hand and separated it a little, leaning down to hear her better. “Alex, I didn't say...”

“It can wait. Whatever it is, it can wait.” But the captain shook her head.

“Alex, I like you,” they stared at each other, Ali confused and Ashlyn looking intently. “I like you a lot, Alex. Like... I really do care about you, y'know?” Ashlyn went on, with the little strength she could gather. “From the first time I saw you, you had me wrapped around your finger. I know you probably don't even fancy me but... you should know I really do fancy you. People should know when someone cares about them that much, right?”

Ali frowned lightly, speechless, and let her mask go, leaning closer, staring at her in surprise and shock.

“Yeah,” she said, at last, nodding.

“I didn't want to die without telling you,” Ashlyn murmured, and at this close distance, Ali could hear her. “You're truly special, Kriegs.”

“Okay,” Ali didn't really know what to say, but she squeezed her hand softly. “Well, I care a hell of a lot about you too, all right? So don't die on me.”

“Will you...” Ashlyn took a deep breath to gather strength. “Go on a date with me...? If I get better?”

Ali's lips formed a light smile and she nodded.

“Get well, and we'll go on a date. Anywhere you want. And if you're a good girl, you may even get a kiss.”

A small chuckle appeared in Ashlyn's exhausted face.

“One of the good ones?” she asked shyly, like a child, and Ali snorted a laugh and nodded.

“An unforgettable one.”

Feeling victorious amid the weakness and sickness, Ashlyn smiled small and closed her eyes. She squeezed Ali's hand once for comfort, and drifted off to sleep. Ali had no idea if she'd remember their small conversation in the morning, but she smiled to herself, feeling a new warmth inside, and supported her chin on her hand, staring at Ashlyn's beautiful, sleeping face and wondering, for a moment, if maybe she could be a part of Ashlyn's good part of her life.

In the morning, Ali woke up with her head pressed against Ashlyn's healthy leg, the blankets in between. She looked up and saw Ashlyn was smiling down at her while a doctor auscultated her chest, lowering her hospital gown a little. Ali stretched, sitting back and yawning.

“Good morning,” said Ali casually.

“Morning,” the doctor smiled at her. “Very well Ms Harris, I think we can do without the mask now, we'll just leave it to the cannula...” she made the necessary changes and adjustments, but Ali noticed Ashlyn's eyes kept glued to her, glowing. When Dr Martinez finally left them alone, Ashlyn's smile widened.

“I didn't dream it, did I?” said Ashlyn hoarsely. “You said yes. We're having a date.”

“When you're healthier, yes,” Ali smiled and brought her hand to her lips affectionately. Ashlyn opened her hand and caressed her cheek gently, sending shivers down Ali's spine.

“You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.” Ali blushed.

“That's what you tell all the girls.”

“No,” Ashlyn shook her head, her thumb brushing Ali's lips. “That'd be lying to them. And I don't lie.”

“Come on, never? Not even a little one?”

“Never. I don't date much either, actually. More like, meaningless one-night-stands, now and then. Not like anyone's gonna want a footless retired pilot now,” she added with a snort and a smirk.

“I do,” said Ali in all seriousness. “I told you before. You're nothing less for this.” Ashlyn's eyes fixed on her intently, and the younger woman smiled softly.

“You are simply wonderful. You see me with kind eyes.”

“Shouldn't I?” Ashlyn shrugged.

“Some people would comment on the fact that I've killed a lot of people.”

This time, it was Ali's turn to shrug.

“A lot of people are also alive because of you. And,” Ali was feeling daring now, brave, “I do like to reward good behaviour. Even more if it comes from beautiful, kind people.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn looked tired, but she felt she could talk for hours, if it was with Ali. “What's my reward then?”

“Well,” Ali stood up, walking closer to her head and leaning forward, “maybe I'll save you from waiting to the first date.” They locked eyes and Ali closed the distance, softly pressing their lips together, as if she was afraid of hurting her. Ashlyn closed her eyes, feeling herself melt inside as Ali's warm, soft lips pressed just right against hers, a short kiss that left her wanting more. As her eyes opened and locked with Ali's half-opened ones, she saw pure desire in the brown ones.

“I... have an infection...”

“I think it's worth the risk,” Ali shrugged and cupped her face before seeking a second kiss. This time, Ashlyn moaned into it, and Ali kissed her more insistently. It was as if the brunette was everywhere, inside, around her, into her nostrils... she could smell her perfume and feel the gentle brush of her tongue against her own lips, the delicious pressure of their lips together, her hands on her face... Ashlyn kissed back with enthusiasm, and this time, Ali moaned and she smiled victorious against the kiss. Everything was perfect. But like all things, the moment ended and Ali affectionately caressed her face. “Come on now, take a nap, okay? You need some more rest. I'll call your Uncle Jimbo and let him know what's up.”

“Don't go,” Ashlyn groaned, pouting. Ali chuckled and shook her head.

“I won't. But you close those pretty eyes of yours and relax, okay?”

A smug smirk appeared on Ashlyn's face.

“You think my eyes are pretty?”

“'Course, but don't look so bloody smug,” Ali rolled eyes with an amused smile and pulled her phone, walking away to one corner of the room. “Sleep.”

“M'kay...”

Ashlyn obeyed and closed her eyes, snuggling until she was settled, and then quickly drifted off to sleep. Ali smiled softly, and made the necessary phone-call, shaking her head in disbelief. She was a living cliché. She was falling for a military girl.

Under Ali's guarding eyes, Ashlyn slept until the nurse brought in some light breakfast, also stopping to check her dressings and take her temperature. When she finally left, Ashlyn eyed her breakfast smoothie with a grimace.

“Well, your lips sure taste a billion times better than this crap,” Ashlyn commented. “Pretty sure this is poisonous...”

“Drama queen,” Ali joked, biting the sandwich she had rushed to buy off a vending machine on a moment the nurse had kicked her out to check Ashlyn better.

The captain smiled small and looked down at her stump for a long moment. Finally, after a long silence in which Ali finished her sandwich, she spoke.

“Are you sure about dating me?”

Surprised, Ali lifted her eyes to fix them on Ashlyn, confused about her change of mind.

“Of course I'm sure. Why?”

“Well,” Ashlyn shrugged. “I never really expected for you to want me too, and... I now realize... maybe you shouldn't date someone in my situation. I mean, people aren't supposed to date unless they're in a good place, right? Because otherwise, they bring others down with them. And I don't want to bring you down, Ali.”

The former player frowned lightly.

“Why do you think you'd bring me down?”

“Isn't it obvious? I've just lost a foot. I almost died last night, I... I've got a long, terribly difficult recovery ahead. I know it's not going to be pretty or easy and I know my baggage is going to be fifty times bigger than normal and... I don't want to be a weight on _your_ shoulders. I don't want you to mother me. I love having you around, I love when you take care of me, I know you do me a lot of good... but I put myself on your shoes and I know that you deserve better than to have to stand a broken, struggling shadow of myself. This is not... this isn't who I wanted to be for you. I wanted to give you so much, to treat you proper, to lift you up... not to drag you down.”

Ali nodded slowly, deep in thought. She understood where the blonde was coming from, and she could even imagine herself thinking the same stuff if situations were reversed. So she gathered her thoughts properly for a moment before speaking.

“You know, in another time, I might've agreed with you one hundred percent. I might've pushed us to wait until you were 100% all right. I know it's not anyone's ideal first dates to be hanging out in hospitals, helping with physiotherapy, or taking care of a very injured date. But Ashlyn, here's the thing, okay? You were one of my best friends before anything else. And I think that should come, for now, before anything else we might be. And I'm not the kind of friend who steps aside when someone I care about is in this shitty situation.”

“But Ali—,”

“No buts, Ash. Look, it doesn't matter what we'd do under normal circumstances, or what others would do in our place. This is us and our circumstances, and we'll have to find a way to make it work, because I'm not about to leave. I promise you're not a weight on my shoulders, okay? You still lift me up,” she smiled softly at her, holding her hand. “I'm not afraid of your baggage, we all have some... and if me being here helps you feel less worn down... then I'd like to stay. And if between nurse visits and feverish nights we happen to sneak a couple kisses... I won't mind.”

Ashlyn smiled small and nodded in agreement.

“I'm just sorry I can't give you the first dates I would've wanted. I was hoping to take you up in my airships once more and all...” Ali chuckled.

“Don't be sorry. What's so cool about hanging out with you is not that you're a captain and a hell of a pilot, but that you're there. And as long as you're there, we could be even doing a hospital picnic, and I'd love it. Tell you what, I will plan our first date.”

“You?” Ali nodded.

“I'll take you to the beach once more,” Ali said, coming closer to caress her face gently, looking lovingly at her. “I'll buy you a flower bouquet... I'll even carry you or push your wheelchair in the sand. And I'll tell you how beautiful you are even if you've gotten pale and a little too thin, and hold you close as we watch the sun dive into the ocean. Does that sound good?”

Even if she had tried, Ashlyn couldn't suppress her grin.

“It sounds awesome.”

“Then it's settled,” Ali kissed her tenderly. “You're worth fighting for, Captain.”

  
  



	7. Under the moonlight

**Chapter 7: Under the moonlight.**

The nights in the ICU were the most uncomfortable and restless. Because the doctors had caught Ashlyn's brain swelling far too much to be relaxed about it, they kept her in the Intensive Care Unit longer than they had initially wanted, and it proved to be the right call, because about thirty-six hours after being moved there, her headaches worsened drastically as her cranial pressure got higher, and the doctors decided then to put her into extra medication to treat that issue as the surgical fix got ruled out: they didn't want the risk of worsening the state of her head after her previous injury.

Even though Ashlyn's family talked then about staying with her through the night in the ICU, Ali convinced them to let her do nights. For one, she was younger and had some medical training thanks to the Red Cross, so not only did she stand the nights on a chair better, but she could also help the nurses around a little bit. But there was also the fact that Ashlyn didn't sleep so well without her nearby.

And so the night came and, under the moonlight, Ali snuggled in a chair with a blanket wrapped around her because in the ICU there weren't beds for patients' families next to theirs. She watched as Ashlyn tried to get comfortable, mostly out of things due to her heavy medication, and her leg hurt and then her head hurt and then she could only lie face up without hurting herself, but it wasn't her usual position pre attack, so she puffed and finally gave in. And then under the moonlight her expression got troubled and her lips emitted soft whimpers and puffs so Ali came and caressed her face and whispered soft nothings, singing whatever verses would come to mind.

“How did she do?” Uncle Jimbo asked a tired Ali in the early morning, as they stood on the oner side of the glass wall that separated Ashlyn's cubicle from the rest of the ICU, watching the sleeping woman as the nurse revised her wounds, her IV incisions, and checked her evolution.

“I think her brain gave her a bit of a hard time, but she pulled through and got all the sleep. Perhaps a few nightmares,” Ali answered, crossing arms over her chest as she looked attentively to read Ashlyn's face if her expression changed, in case she woke up.

“You must be tired,” said Uncle Jimbo, eyeing her with light blue eyes. “Why don't you go home and have some rest? I can stay.”

“No, I'll stick around, it's okay. Two are allowed at once,” Ali said with a nod. Jimbo looked at her raising an eyebrow, but nodded.

“I don't get it, you've only known her for a couple months, and you're already willing to stick with her through all this crap? I mean, you haven't left her side in days, that sure is curious.”

“When you're out there, friendships grow tighter at a faster speed, I guess,” Ali smiled small, knowing he wasn't bad-intentioned with his comment, but genuinely baffled. “I really do care about her, Jimbo. And I don't have anything else to do anyway. I'm taking this school year off teaching, I don't have any camps planned until January... and Ashlyn needs everyone she can get. Besides, she always says she feels better when I'm here.”

Uncle Jimbo looked even more surprised, but before he could open his mouth, the nurse came out of the cubicle.

“All good,” the nurse smiled kindly at them. “It's normal for her to sleep a lot, so nothing to worry about. The physiotherapist will be here in a couple hours to move her a little.”

“Thank you,” Jimbo and Ali said at once, and soon, both entered Ashlyn's cubicle.

Feeling drawn to her, Ali hurried to her side and carefully moved a strand of hair away from her face, watching her intently as she slept, looking peaceful now. Her head was no longer bandaged, and the bruises and cuts had healed and faded in the few weeks since she had been injured. However, Ali knew there was still some degree of swelling in her brain, some internal bruising in her organs, the burns were still healing under some bandages on her hands, legs and arms. Luckily, her uniform and her helmet had kept her mostly safe from the fire resulting from the collision, but there were still some first and second degree burns that required creams and cleaning every single day.

“Don't hurt her, okay?” Uncle Jimbo murmured all of the sudden. Ali frowned, confused, and looked around to face the man. He stood uneasily by the feet of the bed, one hand on the top of the foot-board, looking intently at her with a light frown.

“Of course not,” said Ali, matter-of-factly. “She's my friend.”

“You wouldn't be the first friend to hurt her,” grumbled Uncle Jimbo. “Look, I'm just saying...” he puffed impatient with his own lack of words, and made up his mind at last. “I love Ash as if she was my very own daughter. The more my sister neglected her and her brother, the more I took them under my wing. I taught them to surf, to skate, to fish... I raised them along my three kids, as if they were two more in the gang, I bought them birthday presents when their own parents couldn't even remember those days, and Christmas presents, of course. I threw them parties and taught them to drive, drink responsibly, gave Christopher condoms... and held them when they cried. Chris might've fallen off the wagon, but I'm sure he'll recover and come back, he's a good kid at heart, a sweet, sensitive one... he doesn't mean wrong, but he never made the right friends. You see, in Satellite back when the kids were teenagers, drugs were really popular amongst them, it was nineties' crazy days, early 20s... people were doing crazy stuff and all of them got into drugs at some point. My five kiddos. And they all realized it wasn't the right thing and got themselves pulled together because they're good people. But poor Chris has lived things none of us has, remembers more from his parents than Ash, he eventually fell back... but he'll come back.”

“You've done a good job, Jimbo.”

“The best I could, with my wife, of course, and the rest of the family. But uhm... not a lot of people get what the Harrises had to go through, you know? Teachers think they know it all, sometimes,” Jimbo puffed and shook his head, looking at his niece. “One time some jerk came to me saying Ash was ADHD. Bullshit. She was just not interested in his Math class. She was never one for science, my girl. But give her arts, even dissecting... she'd focus and excel. We had to stand through the occasional jerk forcing her to see counsellors because she answered to bullies instead of shutting up, and sometimes yes, bullied back, but kids just didn't get it and they gave her a hard time. She never had many friends, and the little she had? Well, they ended up turned their backs on her before high school was even over, when news about Chris' antics and my sister and Curtis' crap came out and then suddenly no one wanted to have anything to do with Ashlyn. All alone in the bloody end. Didn't even attend graduation party, even though she had remarkable grades, 'cause she had no friends to have fun with anymore, did you know?”

“I had no idea,” Ali admitted, saddened. She remembered her own graduation party, when she had been elected Queen.

“That's the problem with small towns, she couldn't have hid her family crap no matter what she did,” Jimbo lamented. “She had her cousins, of course, but... she didn't want to mingle much with them. They have a different surname, so they did have tons of friends and Ash didn't want to interfere and ruin their high school experience. All the true friends she's ever made were in the Air Force, or Liz, her best friend since kindergarten. That girl was always loyal, but she was the only one. Still is, has been calling every day... she works in Australia now, that's why she wasn't here. But she calls daily, several times, to get news. And I've heard Ash is her wingwoman when Liz goes trying to get a boyfriend. They're an odd pair, but a good one.”

“Well I'm not about to betray Ashlyn. I'm not like those high school kids. I was in Philippines and I've been in other war places too. I saw her airship collide. And my brother is a recovered addict and ex-alcoholic, I'm not afraid of a little darkness. I'll put in the light even if I'm the only one she has.” Ali said full of conviction.

Jimbo seemed happy with her answer, and he nodded, looking more relaxed.

“Good,” said Jimbo. “Because I can tell she really cares about you, and if you hurt her, you'll have to answer to me.” Ali smiled softly. “I just threatened you, why that smile?”

“Oh, Jimbo,” Ali fully chuckled. “Ashlyn's so lucky to have you. I'm just happy for that.”

The man smiled small and nodded.

“I've got to help Corey at his shop... I'll be back later. You'll tell her I was here, right?”

“Sure. She'll probably sleep the day off, so don't worry. I'll keep you updated.”

Jimbo nodded and in two long steps he had reached Ashlyn and affectionately kissed her forehead.

“Stay strong lil shark,” Jimbo whispered. “Uncle Jimbo will be back real soon,” he looked up at Ali. “Thank you.”

“It's my pleasure,” Ali reassured him.

As he left, Ali looked down at Ashlyn, wondering how cruel could high school be to people whose only crime had been to belong to the wrong set of parents. Just as she stared at Ashlyn, the captain's eyes flickered open, blinking as she adjusted to the light, and then hazel looked up and found her.

“Hey you,” Ashlyn murmured hoarsely. “What'ya lookin' at?”

“A beauty,” Ali side smiled and leaned to peck her lips gently. “How are you? Any better?”

“Yeah I'm okay... you? You look tired.”

“I'm fine, I was just dying to see you. Did you have sweet dreams?”

“I don't remember... hey Alex, why don't you go home? Sleep a little on a comfy bed? I can't imagine a chair does the trick much...”

“I'm fine, don't worry,” Ali pecked her lips again. “I had a very interesting conversation with your uncle just a moment ago. He just went to help Corey with something.”

“Really? What about?” Ashlyn asked, yawning a little. She didn't completely open her eyes, but she looked attentively at her.

“He was giving me the third degree. Y'know, he suspects there's something going on and wants to give me the classic hurt her and you're dead. He was much nicer though.”

“He's never done that, as far as I know?” Ashlyn was quite surprised.

“Would explain his own nervousness. But he mentioned your high school experience with bullying and friend betrayal...”

“Oh... ugh, he's too talkative sometimes...”

“Good, because I wanted to say...” Ali played with Ashlyn's hand shyly. “I'm not here to hurt you. I'm not scared of your darkness. I'm not going to betray you. And if you ever need anything... I'm your girl. Even if it didn't work between us romantically, I'd always be there.”

A smile appeared in Ashlyn's tired face and she squeezed her hand softly.

“You better know the feeling's mutual. I trust you, Alex.”

“Me too,” Ali grinned and kissed her cheek soundly. “Now, who wants some breakfast before physiotherapy?”

The volunteer went to get the nurse so some breakfast could be brought to Ashlyn, although not much, because her appetite was still low. Ashlyn sat up on her bed leaning against the propelled-up head of the bed and limited herself to eating a little bit under Ali's attentive gaze, knowing that the brunette wasn't going to ever take her vigilant eyes off her. While a nurse helped Ashlyn brush her teeth with a little container, Ali went to grab a sandwich from the vending machine and a can of soda, which she consumed while Ashlyn rested in bed, watching her with gentle eyes. At last, Ali finished, and Ashlyn stretched a hand towards her.

“Kiss me? I brushed my teeth and all...”

Ali grinned, leaning forward.

“I didn't, but it was mayonnaise, meat, lettuce and tomato.” Ashlyn chuckled.

“Tasty,” the captain pulled her close to kiss her, wrapping a strong arm around her. Ali chuckled against her lips, loving how, whenever they separated to breathe, Ashlyn's face seemed to have more colour and her eyes seemed fuller with life. To think that it was because of her comforted her incredibly. “Hey, Alex...” she took Ali's hand between her big ones as they finally separated with swollen lips. “I wanted to talk to you about something...”

“Anything.”

“Look, if...” Ashlyn shrugged. “If something went wrong again, if I wasn't so lucky again and... it went downhill and... I'd ended up buried next to my Grandpa...”

  
  


  
  



	8. My good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,  
> I am updating some stories now, I'll slowly update more and more the next few days. I'm very sorry for the delay, I've just been writing stuff, relaxing, reconnecting with my mother as I didn't live in my hometown since last Autumn, and well, with myself.  
> So first things first, thanks everyone for all your comments and support, always. I think I've responded all comments and also I've been talking with some of you in my Tumblr Jantebellum, which has been really nice so if you've never left a comment or chatted with me in Tumblr come say hi, I don't bite :) also I wanted to invite you all to read this post I wrote https://jantebellum.tumblr.com/post/616297711696822272/my-take-on-ao3-and-fanfics it's a bit long but in it I'm talking about my writing process with fanfics, about my beliefs in fanfiction and about Archive of our Own, so you might find it interesting. And I know you're shy and I'm shy but PLEASE hit me up with any sort of conversation. Now that we're all so isolated, I really want to reach out to all of you, make sure you're all doing okay, bring my support and encouragement to you and hey, it's going to be okay, uh? This is just those dramatic ten chapters I always write but remember, the story always ends okay, even when you think there's no way. And if you feel lonely or anything, I'm here.  
> Much love everyone.  
> J.

**Chapter 8: My good luck.**

“Ashlyn, let's not—,”

“Please,” the captain interrupted. “I need to do this,” Ali looked at her and nodded, conceding. “I just want to know you'll be okay. I mean, I know is not like we've been best friends for a decade, it's not like your life would change so much, but... I know sometimes losing things make us stop wanting to have them, and... I wouldn't want you to stop doing any of the awesome things you do just because they remind you of what you lost. Like... going back to those kids in Philippines, if you wanted. You have so much potential, and the world should see all you've got to give.”

“You know it'd really hurt, right? To lose you,” Ali said to her. “I'd be heartbroken. But I know the answer's not to stop living, so... I'd go on. For you.” Ashlyn managed a small smile and nodded, satisfied. “And I'd keep in touch with your people.”

“You don't have to—,”

“I want to. I'd visit Chris in prison and try to help him when he gets out,” continued Ali, “and I'd check on your grandparents and try to help where I could. I'd look after them, as much as I could.”

She knew Ashlyn worried about that part too. That she didn't want her family to hurt and miss her for too long. Relief filled Ashlyn's eyes and she looked at her intensely, almost with surprise.

“I knew you were special,” said Ashlyn at last. “Thank you.” Ali shrugged off.

“It's the least I could do. Ashlyn, how is it so...? well, it seems like it's easy for you to think of dying. Like, you even know where you'd like to be buried.”

“Comes with the job,” said the captain. “You have to be ready to die. And the best way of being ready to die is living every minute like the last. If you care about someone, you say so. If you want to parachute... you do so. If you want to adopt a snake, you adopt it.”

“Please tell me you don't own a snake.” Ashlyn snorted a laugh and shook her head.

“No,” Ashlyn answered, “I actually hate them. Hey, do you know if anybody kept the things I had on when I had the attack?”

“You didn't have anything except your clothes?” Ali frowned in deep thought. “I think they threw away your trousers... and the rest was quite burn.”

“Shit,” Ashlyn puffed. “I had something in my chest pocket... my good luck amulet. My grandpa, between coming from the war and dying, gave it to my uncle when he enlisted, and then my uncle gave it to me when I joined the Air Force, and I've had it with me since. It was his own good luck amulet when he served, it's been in World War II and all... can't believe I lost it.”

Ali squeezed her brains trying to think where could her work shirt be, hoping the amulet hadn't fallen off the pocket... and then suddenly she realized she had it.

“Oh my God, I completely forgot! _I_ have your jacket! What's left of it, at least.”

“Do you?” Ashlyn asked, her face enlightening with hope.

“When they rescued you, everything happened so fast and it was such a mess that it passed in a blur and I had completely forgotten... but I remember now that they were short on personnel so, since we have some medical training, a few of us Red Cross volunteers chimed in to help out,” Ali explained. “One of the military doctors was struggling to take off your clothes, because of the burnt areas glued to your skin, so I helped him and when I took your jacket off and the doctors could finally have space to work, I wasn't needed anymore but I still had your jacket in my hands. So, I took it to my tent and put it in my backpack, thinking it'd be the last I'd have of you, because you were pretty much dead...” she sighed, shaking the thought away. “It must be there still, I sure haven't taken it out.”

“Oh, Ali, you're my saviour!” Ashlyn grinned. “Would you please go fetch it for me? Look in the pocket, see if the amulet is still there... if it is, take it, it's yours. I wanted to give it to you.”

Ali looked at her feeling both touched and surprised. If that amulet was so special, why was Ashlyn giving it to her?

“All right, are you sure? I'll have to leave you alone.”

“Don't worry,” Ashlyn said, confident. “I'll take a nap. You find us my amulet, please.” Ali gave her a quick peck on the lips.

“All right, I'll be right back.”

Ali grabbed her purse and walked away from the ICU at fast speed, not wanting to take too long. She continued walking quickly to the lift, pressing the silver button to be taken to the underground parking lot, and rushed to her car, throwing her purse to the copilot seat before driving away to her small flat. There, she rushed through her bedroom to find the old backpack with some of her stuff from Philippines. She pulled out a cap, some shoes in a plastic bag and, getting her hand in the depths of the back, she finally felt a soft cloth that was the jacket Ashlyn had been wearing below her uniform jacket.

With a victorious shout, she sat on the verge of her bed and went through the blood-stained, dirty garment. The pockets on the chests were closed, and she opened one, finding it empty, but when she opened the second one, she grinned upon feeling something inside with her fingers. Getting her fingers on a chain, she pulled up to pull it out and saw a silver chain from which a small silver shark hung. Smiling, Ali checked the shark up close and saw some words engraved on the belly of it: _Integrity first, service before self, excellence in all we do_. She recognized it as the Air Force motto, but didn't understand why the shape was a shark. Below it, the Special Operations Command, to which Ashlyn, but not her relatives, belonged, had its own motto engraved as well: _Any place, any time, anywhere._

Ashlyn beamed when she saw her come back into her room victoriously holding the necklace from a hand.

“You found it!” Ashlyn couldn't help her excitement as she held the shark.

“It was right where you left it,” Ali pressed her lips soundly against her cheek, happy to make Ashlyn happy. “So why a shark?”

“Oh, that's a story,” Ashlyn seemed so happy by the finding that she looked to be in better health. “When Colonel James Habovick was younger, before the war, he was a surfer in Satellite Beach, just like any of us. One time, he was holidaying in California, and while surfing, he encountered a great white shark. He was scared shitless,” she continued, amused, “but he was alone so he could only lie on the surfboard and wait until the shark left. And as the shark hung around for a long time, Grandpa started to get used to it and stopped being so afraid. He understood that shark was in his home and that Grandpa had intruded in it, and ought to respect it, and he decided to observe it and learn from it. He went from fear to fascination, became a huge fan of sharks and shark week since... he realized they had a lot in common. The shark was swimming around protecting their family in their home... just like Grandpa would do. And it taught Grandpa a valuable lesson about how sometimes we're only afraid because we don't know, afraid of the unknown, and that if only we were better educated, we wouldn't reject others, people and animals, who we judge as dangerous, when they're just like us inside, despite their outside differences. And if that wasn't enough for Grandpa to feel super close to sharks, which he passed on to his son and myself... when he finally returned to the coast he found out that he had missed the train he planned to take that day because of her shark encounter, and that if the shark hadn't entertained him, he would have taken the train, one which had a big accident after derailing, with twenty-three casualties.”

“Oh my God!”

“Right? Grandpa started to say that shark saved his life, that it was his lucky charm, his amulet. Shortly after he found this in a market and had to buy it and get it engraved before going on his first deployment, convinced that if he had it with himself, he would come back. And he did. And when Uncle Jimbo joined years later, he passed it on to his son for good luck. Uncle Jimbo also came back, and then he passed it to me... and look,” Ashlyn smiled at her. “I'm still alive despite the odds. And now it's yours. It'll always keep you safe.” She promised, putting it on Ali's palm.

Touched, Ali looked down at the shark on her palm and chuckled, putting it on around her neck. She instantly felt safer, like Ashlyn was with her, keeping her safe no matter what.

“Ashlyn, thank you, it's a beautiful gesture... but are you sure? You could still use it.”

“Nah,” Ashlyn leaned back, relaxing against her pillows, “your safety means more to me. And since now I can't be your flying superhero watching over you... I had to make sure you had something just as good. If you're safe, I can sleep at night.”

“You're the sweetest, you know?” Ali sat on the verge of her bed, caressing her cheek gently. “Won't your family mind?”

“No,” said Ashlyn. “Uncle Jimbo always said that it ought to go always to someone we really cared about, or else it'd lose its charm. But he didn't give it to my cousins because they didn't need it, they had so many people around... and I'm sure he'd like it to be yours. That way, next time you go abroad on some ridiculously brave, kind-hearted voluntary service, you'll have us right with you.”

There was a knock on the door and Ali stood up, turning to see the physiotherapist come in.

“Hi, ready?” the guy smiled at Ashlyn, who nodded.

“Okay, I'll head to the gardens in the meantime,” Ali leaned to give her a quick peck on the lips. “Be good.”

“Will be,” Ashlyn squeezed her hand. “Have fun!”

As Ali left her side and went outside the ICU, she almost collided with Abby Wambach, who was accompanied by some girls Ali didn't know. The short-haired blonde stopped right in her tracks to avoid the collision and grinned at Ali in surprise, bringing her into a hug.

“Ali! I was hoping to see you here, how's it going?”

“Pretty well,” Ali liked Ashlyn's friends already. She had a few friends in Florida herself, and found that Ashlyn's friends weren't too different. They were the kind of people that made you feel like old friends from the start. “You? What are you doing here?”

“Well, I'm good, just hoping to get some news on Ashlyn. Corey told me you'd probably be here and able to tell us the news. Oh, I'm so impolite, sorry... Ali, this is Pinoe,” she pointed towards another short-haired blonde who smiled big at her with perfect teeth and dark eyes.

“Nice to meet you,” said the new woman, shaking her hand.

“And this is Whitney,” Abby pointed at a tall woman with long, dark blonde hair and a sweet expression, and Ali shook her hand exchanging smiles, “and Alex. All good friends of Ashlyn,” Abby explained, finally pointing to a blue-eyed, beautiful woman with long brown hair and quite the sexy appearance. Ali shook her hand as well, all smiling friendly.

“So great to finally meet you, I've heard some good stories,” Ali commented with a welcoming smile. “Well, Ashlyn is busy right now with the physiotherapist who helps with her stretches and minor exercises to keep her body going, but we can go to the cafeteria, have a drink. It'll be at least forty minutes.”

“Then it's settled, let's all go hang out!” declared Pinoe with enthusiasm, and led the way a few corridors away to the nice, big cafeteria the hospital had. While the doctors occupied some tables in the reserved for them section, the five women walked over to a table by the corner and soon had beer and coffee on the table.

“So how's Ash holding-up? We were pretty worried when Jimbo said she had worsened and was back in the ICU,” Whitney asked Ali as they nursed their drinks.

Ali proceeded to give them a full update, telling them how she wasn't so bad but mostly delicate with her brain, how the swelling was already better, the leg was healing nicely and the burns were on their way to improving as well.

“She must be so sick of the hospital already, always hated them,” Alex commented once Ali was over. “How long has it been, a month?”

“A few hours at the base camp in Philippines, then about a week and a half between Osaka, Los Angeles and Austin, over a week and a half here...” Ali explained. “Not a month yet. But yes, she's dying to be discharged, although she also appreciates not having to move too much yet and having the nurses do so much for her. She knows she's in a bad shape right now. So how long have you guys known Ashlyn?”

“Abby and I were with Ashlyn in the Air Force,” Pinoe explained. “I left three years ago, I was a little sick of it. Now I live in NYC with my girlfriend Sue, who's a professional baseball player. I do fashion design now.”

“Cool!” said Ali. “Sue... you mean Sue Bird? Of the New York Liberty, three time NWBA champions?”

“Woah, you know about basketball?” Pinoe grinned. “Yeah, that's my girl!”

“My parents are big sports fans, I followed everything growing up, played some basketball too. Woah, you're with Sue Bird...” Ali looked at her in awe. “Incredible.”

“Well you're a two-time World Champion and an Olympian,” Pinoe pointed out. “We were dying to meet you, we're fans.”

“We're basically fans of anyone who can be a badass woman,” Whitney added. “I actually dated Christopher, back in the day... and became besties with Ashlyn through that, in our late teens. But we've remained close despite her deployments.”

“Oh, so you're not in the Air Force?” inquired Ali, curious.

“No, I'm her lawyer actually,” Whitney chuckled. “Not that she ever needs me, but I do try to keep Christopher out of trouble when possible.”

“And I played soccer with Ashlyn when we were kids,” said Alex Morgan. “My family moved to Florida from LA, and she took me under her wing and showed me around, because I'm a couple years younger. We never coincided in school, but we'd go together to play football all through our teens, surfed together constantly, and remained close friends through the years. I did political economy, but I actually no longer work in that field, I'm modelling.”

“Woah,” Ali looked at her in admiration. “That's really... why does Ashlyn have such cool friends? How does that happen?” Abby snorted a laugh.

“She's a cool person,” Pinoe said, deeply amused. “Attracts cool people.”

“Let's cut straight to the point,” said Whitney, leaning forward over the table towards Ali. “Are you Ash's girlfriend?”

Automatically, Ali blushed hard to her ears. She stumbled with her words, blushed harder in nervousness, and finally bit her lip, gathering her thoughts, while the women looked deeply amused with the situation.

“No,” replied Ali, sincere, “not yet at least. But we sort of... have a thing. Didn't really have much time to go forward because of her current situation, but we're planning dates for whenever she's discharged and...” she rambled on. “We care about each other deeply, and I'm here, right? And I'm not going anywhere. She's special to me.”

Ashlyn's friends exchanged looks as they seemingly tried to decide without words whether Ali was good enough for their friend or not, but at last they smiled a little and nodded, looking at Ali quite satisfied. Maybe she'd be enough for now.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's anything in particular you'd like to read about, I always accept suggestions and petitions, by the way. I'm always writing, and ideas are always welcomed.


	9. Support group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://jantebellum.tumblr.com/post/616566533139873792/thank-you

**Chapter 9: Support group.**

After being closely monitored during the afternoon, by the time the evening came the doctors were pretty certain that Ashlyn's state had improved greatly, and by the next day at noon, she was moved back into her own room in the neurosurgery ward, where she could have visitors regularly again without a strict limitation. So Ashlyn's friends and some family wasted no time to crowd her room, and Ashlyn took the opportunity to convince Ali to go back to her room, shower, sleep on a comfortable bed, eat properly.

“I'll be fine, and you need to sit somewhere other than a hospital chair for a couple hours,” Ashlyn told Ali, hugging her before Ali left.

“Okay, but you call me if you need anything,” Ali pressed her lips against her dimpled cheek. “And don't overdo yourself.”

“I know,” they shared a meaningful smile, the little silver shark hanging from Ali's neck like a little reminder of their recent closeness. “Go get your beauty sleep.” Ali winked at her and smiled, grabbing her purse and turning around.

“See you all later!” Ali waved at the others, blew a kiss to Ashlyn, and left. The captain stared at the door with a silly smile still in her face, totally whipped. When Ali was around, she didn't feel like something broken or incomplete, but like she could actually run.

Uncle Jimbo cleared his throat to get her out of her daze.

“So you and Ali seem very close,” Uncle Jimbo commented casually. “And she's wearing the amulet. Is there anything you want to tell us?”

Thinking about saying it or not, Ashlyn bit her lip lightly and then smirked smugly. Even though her stump was on a bunch of pillows, she hadn't slept well, and she was still in a bed, with cables and all, she felt in a particular good mood.

“I really, really am fond of her,” Ashlyn stated, not shy at all. “She's beautiful, not to mention a really funny, incredibly kind person. I was going to ask her out in Philippines, but circumstances changed and things happened, so I had no other option but to tell her after the attack and... turns out she feels similarly about me, so,” she shrugged. “We'll get something nice going on, when I'm out of here. But in the meantime, we make the most of what we can have.”

Abby whistled in admiration.

“Girl you don't lose a second!”

“And you gave her the amulet?” Ashlyn's longtime friend, Liz, who had just arrived from Australia, inquired. She was less fit than Ashlyn's other, more athletic friends, but had a face full of sweetness and kindness, a contagious smile, and a low brown bun. “But you barely even know her!”

“I met her almost three months ago, actually,” said Ashlyn. “And you'd be surprised by the amount of hours we've spent together, just talking. There isn't much to do in Philippines, as a matter of fact. We've gotten to know each other pretty well, things there develop with more speed and intensity, Liz. But in any case, I'd want her to have the amulet even if we didn't work out. We had an ongoing thing in Philippines where she'd go take care of children with the Red Cross, and I'd describe her whichever aircraft I was to fly that day, so she'd look up and see me, and she'd always know it was safe, that I was looking from the sky. Now I can't do that anymore, and I wanted for her to have my lucky amulet. Kept me alive, and it'll keep her alive when she goes on more volunteering things without me.”

“Aww always the romantic,” Tobin commented with a chuckle. “So you really trust the girl, uh?”

“With my life. Christen's known her for years,” Ashlyn told the others. “She'll tell you I'm not making a mistake.”

“Right, although maybe slow down a little?” Christen looked happily at her, excited for her friends. “Although I do know Ali's excited. And a good woman.”

“Okay then,” Jimbo shrugged. “She does seem quite the angel, and she's taking very good care of you.”

“Which reminds me...” Ashlyn turned to look at Abby. “Abby, you never demanded someone would accompany me after I got injured, right?”

“Me?” Abby frowned. “I mean, aside from military support for security... who was I going to send?”

“Ali?”

“No,” Abby replied. “No, Ali came to me and demanded I'd allow her to tag along with you. She wasn't taking a no for an answer.”

Ashlyn grinned from ear to ear. Ali was a terrible liar and she had long suspected that the story wasn't exactly how she made it sound. After all, she knew the military protocols.

“I knew it,” she said victorious. “Woman told me you wanted for a friend to tag along with me so I'd have some comfort, and she offered.” Abby snorted a laugh.

“Yeah no, she made me let her go. She was on the brink of a hysterical breakdown, if I may add. It was obvious she really, really cared, she yelled at me that I couldn't possibly have you wake up alone and in pain somewhere unknown with no friends near.”

“She yelled at a Major?” Alex repeated with astonishment, and Abby nodded. Corey and Jimbo laughed.

“The woman is fearless!” Abby added. “She didn't give a shit who I was.”

“God I'm liking that girl more and more...” commented Jimbo.

A soft groan escaped Ali's lips as her eyes opened, blinking to get used to the light. She closed them again briefly as her toes wiggled and she started unclenching her hands, stretching under the thin white sheets and rolling around. Again, she blinked awake, this time exhaling deeply, and stared at the white ceiling as she came to her senses. Slowly, she remembered coming home hours before, having a long, warm bubble bath followed by a brief shower to rinse out, then she had gotten into bed...

Her stomach grumbled and she turned to check the alarm clock on the bedside table. 9 AM appeared in neon blue and she stared motionless for a moment as her brain, slowed in the morning haze, assimilated the information. As soon as it was processed, her brown eyes widened, her thin black eyebrows flew to her hairline, and she jumped out of bed.

“Oh no!” she gasped. “No, no, no!” Ali threw a hand to her mobile on the bedside table, sitting up in bed, and saw she had a couple missed calls from Ashlyn from the night before, and then from Christen. She went through unread texts to see a few from Ashlyn.

' _18:36 – Ashlyn: Hey, how's it going? Hope you're having fun, miss you already ;-)_ '

' _19:23 – Ashlyn: Hiii! You there? Fam is heading out at eight after I have dinner, we could make-out a lil before bedtime..._ '

' _19:40 – Ashlyn: OK so you've totally fallen asleep. That's good Princess, these chairs really look awful to sleep in, so sweet dreams! You deserve a good you time, a hot bath and a good dinner, none of these shitty hospital sandwiches (they taste good on your mouth, but I'm sure it's just because of the lips seasoning)._ '

' _20:30 – Ashlyn: About to fall asleep, thinking of you to get the best dreams... see you in Morpheo's world! <3_'

“Crap,” Ali told herself. “I should've been there... I should've...” she had quickly pressed the contact 'Ashlyn Harris' to phone her, and brought the phone to her ear, hoping not to wake the captain up. After a few seconds, Ashlyn answered.

“Good morning gorg,” Ashlyn's tone sounded amused, more than with resentment, and Ali sighed in relief. “Sweet dreams?”

“Oh my God Ashlyn, I passed out like you wouldn't believe, didn't even eat... I'm so sorry I wasn't there last night.”

“Hey, it's all right. Feeling better now?”

“Yes, like a new person.”

“Well that's important! No hurries OK? I'm chilling with some friends here, so don't worry about me. You eat, have all the time you want for yourself, and whenever you feel like hanging around here, I'm not going anywhere. It was about time you had some time for yourself.”

“Okay, I'll be there in an hour or so. Thank you, sweetie.”

“Bah, no problem. Take care, Princess.”

“You too, see you in a bit. Want me to bring anything?”

“Uh...” Ashlyn thought for a few moments. “Can you check if in my Philippines suitcase there are any clean pyjamas I may use? Doctor gave me the green light to get out of the hospital gown and I'm dying for some... pants. Underwear will do if there aren't, I'm not sure how clean my stuff is...”

“Okay, well, I could go to your flat if not, or buy you something.”

“Don't bother too much for me. See you in a bit then!”

“See you!”

Ali hung out and stood out of bed, stretching with a groan. She had fallen asleep in her pyjamas at least. She walked over to her built-in closet and found Ashlyn's suitcase, opening it on her floor. She smiled to herself recognizing some shoes and some clothes, although Ashlyn had rarely worn anything but her uniform. As a captain, she had people to boss around and without her uniform they didn't respect her so much.

Feeling a knot in her throat, she caught sight of Ashlyn's camouflage jacket. Green and brown, it was the jacket Ashlyn had worn most of the time. It was made of nylon-cotton blend, which made it soft, and it was a little dirty. On the chest, Ali could read 'Capt. Harris', and she felt her heart accelerate for no reason as she hugged the jacket close. How often had Ashlyn used it to protect Ali from the infamous rains of the Philippines? She had learnt to associate it with comfort and protection, and this didn't change despite the few bloody burnt holes the thin jacket had.

Ali decided to throw the garment in the washing machine and returned to find some pyjamas. She blushed as she touched sport bras, panties and women boxers, and finally found a few short-sleeved t-shirts that seemed to be pyjama ones, and some shorts. She figured this would be appropriate for the hospital. As she packed a hospital bag for Ashlyn, got dressed, brushed her hair, and did her make-up after having enjoyed a good breakfast, her doorbell suddenly rang.

“Coming!” Ali rushed to her door and looked through the peep-hole, grinning at the sight. “Kyle!”

She yanked the door open and jumped on the arms of her big brother Kyle, who laughed as he lifted her up in a tight hug. Ali's nostrils filled with the masculine perfume and she buried her face in his neck, enjoying his company.

“Hi Princess!” Kyle beamed at her, his brown eyes fixed on hers, his dark beard mirroring the one their father had had in his youth. “How are you?!”

“I'm great! You? What are you doing here? Oh this is so great! Did Mum come too?”

“She has classes to handle, but I had to welcome my sister home, since she's not coming on her own! Still entangled in that military business?” Ali had told her brother -to whom she told everything- all about Ashlyn and what had happened, preventing her from flying straight to Miami. He winked at her knowingly, already supporting a romance with Ashlyn.

“I'm so happy you're here. I'm... yes, Ashlyn's just going up and down, but it seems she's steadily OK now, asked me to bring some pyjamas she's now allowed to wear, apparently. Leave your things inside and come with me, so I can introduce you!”

“All right,” Kyle grinned, kissing her cheek. “It's great to see you, sis.”

“You too,” Ali beamed, following him inside.

Half an hour later, they were in Ali's car while Ali told Kyle all about Ashlyn's family and friends, so he knew who was who if they were around. At the hospital hall, the nurse in the entry desk recognized her and called her over to let her know Ashlyn had been moved to a better room, so Ali chuckled in happiness as they got in the lift.

When they approached Ashlyn's new room, they heard the murmur of chatting inside and Ali knocked before opening the door.

“Hi!” Ali beamed at Ashlyn, who sat up in her bed chatting with some family and friends. The captain turned to her and grinned. Her head bandage, gone, let a long braid be seen instead, and Ali thought it only made her more cute. “I've got a surprise! This is my brother Kyle.”

“Hi,” Ashlyn grinned at them both. “Nice to finally meet you Kyle, your sister speaks wonders of you.”

“I could say the same,” Kyle shook her hand.

As introductions were made, Ali kissed Ashlyn softly and caressed her hair.

“You look incredible,” Ashlyn murmured, blushing.

“So do you,” Ali kissed her again. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better. Did you find my pyjamas?”

“Yes, by the way, why the room update?”

“Oh, they were running out of rooms in that ward, and I could be moved to other easier than other patients,” Ashlyn shrugged. “They needed the bed, it's fine, this one's cooler, and closer to the cafeteria, I've heard. By the way, my family knows about us, so...” she winked. “We can kiss more often without eyebrows raised.”

“Awesome,” Ali kissed her once more. “I missed you.”

  
  



	10. A purple heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request of krashlyn fanfics or ideas are accepted ;D I've written all my stories and i miss writing and i'm empty of inspiration with this covid shit

**Chapter 10: A purple heart.**

Now, Ashlyn could move around in a wheelchair, so she went to the bathroom to change with a nurse's help and when she returned, Uncle Jimbo arrived with coffee for everyone and juice for Ashlyn, who wasn't allowed coffee, and they all sat to chat and get to know each other better. The new room had a corner sofa near the bed and a few chairs, so it was more comfortable for everyone. After a long while, Ashlyn's mobile rang and she stretched to grab it from an auxiliary table by the bed.

“Captain Harris,” she said into the phone automatically. Her eyes widened. “Mrs President! Hi, good morning,” she nervously added. Upon hearing the word 'President', the others stopped talking and looked with curiosity, sitting quietly to avoid bothering. Ashlyn sat straighter, wearing a loose short-sleeved t-shirt that left her muscled, tattooed arms, visible. She was connected to an IV in her arm and a couple machines through chest patches underneath her t-shirt, but nothing more. “Well, Ma'am, it was nothing heroic, I assure you. I was simply ordered to make sure a ship with civilians arrived to safe territory without problem, and on my way back a Jihad aircraft saw me and crashed with me before I could avoid it. I don't even really remember it, Ma'am,” Ashlyn was explaining the President, Michelle Obama. “I probably did something stupid, and that's why I never saw the aircraft on time. I detected it following me with too little time to react... Oh, well, I requested permission to attack, Ma'am, but the crash happened right as it was granted, and I didn't have enough time. I wasn't about to attack without permission, Ma'am,” luckily, Ashlyn had already talked with Abby about what had happened, to refresh the memory. “Yes, Ma'am. Ali Krieger?” she locked eyes with Ali, who looked surprised, hearing her own name. “She's a Red Cross volunteer, Ma'am. Was in the Philippines helping take care of the civilian children we rescued, and was only in the jungle because the Red Cross was overwhelmed with chores and... okay... well, yes, of course I went for her, she should've been offered protection by a soldier from the start, it's the protocol, as far as I know? I did my job and... well, I descended the aircraft in a clear area. A helicopter, Mrs President. Yes, I piloted a helicopter to the jungle to rescue Ali, yes, and like I said, it shouldn't have been necessary, it was a failure on our part... all right. What? No, no,” Ashlyn shook her head, frowning and looking down at her lap. Ali observed full of curiosity. She had commented to Abby what had happened in the jungle, but she didn't imagine Abby would tell the President for any reason. “With all due respect, Mrs President, I can't accept any of that. All I've done was just part of my job, routine tasks everyone does, nothing else. There's nothing heroic beyond the pure act of being an Airwoman... All right. Okay, I see... well in that case, thank you very much, Mrs President. Yes, I'll be fine, takes more than a crash to sink me,” she smirked small, “talk to you soon then, Mrs President. Thanks again, bye.”

“Well?” Ali asked as soon as Ashlyn put her phone away. “What was that about?”

“Was that the President, honey?” Uncle Jimbo asked with excitement.

Ashlyn looked hazed, and for a moment Ali worried her head was wrong again.

“Yes it was,” the captain replied at last, after a couple moments. “She wanted to personally inquire about whatever actions I did in the Philippines and check on my health status.”

“That's nice of her,” Ashlyn's friend Liz commented.

“Yes,” Ashlyn nodded, still looking a little absent.

“What did I have to do with any of that?” inquired Ali, reaching to grab her hand.

“She had heard about how I rescued you one-handedly in the jungle that one time,” answered Ashlyn. “And about the attack that left me amputated. Won't you happen to know something of that?” she added, raising an eyebrow towards Abby and looking serious.

The Major pursed her lips in thought and shrugged.

“I told some stuff to the bosses, obviously, nothing new. I guess they must have spoken to the President. It's normal at times when odd attacks happen. The fighter you crashed with was coming to the base camp, and I bet my ass they didn't have ammunition to defend against another fighter, because of our attacks to the Jihad, and only had perhaps some grenades to attack the camp, and I bet they saw you, thought you were coming straight after them, and decided to just crash with you and at least end you 'cause they had nothing else. It wouldn't be the first suicidal attack of the Jihad. But the President had nothing wrong to say, right?”

“No,” Ashlyn admitted, “quite the opposite actually. She's giving me a few decorations. In a few months, of course, when I'm ready for a trip to DC.”

“But that's amazing!” Ali said, baffled by her nule enthusiasm, and the others gestured nods of agreement.

“What decorations? Something real fancy?” asked Corey.

“For starters, the Purple Heart,” replied Ashlyn, monotone, “awarded to service people who were injured or killed during duty. Then, President Obama had apparently gone through my military records and my many missions in different countries of the Operation Enduring Freedom against terrorism, and she figured I deserved the Good Conduct Medal, because she and the other Air Force big guys decided I have a flawless record and too many actions of honour and whatever, including the Ali thing. And in case that wasn't enough, they're also giving me the Air Force Combat Action Medal, because they consider that I apparently was some sort of hero for apparently deciding air support wasn't going to come fast enough and attacking the other airship before they could harm the base, risking my neck big time just to save the base. But wait, there's more,” Ashlyn snorted bitterly, shaking her head. “I'm getting the Air Force Overseas Long Tour Service Ribbon, one more for the collection anyway, because they give those away when one completes long tours overseas.”

“That's so cool,” said Kyle, impressed.

“Oh, I'm so proud!” beamed Uncle Jimbo, but Ali noticed right away Ashlyn seemed even mad about it.

“As we all are,” Ali affirmed. “What's wrong about it, Ash?”

“Well, it's not wrong, it's just...” Ashlyn sighed. “I don't have enough merits to really deserve them, and if they start giving them away like candy, they lose their meaning, you know? I find it really stupid and absurd that they all agreed to give them to me, but the President was too stubborn to attend to reason.”

“You don't have enough merits?” Pinoe almost laughed. “You're kidding, right?”

“Yeah, I'd personally recommend you to get those awards!” added Abby. “I bet they emailed me or something...”

“Exactly, no one deserves them more,” said Liz matter-of-factly. “You should be proud of yourself, Ash.”

“Okay number one, the Purple Heart, seriously?” Ashlyn puffed in exasperation. “We all get injured some way every once in a while in the military, it is war after all! I've done nothing special, nothing heroic, or brave... the whole story is being completely twisted to make me look great and justify those medals for the honour of the Air Force and for them to brag, but I wasn't doing anything heroic or brave. I wasn't pursuing the enemy, I crashed against it by accident.”

“I thought you said you didn't remember it?” inquired Whitney, and Ashlyn shrugged.

“I remember bits, I dream with bits of it and some parts have half clarified over time... look, Abby showed me the recordings of the conversation I had through the aircraft radio, I was informing I was being followed, _I_ brought in the danger, okay? They tailed me without me noticing, because I was distracted. And I requested permission to attack, but not support because as a Captain, I should be able to handle one little fighter on my own. One that didn't even have ammunition against me, it's just incredible I missed it so stupidly. I was ordered to make sure they didn't detect the base camp, that was it, and I'm not sure I did it, I almost guided them to it. And if they crashed against me was because I reacted late and poorly, and didn't show any dexterity as a pilot, that's not to be proud of, it's embarrassing,” Ashlyn puffed, leaning back against her pillow and shaking her head in disapproval. “I'm being given the Purple Heart, a merit award traditionally given to fucking war heroes, for being a poor unskilled pilot and getting myself amputated. For losing _a foot_. The Long Tour Service Ribbon when I didn't even get to finish up to my last day of tour, the Good Conduct Medal when all I've ever done it's the standard expected of a soldier, sailor, or airwoman, nothing special, nothing out of... I was paid for every single thing I did! I wasn't some Superman or anything, it was just my job, it's like awarding a doctor for saving lives. And the Air Force Combat Action Medal? That's bullshit. They twisted the whole story, if you know the real one there's no way I deserved it. I endangered my base, I endangered thousands of civilians, I fucked up big time because I was distracted. I didn't even request air support ever. I had one simple mission and I failed it, I don't deserve a reward for that, I wasn't some hero going out taking one for the team and risking my neck to save the base, I was just trying to fix my own huge mistake, that was it, and I couldn't even do it, but sure, let them twist things to make it look cool. It's just...” she puffed angrily. “The powerful bosses always dying for a celebration and a chance to brag about the noble Americans in the military. I sucked big time. I don't fucking deserve any award.”

After her ramble, they fell into silence, not knowing what to tell her, and some of Ashlyn's friends looked at Ali as if saying 'your duty'. Ali sighed and stood up, walking over to the captain and sitting on the verge of the bed beside her, leaning back against the pillows too. Ashlyn lifted her eyes at her for a moment and she smiled small.

“I think you should focus on your recovery, forget about the awards, and when you're okay, you can go and tell up to your last boss and the President herself your version and how you see it. You have other decorations you accepted because you felt worthy of them and proud of them, and if you can't do the same now, you should be honest with them, but only when you have the strength for such things. And if they insist on giving them to you then,” Ali shrugged. “Try to find another reason you deserve them. I'm sure in about a decade of service, there must be a ton, right? Moments you deserved them and didn't get them. And then once it all passes, you can always go and tell the truth online or whatever.”

Ashlyn looked like a pouting dog who wants food but not what's in the plate.

“M'kay,” she agreed at last, wrapped around Ali's finger. “But do I get a kiss?” Ali snorted a laugh.

“'Course,” she leaned forward and kissed the captain softly. “My Purple Heart...” Ali shook her head in amusement, and kissed her again.

When Ashlyn's visitors eventually left, promising to come back in the evening, and Ali was left alone with Ashlyn, she resumed her previous position on the bed with her and caressed the long blonde hair as Ashlyn leaned against her shoulder, resting peacefully.

“So you're feeling better?” Ali whispered, pressing her lips against the top of Ashlyn's head.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn replied. “My leg hurts now and then, and I'm still assimilating the amputation mentally, but... my head's feeling clearer and the burns are healing well. The doctor actually mentioned earlier today that perhaps I could be discharged next week.”

“That's great! Are you going back to your flat?”

“Probably, yeah. I guess it'll be easier for me to move around somewhere I know well.”

“Yes, and we can all pass by whenever you need aid.”

“I'd like that. Especially if you pass by.”

They held each other's gaze for a moment, and Ali felt her face get warm.

“So...” Ali shrugged. “Will you go on a date with me then? When you're discharged.”

“I'd love to,” Ashlyn beamed despite her tiredness. “What are we going to do?”

“I don't know. A romantic dinner, a beach picnic... we definitely won't go dancing,” Ali added jokingly, and Ashlyn snorted a laugh.

“Anything with you would be perfect. Even skating,” Ashlyn continued the joke. “I'll bring the flowers.”

“I'll bring the wine.” They smiled at each other and Ashlyn moved to kiss her softly. None of them was in a rush as their lips pressed together, a warmth expanding from their joined lips to their own insides, enveloping them from inside out.

  
  



	11. Just right

**Chapter 11: Just right.**

“No...” a whimper escaped Ashlyn's lips. “Please... no...”

“Ashlyn?” Ali's head pocked from the entry to Ashlyn's kitchen, glancing down at the sleeping blonde on the sofa. She had only just been discharged the night before, on time for Thanksgiving, and Ali had stuck around to help her get by without a foot.

“Bastard...” Ashlyn frowned and shook her head to another side. “Ugh...” she breathed hard in her sleep, Ali already walking closer. “No...”

“Ash,” Ali leaned over her, caressing her sweaty hair. “Sweetie, get up, it's just a nightmare.”

The captain puffed, looking distressed in her dreams, and Ali shook her shoulders gently until her hazel eyes opened and she let out a long groan, a hand instantly flying to her left leg as a throaty whimper of pain escaped her lips and she clenched her eyes shut.

“Hurts...!” Ashlyn moaned.

“I'll get your medication.”

Ali hurried back to the small kitchen in the minimalistic flat and filled a glass of fresh water, finding the small packages of different meds Ashlyn had been told to take, and getting the painkillers. It has been enough hours since the last one to allow for a second dose, so Ali took one pill out, grabbed the glass and headed back to Ashlyn.

By then, the captain was breathing hard through clenched jaw, sitting up and grabbing her left leg with both hands, groaning as she glared at the empty space where her foot should be. The dark blue cotton blanket she had had wrapped around her had slid down to her hips, exposing her torso covered in sweat, dampening her pyjama tank top. Her left arm was covered in ink from shoulder to wrist, different small tattoos joined forming a huge one, an owl was tattooed into her right forearm, and 'knowledge speaks, wisdom listens' covered her shoulders.

“It's okay,” Ali sat on the verge of the sofa and pressed the pill against her lips, “open.”

Ashlyn gulped the pill and then sipped from the water glass Ali held against her lips.

“Thank you,” Ashlyn whispered, still in pain. Ali put the glass aside on the wooden coffee table and sat a little behind the captain, wrapping her arms loosely around her and kissing her shoulder.

“Deep breaths Ashlyn, you'll feel better.”

Ashlyn nodded and obeyed, leaning back against her body as the pill took its time to do something and ease her pain. Ali whispered soothing nothings and caressed her hair, helping her relax and feel better.

“Thank you,” Ashlyn said again, throwing her head back over Ali's shoulder and accepting Ali's lips pressing against hers briefly. “You're so good at this.”

“Just trying to help.”

“You do. So much...”

Sensing the pain was mostly gone, Ali's fingers trailed up and down her arm with one hand, the other wrapped tighter around her hips.

“Was it a bad nightmare?”

“Yeah...” Ashlyn sighed deeply. “It's just so confusing because I don't even remember much so... it's like watching pieces of a TV show you've supposedly lived but don't remember, and are trying to make some sense with the bit you get to see.”

“You can talk about it with me if it helps.”

“You're too good to me,” Ashlyn's lips curved into a smirk, turning her head to press a kiss against her neck. Ali shivered at that, blushing, but the captain didn't seem to notice. “I usually dream I'm back in the fighter, or floating in the sea, holding onto debris from the fighter, in so much pain... but unlike in reality, in my dreams I never seem to faint, it just goes on.”

“Does it hurt less now?”

“Yeah, it's gone.”

“Truth be told, I dream with that day at times too,” Ali confessed. The revelation surprised the blonde, who looked up, raising her eyebrows.

“Really? What do you dream about?”

“I can see you lying there, bleeding, unconscious...” said Ali uneasily. “Dying... but I'm like paralysed and unable to move and do something as you die.”

Ashlyn frowned.

“That sounds horrible,” said the captain. “But I'm here. I'm alive.”

A soft smile appeared in Ali's lips and she nodded.

“Damn right. So... ready for our date tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“Yes,” Ali beamed at her, unable to hide her excitement towards the first date she had prepared. Ashlyn was equally excited, but not quite sure she was ready, physically.

“I'm dying for it, Al, but isn't it... a bit early?” Ashlyn looked unsure at her. “I mean... as much as I'd love to go somewhere nice with you and have a night full of romanticism with you, I'm not sure my body's up for much.”

“Hey, I know, you're still recovering and it's only day one home, you have to rest and take it easy. But you have nothing to worry about. I have planned a night for _you_. You can sit on the sofa in your pyjamas... it's going to be a night of me treating you really good.” Ali grinned. “I planned it all with your comfort in mind, I assure you.”

“Me? But what about you? You're already doing it all for me, you deserve a treat...”

“Making you happy makes me happy, and besides... what I have planned out will make me very happy,” Ali cupped her face affectionately. “I've been so thirsty for it.”

While Ashlyn took another nap under the effect of her medication, Ali slipped out of the flat for a quick moment to gather some stuff for the date. She bought a big bouquet of colourful flowers, a bottle of champagne, and Ashlyn's favourite fish brought to Orlando straight from the Brevard County Ashlyn came from. She had asked Grandma Eunice for the recipe and hoped to be able to cook it to perfection.

When she finally arrived home, she found Ashlyn still asleep, so she prepared the fish, put it in the oven, rushed to shower, having brought some of her stuff over to stay a few days helping Ashlyn, and put on a simple, loose-fitting winter dress, long to her knees, with an open neck and 'v' cleavage, and long sleeves. It was red, and she paired it with her shark necklace and some short black boots with heels. After doing her make-up and making sure her hair looked nice in a waterfall hairstyle, she checked in her watch if it was time to get the fish out and rushed outside to the kitchen, seeing the fish was just right, juicy but sufficiently cooked, yet not dry and not burnt.

“Ali?” Ashlyn's voice came from the living room. “What's that smell?”

“Dinner!” Ali walked over to the kitchen door and beamed at Ashlyn, standing for her to see. Ashlyn was sitting on her sofa with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, watching TV, but her eyes immediately flew to Ali and her jaw fell. Turning the TV off, Ashlyn's eyes widened as she shamelessly eyed her up and down, her jaw opening more. “Like what you see?”

“Ali! This is so unfair, I'm severely underdressed...” Ashlyn looked at herself, her hospital bracelet still on, her hair a messy bun she had just improvised a moment before, and her pyjamas not too fancy and smelling of sweat. Then she looked back at Ali. “You're a sight to my sore eyes, you know?” she chuckled, “fucking stunning.”

Ali giggled and rushed to her, sitting next to her and cupping her face gently before kissing her, staining the captain's lips with her red lipstick. Ashlyn moaned into the kiss and put her hands softly on her hips, leaning into her kiss, until they finally pulled out.

“First of all, you don't need a pretty dress to look stunning, and second of all—,”

“Suit.”

“Sorry?” Ali looked confused at her interruption, and Ashlyn bit her lip shyly.

“I don't like to wear dresses. Suits are more my thing.”

“Oh,” Ali nodded, and then smiled for her comfort, “a pretty suit then. And second of all, tonight is for you, I told you. I knew you wouldn't be able to buy me flowers, I knew you wouldn't be able to get fancy... but it's all right, because you're here, which is all I need to feel the luckiest, okay?” Ashlyn looked fondly at her. “I want you to just enjoy the night, let me treat you like a queen, and not worry about a thing.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn smirked small. “I guess I can do that for you. But I'm going to need _many_ kisses.”

“I can handle that,” Ali chuckled, kissing her again, painting her lips with hers and caressing her cheek with her warm hand.

Eventually, Ali set the table with the new flowers, candles, the champagne, a clean tablecloth, and soft music in the background, and helped Ashlyn sit comfortably before bringing in the fish. She filled their plates and sat in front of her, watching with delight as Ashlyn took it all in, smiled, and tried the fish, closing her eyes and humming at the marvellous taste.

“It tastes just like when Grandma makes it!”

“Really?” Ashlyn nodded, munching another bit. “That's so cool! I asked her for the recipe.”

Ashlyn opened her eyes and stared at her in disbelief.

“You got Nana to give you her secret recipe? And you cooked it to perfection?” Ali beamed proudly and Ashlyn eyed her suspiciously all of the sudden. “OK, which planet do you come from?”

Ali giggled.

“Same as yours, I swear!”

“No way, you're Saturnian at least!” while Ali giggled, Ashlyn smiled meaningfully at her and her eyes shun with something else.

The captain was starting to feel a little overwhelmed, truth be told, out of the intensity of her feelings for the brunette, touched and grateful by her attentions, and more fond of her by the minute. Ali detected a shift and stopped eating and giggling, taking a long sip of her champagne as she watched the captain attentively. The blonde had interlaced her fingers under her chin and was looking at the table with an expression of intense satisfaction. Feeling Ali's eyes attentive on her, the corners of her mouth pressed for an even bigger smile, and her hazel eyes found Ali's brown ones.

“No one ever has done anything like this for me,” Ashlyn admitted softly.

“Oh, come on,” Ali chuckled. “I bet you've had many awesome women and dates.”

“Yes, but...” she shrugged. “This is the first time someone who isn't my caretaker cooks my favourite dish and makes it fancy for me. The first time anyone gives me flowers, or... the first time a date doesn't judge my appearance when I haven't had the chance to get fancy for work or whatsoever. You've done something very special here, Ali.”

Her words only filled Ali with more satisfaction and happiness, although it was also bittersweet to think Ashlyn had never had such simple things before.

“It's nothing you don't deserve,” Ali extended her hand and took one of hers, squeezing it softly. “I want to make you happy, Ashlyn Harris.”

“Oh, you absolutely achieve it,” Ashlyn snorted a nervous laugh and brought her hand to her lips. “Thank you, babe.”

Ali looked affectionately at her and grinned, eating again. They enjoyed a romantic dinner and, once the fish was finished, Ali took the plates to the dishwasher and brought in some chocolate cake she had bought the day before, taking advantage of the fact that Ashlyn wasn't peeking around the kitchen much.

“Oh my, I'm going to be rolling,” Ashlyn said as she saw the cake. “You're too good for me.”

“Are you talking to me or to the cake?” joked Ali, making her giggle.

“Both of you are too good for me.”

“And when you finish,” said Ali with a warm expression as she put the plate in front of her. “I've found all the shark week shows that you missed during your deployment, and put them all in a pendrive for us to watch, if you want?”

Ashlyn looked up to her with her mouth full of chocolate and the utmost astonishment.

“Oh my God you're perfect.”

A few minutes later, the couple was snuggled up together on the sofa under a blanket, watching all shark things. Ali had never paid much attention to shark week, but she enjoyed it, and enjoyed seeing Ashlyn's amazement at the sharks too. It was partially like being with an overexcited child. But after a couple hours, the captain's energy came to an end and she was falling asleep on Ali's shoulder, making the older woman convince her to head to bed. So she helped her leap to bed, keeping a firm arm around her back and a hand gently placed on Ashlyn's belly as the younger woman leaped to her bed, and then tucked her in and kissed the top of her head.

“Sweet dreams, angel,” Ali whispered.

“Why don't you sleep here?” murmured Ashlyn. “Sofa's not that comfortable... and there's space for two here.”

“Would you like me to join you here?”

“I very much would,” replied Ashlyn, shyly under the dimly light.

“Then let me just change into my pyjamas, and I'll be right here.”

As soon as she was ready, Ali carefully slid under the covers behind Ashlyn's back and wrapped her arms around the airwoman, just gently, in the darkness. After a few moments, Ashlyn rolled around, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her closer and suddenly, they were making-out, hands roaming over each other timidly. When they finally broke the kissing, they were both breathless, and Ali could hear her chuckle.

“I'm always up for a goodnight kiss,” Ashlyn whispered, her breath caressing Ali's nose and sending shivers down her back in the best way.

“I'm not complaining,” Ali whispered back, a hand still entangled in Ashlyn's semi-fallen bun.

Ashlyn gently pushed her to be on her back and wrapped her arms around her, nuzzling into her chest while Ali hugged her close in response. Ali felt her smile against her chest and smiled to herself, closing her eyes and bringing her even closer. It felt just right.

  
  



	12. Fitting puzzle

**Chapter 12: Fitting puzzle.**

Thing is, living with Ali wasn't difficult. This came as something strange to Ashlyn, who was so adamant on having her own space, so used to people breaking it and disturbing her, having grown-up in a difficult home. But with Ali there, she didn't feel uncomfortable or like she would be grateful to have more time for herself. There were times in which Ashlyn started to show some Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms, with nightmares or getting jumpy, but even through those, Ali just knew how to make her feel better.

The couple continued to have day nights every night for the first week of Ashlyn's return home. It was always the same: a nice dinner, shark week, and snuggling in bed. Sometimes they'd cuddle and talk for hours about life, dreams or family, and other times they'd fall asleep right away, but it never went beyond lying together. And then one night, while Ashlyn's arms wrapped firmly around Ali, the former defender had an erotic dream with Ashlyn, and woke up with the sunrise, feeling hot and bothered.

Slowly, she turned around and looked at Ashlyn, who slept peacefully. She couldn't help reaching to kiss her, pressing their lips together. Kisses with Ashlyn were addictive, and after her dream, touching her made her own skin feel in flames.

“Good morning,” murmured Ashlyn hoarsely, with a sleepy smile as her kisses woke her up.

“It's actually still too early but...” Ali blushed, kissing her neck. “I can't help myself if you look so pretty.”

“Babe, I'm just so lucky...” Ashlyn threw her head back and hummed in pleasure as Ali rolled over her, kissing and softly biting her neck, her hands roaming up and down over her pyjamas. But when Ashlyn realized where things were going, she stopped her, taking her hands gently and pecking her lips. “Babe, what's going on?”

Ali was blushed and flushed.

“I had a...” she doubted, shy. “A dream with you. An... adult dream.”

The captain's eyebrows flew to her hairline as she woke up completely, and smirked a little.

“Oh, you dreamed we had sex?” the captain teased her with amusement. Ali turned impossibly redder, but nodded. “Aw, baby... I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I probably performed much better in your dreams than I would in reality.”

She sat up and moved to grab medication from her night-stand, taking painkillers with water. But Ali sat next to her and once more started kissing her and holding her close.

“Let's have sex, babe,” Ali murmured, biting her earlobe gently, “come on, I'd make you have so much fun...”

“I'm sure, but are you sure of this, Ali?” Ashlyn turned to face her. “Stop there for a moment. Have you ever had sex with a woman before?”

“No,” Ali admitted with a shrug. “But it cannot be drastically different from a man, right?”

“Okay, Ali... you see I'm not... in my prime,” Ashlyn grimaced with herself. “I'm footless, unfit, I've lost a ton of weight, I'm too pale, not as strong as I used to be, covered with burnt sca—,”

“Stop picking your body apart. All you are is recovering from a plane crash, Ashlyn,” said Ali. “I don't care that the lack of fresh air made you paler, or that there are scars, or that you won't last an entire night because you're not full of energy. I don't mind that you're recovering. And if you don't feel ready, I completely get it, but if you're refusing just because of insecurity... stop it, 'cause to me you're perfect just like you are.”

Ashlyn smiled softly at her, shy.

“I'm not even shaven, Al...”

“Look how many fucks I give,” Ali grinned and pressed their lips together again.

This time there was no turning back. The intensity of the kiss left Ashlyn's mind blank and soon the captain was on top of her, cupping her ass under her shorts while the brunette found the younger woman's clit and struggled to remove her t-shirt.

**. . .**

Ashlyn knew she wasn't in shape, but forty-five minutes later, she felt as if she had just had sex with a tornado. She was hundred percent nude with her sheet wrapped around her lower right leg, and her lungs were still recovering, her chest heaving up and down as she looked up at the ceiling in shock.

“I didn't know you had such a skilled tongue,” Ashlyn admitted, and her girlfriend sniggered against her neck.

Ali was wrapped on top of Ashlyn, still dampening her lower belly as she hugged her with her legs.

“You've got the best hands in the world, hands down!”

“Ah, feeling smarty uh?” Ashlyn smiled, kissing her shoulder and wrapping strong arms around her. “We need a bathe.”

“Coming!” Ali sat up and Ashlyn gasped. Ali's wetness was pressed against her pubis, and she threw her long black her backwards, making her breasts bounce slightly.

“Jesus Christ,” Ashlyn shook her head, staring at her. “Change of plans, second round then shower.” And she sat up, caught a breast with her mouth, and sent moans through Ali's throat as they held onto each other.

**. . .**

“I must say, for a recovering victim of a plane crash, you've got a ton of stamina,” Ali commented with an amused smile as, two hours later, she walked around the small flat, fully showered and dressed, cleaning around a little.

“Anything for my Princess,” said Ashlyn, sitting on her wheelchair showered and dressed and helping to organize the room.

They were having guests coming over that afternoon, so they were trying to make the place look nice. Having in count that it had been vacated for months, there was quite the layer of dust, even when Ali had cleaned before Ashlyn came in.

“I think this is all set,” Ali settled at last. “Want to go on a stroll? See if we can get some colour into that beautiful face.”

“All right.”

Sometimes, Ashlyn looked at her stump and felt rage, anger, frustration and sadness, but every single time Ali pushed her wheelchair around town, now and then looking down and beaming at her, all of that seemed to fade away. The two strolled around Orlando, walking through gardens and parks, stealing kisses now and then.

“Wait a second,” said Ali as they walked past a patisserie. “I'll buy some sweets for our guests, wanna wait outside?”

“Would rather, yes,” Ashlyn smiled as Ali leaned to press their lips together.

“See you in a minute.”

Ashlyn watched Ali go into the place and turned around into a flower shop she liked because it was decorated like a tiny jungle, with plants and colourful flowers everywhere. Her eyes fixed on a bouquet of forget-me-nots with white roses, and she had to buy it. It was a tiny one, and she held it safely in her arms as she waited in front of the patisserie for Ali to come back, sitting in her wheelchair right in front of her.

At last, the brunette made her way out with a plastic bag full of sweets, and immediately grinned as her brown eyes saw Ashlyn's flowers. Ashlyn smiled with the excitement of a five year old in Christmas and handed her the bouquet.

“Some flowers for my flower,” said Ashlyn as Ali smelled the flowers. “I owed you one, didn't I?”

“You're too sweet,” Ali kissed her gently. “Thank you, they're absolutely beautiful. Will look really pretty in the living room.”

“What did you get?”

“Some chocolates, some cake and cream puffs.”

“Yummy!” Ashlyn held the bag on her lap and wheeled herself by Ali's side while the brunette continued to admire her flowers. “Babe, is it OK if we pass by the hairdresser? I've been wanting to get rid of my entangled, damaged hair for weeks. It got half burnt in the crash and the hospital hasn't done wonders to it precisely.”

Ali checked her out and chuckled, nodding.

“Anything you need.”

Since the brunette had made her own visit to the hairdresser weeks before, she decided to leave Ashlyn at the place and meanwhile go and see if she could find a good wine for their guests. When they next met forty-five minutes later, Ashlyn was just wheeling herself out of the hairdresser, and Ali felt her breath caught in her throat from how beautiful she looked.

Ashlyn had gotten most of her long, dyed blonde hair chopped off, so now it looked a little like the hairstyle of Joey Tribbiani in the Season 1 of 'Friends', just long enough to cover her ears a little. Because she had dyed it blonde so long ago, her hair actually looked mostly dark brown now, with blonde highlights of whatever remained of the dye, and it was wavier now than ever, as if she just came from the beach.

“You look absolutely,” Ali whistled in admiration and Ashlyn chuckled. “Jaw-dropping.” Ashlyn ruffled her hair a little.

“Yeah?”

“God, yes,” Ali grinned and kissed her. “Feels fresh, doesn't it?”

“A lot,” Ashlyn nodded. “I'm so happy it's not going to be all knotty anymore.”

Suddenly, a plane flew low over them, and the noise caused Ali to look up and see it was coming on the direction of the airport. Probably about to land. She looked back down and saw Ashlyn had paled tremendously and was hunched forward, breathing hard.

“Ashlyn? Hey...” Ali squatted in front of her, seeing her bag on the floor with the flowers and putting there as well the bag of sweets in Ashlyn's lap, taking the captain's hands in her own. “Hey, focus on my voice, it's okay...”

Ashlyn seemed to be far away from there, back in the crash. The roar of the airship had caused her heart to accelerate and her mind to shut-down and it took her a long moment before she could notice that she was okay, safe, with Ali whispering nothings to calm her down and a passer-by having stopped to check everything was okay.

“I'm fine,” said Ashlyn at last, frowning and taking a deep breath, coming back to her senses. “I'm fine. Ali, let's go home, shall we?”

The two strolled back home and Ali put all they had bought away before joining Ashlyn on the sofa, and taking one of her hands in hers. The younger woman looked deep in thought.

“Are you okay?” asked Ali in a soft, gentle voice.

“I guess so,” Ashlyn shrugged. “I think I'm starting to put the puzzle back together, Ali. I think I know what happened. I just had all these pieces between dreams and flashbacks and... I think I know now.”

“What was it then?” Ali inquired carefully, staring at her as they sat side-by-side on the comfortable sofa.

“I remember I was thinking of you,” Ashlyn admitted. “I was relaxed thinking I had done a good job protecting that ship, and I was looking at the beach of our island from afar, thinking of how much I wanted to join you there because we were going to meet there... and I was so excited.”

“I was, too,” Ali murmured with a sad smile.

“And then... the fighter has a GPS detector that detects whether another aircraft is approaching, so I saw one coming so fast that I only had time to turn to see it, fly to try and end it, and have that short radio conversation. And then I remember as if I had been in... in a ball of fire, you know? And at the same time, like I was hit everywhere really hard, like being inside a washing machine in flames, to the point that the pain was too hard to register. And then I was free falling,” Ali observed her quietly, watching as the younger woman struggled to rebuild the puzzle of her disjointed memories. “I remember the salt in my tongue, the freezing water calming my wounds for a moment until the salt made them feel on flames once again, and I remember the pain was just... worse than anything else I've ever felt. I didn't even feel the leg, it was just so much it was everywhere. My skin burnt with fire, my head was a mess... I remember half-drowning and then... I think I thought of you, Ali. Do you remember what you'd tell me every single time we bid farewell before I took off on an aircraft?”

“Better come back, or else I'll be very upset,” Ali quoted herself, looking sadly at her. Ashlyn nodded.

“Yeah. It may sound ridiculous but...” Ashlyn frowned in concentration. “I think a part of me wanted to stop trying to stay afloat when everything hurt so much I couldn't even think straight, but that then I could almost hear you in my head. And I think as crazy as it sounds I focused on your voice in my head and was able to climb onto the debris where they found me. I think I wanted to come back to you.”

“Babe...” Ali moved to sit sideways and wrap her into her arms, putting her own legs around Ashlyn and holding her close. “I don't ever want to lose you. I'm so, so thankful you made it. Thank you.”

Ashlyn squeezed her gently.

“You're my missing puzzle piece, Ali,” Ashlyn whispered, hugging her close. “With you here... it all fits, with or without foot. Everything will be where it's supposed to be.”


	13. The gathering

**Chapter 13: The gathering.**

Returning to Ashlyn's flat, the captain hurried to help Ali with the last preparations for their visitors. Ashlyn's friends Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, Alex and Whitney were coming over for dinner, and Ashlyn had also proposed Ali invited some of her own friends, since she felt guilty Ali was so invested in taking care of her that she hadn't reacquainted with her own friends since she had arrived, and hadn't seen them in months. Besides, Ashlyn was curious to meet Ali's friends as well, as she believed in the saying that if you want to truly know someone, take a look at their friends. So Ali invited her brother Kyle, with whom Ashlyn had gotten pretty along, and her friends Kelley, Sydney, Crystal and Heather.

“It'll be a small party, maybe I shouldn't have invited my friends...” Ali said insecure as she counted the ten guests. “Or left out my brother...”

“Nonsense, your brother came here to see you and you've barely seen him five minutes,” Ashlyn argued as she put on some trousers with Ali's help, trying to look a little fancier.

“But I'm crowding your flat with so many people...”

“Alex,” Ashlyn smiled, taking advantage of the position she had with her hands on Ali's shoulders to steady herself to put on her trousers, in order to look at her in the eyes, “take is as a thank you gift? You've done more than I could ever put a price to for me, and I want you to have a fun night with your friends, even if it is a mere dinner in my little flat, and if they are half as amazing as you are, I'm sure I'm going to love them. Besides, I'm happy to see everyone after so long away, used to big crowds thanks to the military, and dying to know those people you speak so sweetly of.”

Ali smiled softly and nodded, pressing their lips together briefly. She had been telling all about her friends. Heather O'Reilly was a right winger with her in Pennsylvania State University, playing as a centre back, and had studied with Ali and become, like her, a professional player, but she had retired at 26 in order to pursue her dream of becoming a coach. Now she had several coaching camps over the year and coached teenagers. Something similar was the story between Ali and Human Resources worker Crystal Soubrier. They studied together although different degrees, like Heather, but she never played soccer. Instead, she married a French sports doctor and lived in DC with him, while Heather lived in Boston. Then there was Kelley O'Hara, an environmental engineer who also went to Penn State and met Ali there, befriending her. The fact that she ended up moving to Ali's natal Dumfries with her girlfriend had only brought them closer together. And finally there was Sydney Dwyer. Sydney had, with Ali, been a professional soccer player in the USWNT, but she had married an Orlando City forward, and according to Ali, Sydney left soccer the year before to try and become a mother. While this happened or not, she worked as a soccer commentator and lived in Orlando.

As Ashlyn and Ali, and sometimes with Ashlyn's friends, had spent hours chatting over the weeks, they had came to the sudden and amusing realization that many of them had crossed paths before, and then forgotten until, discussing their soccer experiences, they had remembered. Ali had entered the U-19 National Team at seventeen, when Ashlyn was sixteen, so they were sure they had played together and, as they looked for photographs, they saw that this was true. But Ashlyn had been in an odd phase of her life coming and going, and her name was quite common and she had changed a lot physically, so Ali hadn't realized they had actually played together very briefly in a few camps over one single year. And even though Ashlyn remembered Ali now if she thought about her, she had buried her soccer years so far in her memory that the name hadn't rung any bells when they had met again in Philippines. In a similar fashion, Ali had played with Tobin in the U-19 before Tobin had left at the same time Ashlyn had, when they turned seventeen and decided to focus on preparing for the Air Force, which they'd join the following year.

Heather thus had played soccer for most of her life, and briefly coincided with Ashlyn and Tobin. Both women were very excited when Ali told Ashlyn and Ashlyn told Tobin that Heather was one of her best friends and, like a few of her other friends, was coming over to see her in Florida for a brief few days, staying in Ali's vacated flat. Tobin and Ashlyn remembered Heather vaguely, but better than they had remembered Ali, because they had coincided more years and actually been friends.

And then there was Sydney, but she was a couple years younger than Ashlyn and Tobin, so by the time she had entered the U-19, both women were already leaving.

“Can't believe you're besties with Heather,” Ashlyn said excitedly as she wheeled herself around the kitchen, helping Ali with dinner. “The world really is tiny.”

“I can't believe you completely forgot you met me,” Ali teased her, not for the first time, out of amusement. “I mean I remembered you when we met, I just didn't know you and Tobin were the same Ashlyn Harris and Tobin Heath I had played with.”

“Babe, I was a very tormented teenager, my head wasn't in the right place... but I can make it up to you,” Ashlyn wrapped Ali's hip and brought her down to sit on her lap, making her laugh as she kissed her neck and then devoured her lips. “Yeah, I think I remember you better now...”

“Let's just stress the memory a little so it lasts longer,” Ali said flirtatiously, already leaning for an intense kiss. Their hands roamed around the other as they kissed more intensely, and then the doorbell rung. “Damn.” Ashlyn snorted a laugh.

“Wouldn't be good friends if they didn't interrupt the sexy times,” Ashlyn winked at her. “We'll continue this later miss.”

“I take your word,” Ali kissed her briefly and got up to open the door. “One moment,” she said stopping at the kitchen threshold, “do we tell them we're girlfriends, officially?”

“Sure,” Ashlyn smirked. “Girlfriends sharing a flat due to the circumstances. When I'm ready you can go back to yours and we can do this the normal way, dating and going to each other's flats all the time, and rebuilding our individual lives a little without leaving the other behind. What do you think?”

Ali looked at her and smiled. As much as she loved living with her she knew the healthiest thing for their relationship, in order to not rush it too much, was to go back to hers when the timing was right, and work on getting back to the life she had put on pause, to not lose herself in Ashlyn. But they could still be girlfriends through it all.

“I love it babe,” the doorbell rang again. “Coming!”

“That word has an entirely different meaning now, doesn't it?” Ashlyn shouted from the kitchen, and grinned victoriously as she heard Ali broke into a guffaw in the distance.

Making sure her navy shirt was correctly buttoned, Ashlyn wheeled the chair to her bedroom, as she heard Ali welcome some women, and grabbed the crutches. She wasn't supposed to use them much yet, but she barely had to move around the flat and, if it was going to be so crowded, it'd be easier this way. She walked a couple experimental steps around her bedroom, having used crutches before in her life and having strong arms, and felt good enough to come out.

At the kitchen she found Ali opening a bottle of red wine for Heather, who looked pretty much like Ashlyn remembered her, Kyle, and who could only be Crystal and Kelley, by Ali's descriptions. Since they were staying at Ali's, it made sense they came together.

“Welcome!” Ashlyn greeted them.

“Ash! Hi!” Kyle hugged her carefully.

“What're you doing in crutches babe?” Ali inquired while Heather and Ashlyn also managed to hug, excited to see each other again and squealing.

“Oh, I thought it'd be easier to move around if we had so many guests, but don't worry, I feel fine,” Ashlyn smiled confidently at her and then looked at the other two guests. “And you must be Kelley and Crystal, right?”

“That's us!” Crystal chuckled, carefully hugging her as well. “Your flat is so pretty.”

“Thank you for the invite, by the way,” Kelley said as they hugged as well. “Ali's told us so much about you, we couldn't wait to meet you.”

While Kyle was Ali's male version, with the bigger difference perhaps being his beard and that he was pretty much a closet with the body he had, Crystal was black, which made her easy to identify, and had a big nose and an ever bigger smile, with her long hair backwards in cool dreadlocks. Ali had told Ashlyn that she was also quite the dancer. Kelley was perhaps the more serious of the group, with a light brown hair loose, a beautiful smile and big earrings, her nose covered by some freckles. Ashlyn reflected that hadn't she been so whipped by Ali, and wasn't the woman with a girlfriend, perhaps she would've flirted with Kelley.

“Sydney will come on her own, she always takes forever to get ready, you know her,” Crystal was telling Ali, who rolled eyes but smirked, handing out the glasses of wine.

“Ash babe, want one?” Ashlyn was allowed to drink as long as it was little and not mixed with medications.

“I'll reserve myself for dinner, but thank you,” Ashlyn patted Kyle's arm. “What's up man? Alone between a bunch of ladies tonight!” she smiled warmly and he laughed.

“I've always been more comfortable around ladies anyway...”

“Ah, our Kyle _loves_ us!” Heather hugged him playfully, balancing her glass of wine in one hand. “Right?”

“Yeah, right,” Kyle chuckled. “Crazy ones...

They settled on the sofa so Ashlyn was more comfortable and the guests looked around the light grey walls. Ashlyn's flat didn't have much decoration, admittedly, but there were many pictures to take a look at, and a couple paintings, even a small carnivorous plant that ate insects, lived on one of her many bookshelves, and Ashlyn called 'Charlie'.

“So _this_ is Charlie, hi!” Kelley saluted the plant as she stood around the small living room, looking around full of curiosity.

“He loves flies, but will also rid me of spiders now and then,” Ashlyn pointed out from the sofa, where they were having some snacks.

“This is you?” Crystal pointed to a small framed photograph of Ashlyn when she graduated from the Air Force academy and completed her training, posing in her uniform next to her grandparents. “So little and cute!”

“Nine and some years ago, yeah,” Ashlyn replied, satisfying their curiosity. “How's working at Human Resources?”

“Oh, I love it,” Crystal shrugged. “I handle employee relationships at Penn State, and resolve employees issues, that kind of thing.”

“And she loves the gossip,” Ali added with an amused expression, and Crystal shushed her, laughing.

“So how's the recovery going, Ash? I was quite anxious when Ali told me what happened,” Heather asked, sitting by her old colleague. Heather was almost blonde, and had a roundish face that screamed kindness. She was also very smiley, but could be quite serious as well.

“Well, baby steps, but thanks to Ali I'm light years better,” answered Ashlyn. “My head's barely bothering me anymore, my burns are almost fully healed, all the internal bruises are healed, and my stump... well, I'm not going to grow a foot back, but I'll learn to manage, you know?”

“Yeah, it must suck,” Heather shrugged sadly. Ashlyn's stump was covered by the long sleeves of her trousers, and Ashlyn had put an elastic at the trouser sleeve to close it under the stump. “Does it hurt?”

“Now and then, it's like phantom pain, the doctor said it's something like my brain hasn't learned my leg ends where it ends now.”

“In the positive side, you didn't end paralysed from neck down,” commented Kyle. “Or dead.”

“Exactly,” Ashlyn nodded in agreement. “And besides, life gave me Ali, so I can't hate my luck completely.” She added looking affectionately at Ali, who blushed, while the others awed at the cute comment.

Half an hour later, all the guests had arrived at the flat and they had moved to the dining table. Ashlyn's Colonel had called her all of the sudden so she had gone to her bedroom to call back, because a call at that hour was never good, and she had to hang-up in order to move. Her guests remained in the dining room, finishing the chicken that had been cooked in the oven and drinking wine.

Meanwhile, the phone-call ended and Ashlyn hunched over in bed, covering her face with her hands as a migraine started to hurt. The news were devastating, and she didn't know what to do, let alone with her flat full of guests. She took a few deep breaths to dodge a panic attack and lied down in bed for a long time. Looking things from a different perspective, some of her best friends where there by her side. Perhaps it was actually good to have them there for her especially for this.

  
  



	14. Ejection

**Chapter 14: Ejection.**

Ashlyn's face as she returned to the dining table, crutching without much enthusiasm, was all Ali needed to see in order to worry and thus, scowl and reach for her as she sat next to her. Her girlfriend had paled and was extremely serious, even though they had been having a good hour and a half of fun before her call came.

“What's wrong Ash?” Ali inquired.

“My Colonel wanted to inform me that...” Ashlyn pursed her lips and sighed deeply, shaking her head in disbelief. “I'm being investigated for the crash. I have to fly to DC as soon as the doctor sees me fit for it and respond to a military court.”

Tobin scowled deeply.

“Well, of course they're investigating, they always do, but why would you have anything to fear?” Tobin asked her. “I mean, it wasn't like you choose to crash. No one's going to blame you for the airship's death.”

“Well, they're not investigating me for crashing a fighter,” Ashlyn clarified. “The Colonel said I was trained to eject and they don't know why I didn't even try to eject from the fighter if I saw it with time in advance. They're also trying to figure out whether I could've avoided the crash somehow, whether there was misconduct on my side.”

“Okay, but what's the worst that could happen?” Christen asked, concerned, sitting next to her girlfriend.

“They won't imprison you, won't they?” Ali asked suddenly fearful.

“No,” Ashlyn shook her head, “I mean they already made toxicology exams and they came negative for drugs and alcohol so at least they can't accuse me of that... but if they prove, and it's not like I can do much to prove otherwise, that I purposely avoided attempts to save my life or that I somehow wanted to crash, they'd force me into psychological treatment, which is the lesser of the evils really, and it'd damage my reputation big time, perhaps even end my career, if the leg hasn't already. And they they prove I could have avoided the crash and did not out of human error, then I'm very much screwed big time. They'll put me in trial, revoke my license to fly, ruin my reputation, suspend decorations... not prison time, because I didn't risk anyone's lives, but terminate my license and rudely kick me out of the Air Force? Heck yeah. After ten years, instead of leaving with honours, invalidated out, with a nice pension and a good name made for myself, they'd destroy everything. Administrative measures, disciplinary measures... anything.”

“Then you shall not worry,” said Sydney full of confidence. “Everyone knows there's absolute no chance you'd purposely suffer a plane accident, if you didn't eject was because you were preparing to attack, not thinking they'd purposely crash with you and kill themselves. And they cannot prove you could've avoided the crash, because you couldn't. They have no proof to punish you.”

“But neither do I,” said Ashlyn. “It's my word against theirs. And I have a fucking medical history of mental illness, depression, anxiety and shit. I was under anxiety treatment at that moment... they have room to say I lost my shit on board or something, and I have no way of proving otherwise. They won't even trust whatever I remember because I had a concussion and they'll deem my witness testimony unreliable.”

“But you've got Major Wambach on your side,” Tobin pointed out. “And several of us saw the crash. We'll testify as witnesses, say you were preparing to attack and were caught off guard with their immolation.”

“Come on,” Ali wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple, “remember the President wants to decorate you, right? They love you, they're not going to ruin you now. I'll come to Washington with you and you'll see how everything ends up being just fine. You're an amazing pilot, and they won't just see you had no choice, but also see you saved the base camp.”

Ashlyn let her friends comfort her during dinner and tried not to think about it and simply enjoy the time with their friends, but later at night, as the dishwasher took care of the dirty plates and Ali massaged her shoulders one-handedly, spooning her in bed, all the doubts and worry came back.

“What if I am suicidal, Ali?” Ashlyn suddenly whispered into the night. “What if I didn't want to save myself?”

“Don't be ridiculous, baby,” Ali pressed her lips against the back of her neck, exposed as Ashlyn's hair was up in a tiny bun. “Listen,” she pulled her to turn over and face her, and caressed her face, “you were excited about meeting me. You wanted to come back. You wanted to have a beach picnic with the girl you fancied. There's nothing suicidal there. You need to have your thoughts cemented and clear Ashlyn, because those people can make you doubt even your name, but you know who you are and what you're made of better than they do, and you know you're one hell of a captain who sacrificed for the base camp,” she pressed a hand against her chest. “Don't let them take away who you are, okay? Believe in yourself. Don't let them doubt you.”

Ashlyn nodded, and put her hand over Ali's on her chest, still looking a little sad.

“What if they kick me out nastily and destroy my reputation and all I've earned?”

“That's not going to happen,” said Ali right away. “But if it makes you feel better to know... you will always have me. And I'll always care the world about you, okay? I won't let you sink.”

Ashlyn smiled small.

“How am I ever going to repay you for all you do for me?”

Ali grinned.

“You do every single hour, silly,” Ali kissed her. “Come here beautiful, let me cuddle you and help you to sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day, you will see.”

A few hours later, as the sun came through the windows, Ashlyn's long dark eyelashes blinked as her eyelids separated, slowly rising from sleep. The memories from the night came flowing back, but before she could dwell in them, she heard soft snoring behind her. As a smile started to break in her lips, she turned around, catching the faint whiff of Ali's shampoo, and saw her girlfriend forming a ball in her sleep,with her face pressed against the pillow.

The sun illuminated Ali's features, sharpening her triangular chin and enlightening the moles forming galaxies across her skin. Her eyelashes were long and dark, and her skin was way more tanned than Ashlyn's, funnily enough, as Ashlyn's father descended from Native Americans and also, she had always spent a lot of time surfing under the sun. Meanwhile, the captain couldn't resist lifting a lone finger to caress her girlfriend's cheek, so gently her skin almost didn't touch hers, as her hazel eyes fixed on the beautiful woman and her thoughts seemed to stop, with her brain sending a clear message of not wanting to do anything but fix on that woman.

“I'm so whipped,” Ashlyn whispered for herself, content with just watching the older woman sleep so peacefully. The bags under the former defender's eyes had begun to clear out, and she just looked so relaxed she didn't want to interrupt that.

However, she had only been observing her for a few minutes when she felt the magnetic force between them pull her closer and closer, until her lips ghosted over Ali's, feeling her breath before gently brush together. She moved closer, and her lips trailed over Ali's jawline, pressing more firmly across her cheek, up to her temple and then low to her neck, kissing behind her ear. By then, Ali's breath had hitched and she seemed to stir a little.

“So beautiful...” Ashlyn murmured, mesmerized, as her eyes trailed over her face.

The hand she kept on Ali's hip slowly slid under the brunette's shorts, cupping her generous ass.

“Ashlyn?” Ali murmured hoarsely.

“Sh...” Ashlyn pecked her softly. “Let me please you...”

Ali's eyes opened slightly and suddenly closed and she emitted a raspy moan as Ashlyn's long fingers found her entry, pressing there with one finger while another found her clit. It was a matter of seconds before her hand was soaked and she was making her girlfriend moan steadily, while hungrily kissing her, and then suddenly she retired her hand.

“Hey!” Ali complained, but her complaint lasted little. Ashlyn lifted up her t-shirt and trapped her boob in her mouth, sucking adamantly and making her moan again and roll onto her back, pulling her close. “So... good...” Ali threw her head back in delight. Then Ashlyn's lips trailed across her abs and suddenly sucked hard on her clit, catching Ali so off guard that she let out a little yelp and came, unable to hold it any longer. “Ashlyn!”

When her eyes opened, she felt her orgasm linger a little longer as she faced Ashlyn, who looked smugly at her, with her eyes darkened by desire, as she licked her lips.

“Not sure that's enough breakfast...” Ashlyn commented, and to Ali's delight, leaned to kiss her once more, as she fought to get rid of her clothes at the same time.

**. . .**

Later in the day, Ashlyn spoke with Whitney, her lawyer, on the phone to get recommendations for a lawyer specialized in Air Force law, and then was speaking with the new lawyer on Skype for an hour in her little 'office' at the flat, while Ali watched TV. At last, she was done just in time to go have lunch at Ashlyn's grandparents' house with her uncle and aunt, that had also been invited over. It didn't matter that the Harris grandparents weren't related to Ali's maternal uncle, they still treated her maternal family like their own family.

“And doesn't your Nana have other children of her own?” Ali inquired as they spoke in the car on the way to the lunch. “Aside your Dad?”

“Yes, a daughter, she's a pretty cool aunt but she had her own husband and kids and they live in North Florida, so they can't come over as much as they'd like to.”

“I see... so how did the meeting go?”

“Let's leave that for lunch. I'll have to tell my family anyway... Uncle Jimbo may know what to do.”

At last, they sat in front of enormous plates of mac n'cheese that for a moment, made Ashlyn forget that she had more to discuss with her family. But at last, she found a good moment to comment on it.

“Uncle Jimbo, do you think the Air Force could find me guilty of not avoiding the crash?” Ashlyn's hazel eyes found her uncle's blue ones across the table, and he looked at her surprised.

“I'd usually say if you don't have something to fear, you've got nothing to hide, but somehow when it comes to the military, you never know. They could find you guilty for things you're fully innocent of if they wanted,” Jimbo answered sincerely. “What's the matter, niece?”

As usual, he knew when something was going on beneath the surface.

“Well, yesterday I got a call from Colonel Frank Weaton, because now that I'm home and recovering well, he wanted to let me know the Air Force has officially started an investigation to clear-out exactly what went wrong to cause one of their captains to go down like that, losing a limb, and whether it could've been avoided.”

“Isn't that the normal thing to do, darling?” asked Grandma Eunice as she ate calmly. “They'd want to know why they almost lost one of their best, right? It means they think greatly of you!”

“Yes, and no, Nana,” replied Uncle Jimbo for Ashlyn, frowning. “Sometimes their investigations can be so tough they make you doubt yourself and question everything, from your integrity to the things you were sure you had done, until at last, you can't trust yourself at all and then they sink you.”

“That's what I'm afraid of,” confessed Ashlyn. “Like, I know myself, I know I confronted the fighter because the base camp was in danger and it was my job to take it down, I know I didn't have enough time to attack before they collided with me, and I know I was not looking for a collision, that it was completely on purpose by the other pilot. But... I also feel I might've attracted the danger, I know I was a little bit distracted and I'm not sure I could have spotted the danger earlier with more time to react... and now, with them poking and with the little doubts I already had, suddenly I'm questioning every single thing. And I can't lie in a military court and say I'm two-hundred percent sure I did everything right and I was perfectly focused, when I'm not so sure, but if I don't, they'll see there's a door of doubt slightly opened and push it more, and more open until I don't know what to believe anymore. And they could destroy my career then.”

Jimbo nodded slowly, thoughtful.

“Have they mentioned they have anything on you, exactly?”

“No, but the Colonel mentioned specific concerns about whether I was trying to kill myself due to my history of depression, because they don't know if maybe I could've ejected and didn't, or if I chose to crash, so I guess partially they'll be investigating whether I was and am mentally unfit to fly,” Ashlyn explained. “And then he commented other concerns about whether the crash was avoidable, but I failed to show enough skill level to avoid it, and thus maybe I don't deserve to be a Captain and I could be demoted.”

“It's ridiculous they put such pressure on someone who only just survived a major crash,” Ali shook her head in disapproval. “What a lack of respect.”

“Yeah, the big bosses don't give two seconds...” Uncle Jimbo pursed her lips in deep thought. “Well if this is the case then Ash, you need to find a good therapist, someone you can trust. Get them to help you clear out exactly how things were so you can be sure, without a shade of a doubt, that you did your job right, and that will give you confidence in front of the court and also make it look like you actually care about your mental health. And then, don't let them break you down. Don't let them put fake words in your mouth and fake actions in your hands, and do not show them hesitation. You have to appear determined even when you don't feel like it, okay? Don't let them pin their version of the story on you.”

Feeling more reassured after her uncle's words and her grandmother's hugs and pampering, Ashlyn suggested to Ali they'd go to the beach. After all, it was their spot back in Philippines. As they strolled over to the beach, not really to bathe because it was chilly so close to Thanksgiving, but to just have a romantic time and relax, Ashlyn was crutched and very often they were stopped by someone who knew Ashlyn and would want to hug her and congratulate her and wish her a speedy recovery. At last, Ali removed her short boots and sunk her feet in the sand, helping Ashlyn remove her shoe and crutch through the sand until they found a good spot in a semi-deserted area by the shore.

They sat together and Ashlyn smiled small, holding Ali's hand between hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. It was the first time she looked at the ocean since she was rescued from it, and she was feeling a little emotive.

“I'm so lucky we found each other for good,” said Ashlyn. “If it wasn't for you I'd probably still be in the hospital, depressed and grumpy.”

“I genuinely do enjoy spending time with you, you know?” Ali commented, looking fondly at her.

“Is it my awesome jokes? Or I'm just pretty?” Ashlyn teased her.

“Well,” Ali snorted a laugh, “you _are_ very pretty, and funny, but... there's something about you that always makes me feel very... at peace. I can't pinpoint it.” Ashlyn nodded, feeling utterly flattered.

“I know what you mean... I get the same feeling with you.”

“Really?”

“Really, why d'you think it was so comforting to have you in the hospital?” Ashlyn chuckled, kissing her cheek soundly. “My super purdy girlfriend.” Ali grinned, wrapping Ashlyn's arms around herself.

“You're mine,” Ali said joking around. “All mine.”

“All yours.”

“How does it feel to be near the ocean again?” Ali asked then, all of the sudden. Ashlyn sighed slowly.

“Like it's never been this big before.”

And Ali wasn't completely sure she was only talking about the blue mass.

  
  



	15. Tumultuous

**Chapter 15: Tumultuous.**

Taking advantage of the fact that they were around Ashlyn's hometown, as Satellite Beach was a twenty minute car ride from Palm Bay, they stayed the night at the Harris grandparent's house and the next day, Ashlyn helped Ali drive to the area of Melbourne, in-between both, where her mother was living in a small house with nurses that came and went, taking care of her so she wouldn't commit suicide. Ashlyn wasn't happy about the visit, but she felt more confident with Ali by her side and, since Tammye apparently had only just tried _again_ to kill herself, it seemed like a visit was due.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Ashlyn told Ali as she crutched by her side towards the house. “I couldn't do this without you.”

“My malicious plan is for you to never have to do anything without me,” Ali joked, kissing her briefly. “Come on Captain, we've got a woman to get some sense into.”

When they arrived at the house, a nurse informed Ashlyn that her mother was pretty gone with the antidepressants now. They had switched to stronger ones and they left her very zombie like, so she was just sitting on the sofa staring at nothing. Ashlyn frowned upon seeing her. Even though Tammye wasn't old, as she had become a mother very young, she seemed to have aged twenty years since she had last seen her, admittedly long ago, because the visits were never pleasant.

Now, not even sixty yet, Tammye's curly hair had gone mostly white and grey and didn't reach her shoulders quite yet. Her glasses were crooked to one side and she was pale and far too thin. Her skin was even prematurely wrinkly.

“Mum?” Ashlyn asked, frowning lightly. She feared shocking her mother too much by her footless, but having in count how much she traditionally passed from her children, she wasn't sure she'd care at all. The only reason Ashlyn still called her Mum was because she could understand her being depressed, running to alcohol and drugs and losing herself in the way, whereas her father had always sucked for no particular reason. He wasn't even quite the addict, nor had bad parents... he was just very violent and dangerous, while Tammye seemed like a little child who got with the wrong man, and he ended her like he ended everything he touched. She wasn't always what she was now.

“Perhaps we should sit with her?” Ali suggested. Ashlyn nodded and sat by her mother, while Ali sat next to her. “Hello, Mrs Harris. I'm Ali,” said Ali with a sympathetic voice.

“Yes, uh... Mum, this is my—,”

“Christopher?” Tammye blinked several times, and then looked at Ashlyn and slumped her shoulders. “Oh, it's just you,” then she looked down at her missing foot, “ninety percent of you, at least.”

Ashlyn clenched her jaw for a moment and Ali scowled angrily. Why was this woman being so nasty with Ashlyn? It wasn't like she had done something wrong.

“Yes Mum, it's _just_ me. You know, the one child you have who instead of having a police record has decorations on her chest,” Ashlyn said in a gentle tone, and Tammye snorted a dry laugh.

“At least Chris is not a slave of the government and a murderer.”

“Is that what you think I am?”

“Wouldn't you shoot a father of a family dead if the President said so?” Tammye glared at her, and Ashlyn pressed her lips angrily, unable to say no. “Disgusting.”

“I am your only daughter,” Ashlyn murmured. “As a matter of fact I am the only family you've got left who still cares to visit you. Yet I almost died and you didn't even call m—,”

“Of course it's all about you. Aren't you _just_ like good old Curtis?” Ashlyn flinched and looked offended at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Egocentric, self-centred, aggressive...” Tammye snorted, leaning back on her sofa and looking absent-mindedly at the floor. “You were always the most like him. You even work spilling blood... Christopher was the sweet, tender one. He wouldn't kill a fly.”

Ashlyn clenched her jaw.

“Maybe this visit was a bad idea. We should go,” she added towards Ali.

Tammye then seemed to notice Ali for the first time, and she suddenly stood up and dragged her feet towards her with her eyes exaggeratedly wide open.

“Oh, no,” Tammye murmured. “Don't fall into the trap, girl. You still can run...”

Ali scowled even deeper if possible and glared at her.

“What do you mean?”

“They all look the same at first. Sweet, strong. Isn't it sexy, how safe she makes you feel?” Tammye murmured, expression blank. “But once you marry her, she won't ever let you leave. She'll always find you, she'll _own_ you. She'll force you to have kids, you know? And she'll torture them and transform them into murderers. They're both the same. She will hit you every day just like he did. Run, if you're smart.”

It took Ali an instant to comprehend Tammye was warning her against Ashlyn, comparing her with her father.

“I'm sorry your ex-husband was so terrible to you, Tammye,” Ali stood up and helped Ashlyn to do the same. “But I'm not going to take advice about Ashlyn from someone who's never taken a moment to know her. Where you see a murderer, I see the woman who saved my life, who lost a foot trying to keep a terrorist from shooting children, and who keeps visiting her mother even if said woman keeps hating on her for no reason more then her resemblance to her father. Well I'll tell you something,” Ali fixed her eyes on Tammye's green ones. “Ashlyn is nothing like her father. She feels regret, she tries not to kill, she does any bad she does to protect innocent people... Curtis, as far as I'm concerned, was just pure evil, proud of causing violence where he stepped. And Ashlyn would never raise a hand against a child, let alone her own. I hope one day you can see that. Let's go babe.”

She put an arm protectively around Ashlyn and glared at Tammye, holding her gaze as they stepped outside. As Ashlyn crutched away from the car, she suddenly laughed.

“Woah!”

“What?” Ali asked, confused.

“That was so hot and so badass babe,” Ashlyn smirked at her, red from laughter. “Did you see her face? Like a fucking brick hit her. Thanks for what you said, though. It was really nice.”

“It was only the truth. Now let's go back home, your ass is looking very neat in those trousers and I want to take them off,” Ali said, slapping her ass playfully and making her blush and giggle, her mood getting good in an instant.

As they got into the car, however, they failed to see someone was watching them from the bushes.

Arriving back to the Orlando flat felt great after the long time in the car. Ashlyn's shoulders were quite knotted after so much crutching around, and Ali immediately offered to give her a massage, as she tossed her purse aside.

“I'll grab the oil, you get comfy on the bed?” Ali offered.

“You are a godsend Alex, thank you,” Ashlyn smirked content and crutched to the bedroom removing her t-shirt, trousers and bra and lying face down on the bed.

Shortly after, Ali entered carrying a bottle of massage oil and, after a second to admire her girlfriend's muscular back, covered in freckles from all the hours under the sun, she sat on the bed next to her and poured a generous amount of oil in her hands before concentrating on massaging her back and shoulders properly. Ashlyn instantly groaned in delight.

“Your hands are fucking out of this world,” Ashlyn practically drooled, closing her eyes. Ali smiled and pressed on the muscles of her sides, over a colourful tattoo that covered her whole left side of the torso, with butterflies and other flowers.

“You've never told me what all of your tattoos mean.”

“Oh, they have so much meaning I personally designed each with the artist. My left arm is the story of my life, from my birth, my parents and to the Air Force. My side tattoo is for my paternal grandparents and the Hawaiian flowers grandpa would give me to decorate my surfboard, in celebration of our Native American Hawaiian ancestors. My shoulders are a valuable lesson. It's just, every single little tattoo... has a whole story behind. But it's always life stuff. What about your tattoos?”

Often unseen, Ali had two tattoos. _Liebe_ on her left forearm, and the symbol of her university soccer team in her right groin, alongside the number with which she had played back then. She told so to Ashlyn.

“And _Liebe_ means love in German. It represents love for my roots and for the country in which I spent five years of my life.”

“Five?”

“Playing soccer for Frankfurt.”

“You are such a Champion, Alex,” Ashlyn smirked at her. “I've never met someone half as adventurous, interesting, exciting... hey, wouldn't you happen to get a German partner, right?” Ali giggled.

“No, I worked too hard for romance. Besides, between the long flights back and forth to play for the US, the jet-lags and the European season, that is different from America... I barely had holidays or anything to call free time.”

“You're so German. Hardworking, fierce... a force to be reckoned with!” Ali chuckled, making her moan as she pressed her thumbs against her muscled shoulders. “You know, when I'm recovered, I'll take you on a nice, romantic trip to Germany, just the two of us. You can show me the place you love so much, and I'll pamper you and thank you properly for all you've done for me.”

“I'd love that.”

“We could even go on to Italy and visit your family if you still have any there,” Ashlyn went on. “See Rome, Venice... I'd get to kiss you all around the world and tell you how perfect you are in three different languages, because I'd be learning, keeping my ears open.”

“Aww, that's so romantic babe! It's a deal!” Ali grinned, leaning to kiss her. “You're so cheesy and cute beneath that strong serious airwoman façade.”

“I'm a strong, serious airwoman who can either fuck you through the mattress or read you poetry and, in my best days, even cook nice dinners, how's that?” Ali laughed openly.

“Don't let Nana hear that filthy mouth.”

While Ashlyn laughed, the doorbell rang and Ali stood up, washing her hands with a paper cloth she had brought over.

“I'll take it,” Ali playfully slapped her ass and trotted outside to the door.

Looking through the peep-hole, she saw a tall, wide, muscular man, with short white hair and quite the white beard. He had an air of Santa Claus, as a matter of fact.

“Who is it?” Ali asked through the door.

“Uh, it's your neighbour, Jordan, from the floor below,” the man said with a deep, strong voice. “Could you give me some flour, please? I was cooking and I've ran out of it and don't have time to go shopping...”

“Sure, one sec!”

Ali hurried to the kitchen.

“Babe! What's up?” Ashlyn shouted from the bedroom.

“It's just your neighbour Jordan, he wants some flour!” Ali shouted back, already opening the kitchen cabinet and grabbing the white package. Quickly, she returned to the door and opened it, smiling warmly at the neighbour and handing the package. “Here, use as much as you need and you can bring it back later.” The man smiled at her.

“Thank you! I'm sorry, I thought Ashlyn still lived here, didn't realize we haven't met.”

“Oh, yes, she's just unavailable right now, I'm Ali,” Ali shook her hand at his offering.

“Nice to meet you Ali. So Ash's deployed again, uh? That woman really doesn't stop for a break.” He chuckled.

“Aw, no, she's back in town, just busy. Well, nice to meet you Jordan, I'll tell Ash to say hi next time.”

“Yeah, one second!” Ali turned around to face him again, and before he could come to view, she felt a hard punch on the check and fell back inside the flat. Ali fell with a thud, holding her cheek as it hurt like hell. “Sorry beautiful, nothing personal.” Jordan came in and closed the door after himself, hunching over Ali and, before she could protect herself, grabbing her by the throat, pressing her against the floor.

Ali's eyes widened and her hands flew to the man's ones, trying to let herself free as she felt herself become dizzy, quickly asphyxiating with the great strength of the man's hands.


	16. Stumbling

**Chapter 16: Stumbling.**

Ashlyn didn't recall a neighbour named Jordan and, after a moment of thought, sat up and put on her pyjama t-shirt, deciding she ought to know her neighbours if they were going to be encountering Ali more these days. She hadn't crutched out of her bedroom yet when she heard the distinctive sound of someone collapsing on the floor, and she stormed out as fast as her crutches would allow. As she looked up and saw a big man knelt on the floor, strangling Ali as she lied there helplessly, unable to make a noise and scream for help, her eyes widened.

Hearing her, the man looked up and hazel met hazel.

“You! Get off her!” Ashlyn ran to her leaping hard with the crutches and, as Ali passed out, he tried to escape before Ashlyn could reach him but, as he fumbled to open the door, Ashlyn used one crutch to hit him hard on the head, successfully throwing him to the ground.

“Fuck!” the man scrambled trying to get up. “You bitch!” the room around her spun too much and he could barely be on his knees, his head hurting too much. Ashlyn threw her crutches aside and jumped on him, both collapsing to the ground. Ashlyn turned him around and punched him hard across the face, feeling herself boil in anger, seeing red. She punched, once, twice, thrice... until the man fainted in her arms, blood coming out of his split lip and eyebrow.

“Son of a bitch... Ali!” Ashlyn turned around and crawled towards Ali, who lied motionless. “Alex! Alex, babe, come on...” Ashlyn held her wrist and breathed in relief feeling a weak pulse, but scowled angrily as she saw Ali's left cheek was all bruised and swollen, and her neck was angry purple with hand marks. The captain then begun CPR, breathing into her mouth and doing compressions on her chest for a mere few seconds until Ali coughed awake, groaning and coughing more as she recovered her breath. “There you are, oh God...” Ashlyn wrapped her arms around her and pulled her up to a sitting position, dropping on her ass next to her and holding her close as Ali caught her breath. She eyed Curtis, who lied unconscious on the floor, next to a dropped package of flour. “It's okay babe, you're safe, you're safe.” Ashlyn kissed the top of her forehead, letting her own racing heart calm down. “I've got you now.”

“Ash,” Ali said hoarsely, her eyes glassy with unshed tears, “who...?”

“That, my darling, was my father.” Ali gasped and looked around. With the grown beard and the added age she hadn't recognized the man she had only seen in pictures. “Can you stand up?” Ali nodded weakly. “Go to the bedroom, I don't want you near him. I'll get the phone and call the police.”

Ali held onto the wall to stand up and slowly walk back into Ashlyn's bedroom, still coughing a little, and after a glare to Curtis, Ashlyn grabbed her crutches and stood up to grab her phone. As she was talking with the 911, however, she heard the door open and, by the time she made it with her crutches, Curtis was gone, leaving only the flour and a small blood stain on the floor.

**. . .**

After a long time talking to the police, Ashlyn entered her bedroom, where the paramedics had finished-up with Ali, who lied in bed propelled-up against a bunch of pillows, with Kyle sitting next to her on Ashlyn's side of the bed, looking concerned. Ali was a bit less pale and Kyle was keeping a bag of ice inside a cloth against her cheek, while Ali herself pressed another carefully against her neck.

“Do you need to take her to the hospital?” Ashlyn asked the nearest paramedic, full of worry.

“No, she'll be fine in a few days, physically at least,” the paramedic replied. “Just keep it iced, but her throat not too often. Her cheek is just bruised, the bone didn't fracture, thankfully, and she's got no symptoms of concussion, but call us if she shows any later, you know them?”

“Yeah, I've had my fair share. I was a goalkeeper.”

“Right,” the paramedic nodded in understanding. “Her throat will recover on its own, but her larynx it's a little swollen, so it'll bother her to gulp for a few days, and her voice will need some time to recover. We've given her a painkiller that's anti-inflammatory as well, that's good every six hours.”

“All right, well thank you very, very much. Alex sweetie, how do you feel?” Ashlyn came closer, holding her free hand as she supported on her one foot and one crutch.

“I'm fine,” Ali whispered weakly, due to the swelling in her throat. “Babe, your hand's all swollen...”

“Don't worry about me,” Ashlyn kissed her other cheek. “I'm sorry he got out.”

“They'll get him,” Ali squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Just wait.”

“I'll walk the paramedics to the door,” Kyle offered, and squeezed her sister's hand before moving away to give them some privacy, leaving them alone.

Ashlyn sighed and flopped on the bed next to Ali. She was so angry and frustrated at her father, and so relieved Ali was all right, but at the same time she couldn't help but be angry with her disabled status, that had kept her from protecting Ali.

“I'm sorry,” Ashlyn said at last.

“Sorry?” Ali looked utterly confused at her.

“Yeah, I should've been the one to open the door, it's my flat. If I had, you'd be okay. Hell, if only I had two feet, I would've ran after him and kicked his ass proper, and now he's escaped...”

“Ash, this wasn't your fault baby.”

“Wasn't it?” Ashlyn smiled sadly at her. “He came looking for me, Ali. He probably only hurt you because he thought you were vulnerable and easy to hurt, and realized that if you were in my house when I wasn't here, you must really mean a lot and therefore hurting you would be the best way to hurt me. If he had killed you I...” she clenched her jaw, shaking her head. “I'd kill him. I'd find him and I'd kill him.”

“Babe, let it go,” Ali brought her close to hug her between her arms. “You don't need to murder a man to help me. You just have to be here with me.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” Ashlyn gently kissed her bruised neck. “You rest here, okay? I'll handle everything, I'll take care of you.”

“Promise me you won't go after him,” Ali pleaded, fixing her eyes on the other woman's. Ashlyn pressed her lips together, but then nodded.

“Whatever makes you happy.”

Ashlyn and Kyle spent the day taking care of Ali. Because of the amputation, Ashlyn struggled a little to stand on one crutch and cook with one free hand, so she grabbed a stool and sat to cook and do everything she could so Ali could rest and feel better soon. Kyle, of course, helped her around as much as he could, partially because of own initiative, and partly because Ali would tell him to do so every single time she saw him.

“You don't think he'll come back, do you?” Kyle questioned lowering his voice once Ali had fallen asleep that night and Ashlyn and Kyle sat on the sofa, deep in thought.

“I was just thinking about that...” Ashlyn pursed her lips. “I only just realized, he wanted to go when he saw me there. He wasn't expecting me to be there. He wasn't looking to confront me.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning Ali was his goal the entire time. He wanted to hurt her, and that could only be because he knows she's my girlfriend. Think about it, how else to hurt me than hurting the woman he knows I care the most for?”

“Makes sense, but how would he know she's your girlfriend? I thought he wasn't in contact with your circle anymore?”

“And he isn't. Unless...” Ashlyn's Special Operations Command's brain focused and she figured it out. “Unless he is still in contact with my mother. Watching her... so that when we visited her, he saw us together. And he followed us here. That's how he knew where I live too, and that's how he saw I'm amputated.”

“Didn't your mother hate him? Why help him now?”

“Maybe she isn't. Maybe he's just around.”

“What for?”

 _She won't ever let you leave. She'll always find you, she'll own you._ What if Tammye was talking about her father? What were the odds that she was telling them, dissimulating, all that he had done to her and would continue to do to her? Could Curtis still think of his ex-wife as property, was it possible he had never let her go? And if that was the case, if he was always looming over her, it was possible he never stopped threatening her, telling her what she'd do to her family, to her, to everyone she had once loved, if she told anyone where he was, what he was doing. And if she was a good girl, her people would be safe, and she could live on her own house, in domiciliary arrest pretty much, where he could watch her but where he wouldn't continue to hit her to avoid suspicions.

“Oh no,” Ashlyn blurted out. “Oh no. He never left, that's why she keeps trying to kill herself...” her eyes widened in sudden realization.

“What are you talking about, Ash?” Kyle asked in utter confusion.

“I need to go.”

“Where? You promised Ali not to go after him, Ash. I can't let you go alone...”

“Kyle, you need to watch over Ali,” said Ashlyn, already grabbing her crutches. “Watch over her for the night, and I'll be here in four, maybe five hours, nothing more. I'm not going after Curtis, but I need to find my mother, I think she may be in danger, okay?”

“Even if she was, there's nothing you can do,” Kyle followed her to the door. “Ashlyn! There's nothing you can do alone, you can't even drive there.”

“I drive an automatic Kyle, I'll manage with one foot,” Ashlyn said, putting on her jacket and hurrying to find a piece of paper and a pen. “I'm just going to check on her. If I'm not back by sunrise, give this address to the police, and tell them Tammye Harris' life is in danger, and that her ex-husband Curtis is after her.”

“Ashlyn, Ali's gonna kill me!”

“Then don't let her know,” Ashlyn opened the door after handing him the piece of paper with the scribbled address. “I'll be back before you know it.”

“Ash!”

“What?” Ashlyn asked impatiently. Kyle sighed.

“Be careful, okay? I want you in one piece.” Ashlyn nodded.

“Take care of your sister for me.”

Ashlyn left, locking the door after herself, and Kyle turned around to go back to Ali. However, as he looked up, he saw his sister standing by the bedroom's doorframe, hugging herself and looking very worried.

“Where did she go?” Ali asked, her voice still raspy and weak from the strangulation. Kyle sighed.

“You're gonna have to sit down.”

Meanwhile, after an hour and a half of drive, made a little longer due to her foot or lack of it, Ashlyn's Jeep entered her mother's street in Satellite Beach. She parked in the vehicle entry, and looked around carefully, trying to spot her father as she crutched to the house. She rang the doorbell several times, insistently, but didn't receive an answer so, leaping on her one foot, she threw herself against the door until it cracked open.

“Mum!” Ashlyn shouted into the house. “Nurse! Oh, no...” she saw blood stains on the walls and followed them until, near the kitchen, she found the body of the nurse who took care of her mother, lying on the floor with her eyes open but without seeing, her hands still on her bleeding stomach, a pool of blood forming around her. “Shit... Mum! Mum!”

Moving around the house as frantically as her crutches allowed, she reached every room in the fortunately, one-storey house, and found them empty. Because of this, she made the decision to continue in the basement, that her mother used as laundry room. She carefully leaped down the stairs step by step, attentive of every sound, with her heart hammering in her chest, and at last reached the ground. Looking around, her heart climbed to her throat as her anxiety levels rose.

Her mother was sitting on a chair, tied, in the middle of the room, with blood in her thick curls and down her nose. [ **A/N: Next paragraph is a little gore.** ]

“Mum...” Ashlyn breathed out. “Mum!” she panicked, and went to her as fast as she could, her arms hurting from the continued effort. She grabbed onto the chair for support and used her free hand to shake her mother. “Mum! Come on!” Ashlyn felt for a pulse in her neck and found it weak, but still there, so she grabbed her phone and frantically called 911. Hanging up once she was assured help was on its way, she carefully cupped her mother's face with one hand and lifted it up, as it was bowed down, to look at her properly. Her eyes were closed, one of them purple, and she felt her eyes fill with tears thinking of the horror the woman must've lived. “It's okay Mum, hold in there okay? Help is on its way...” she saw blood in her lips and with horror, realized Curtis had ripped out a couple teeth. “Shit... Mum, can you hear me? I know you're in pain, but you have to wake up, okay? Please... it's me...”

“Ash?” Tammye's eyes opened slightly. “Love... you figured it all out... didn't you?” she asked weakly. Ashlyn felt a knot in her throat and could only nod. “I'm sorry... he would've... hurt you... if I said... I swear I didn't tell him anything... nor about the girl...”

“It's okay Mummy. Don't you worry about that,” one handedly, Ashlyn worked to untie her and knelt by her side, putting her arms around her and holding her as her mother leaned towards her. “You're gonna be okay, and I'm going to bring you to live with me. I'm going to help you forget this horror.”

“I'm so proud...” Tammye murmured against her ear, her voice nothing but a bare whisper. “I love you so much...”

“Was it always like this? He made you treat Chris and I wrong through threatening to kill us? Were you always just trying to keep us alive?” Ashlyn whispered, and Tammye nodded. “And when we grew up and left... that's why he let you go, right? Because he knew he could still hold power over you no matter where you were.”

“Yeah...”

“Mum...” Ashlyn felt her lip shake with emotion and held her closer. “I love you too. I thought you hated me... I...”

“Sh... I always... loved... you... but you're the one... he hates... most... so...”

“So you had to hate on me particularly. Make me feel you didn't care, in exchange of my life,” Tammye nodded, hearing her. “I'm so sorry... it's why you wanted to die, right?”

“That way... he wouldn't... have... power... anymore... and I knew you and Chris... were safe... I thought you were out of harm's way... in the Air Force... and I told Chris... to get himself in prison... to be safe...”

“You told him to imprison himself?” Ashlyn asked, astonished. “Did he know the truth? Mum... Mum?” She pressed her fingers against her mother's pulse point, but there was no pulse to find.

  
  



	17. Family matters

**Chapter 17: Family matters.**

Ali and Kyle arrived to Satellite just as the sun rose above the horizon. They found Uncle Jimbo's house with ease; they had already heard all the news on the phone, when Ashlyn had called Kyle to let him know of everything that had happened, but they were still full of questions, and above all, full of worry.

“Come in,” Jimbo said opening the door, looking sleepless. “She's in the living room with everyone else.”

Ali adjusted her scarf to make sure it covered her neck properly, even though she was sure by then everyone knew what had happened to her as well, and led the way inside, finding Ashlyn quickly, sitting on the sofa with her stump propelled up on a pillow on the chaise-longue, looking tired herself. Their eyes locked and Ali ran to her, not even looking at the rest of the room before jumping in her arms.

“Baby,” Ali sat on her lap carefully and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. Her throat was feeling better already. “Did he touch you? Are you okay?”

“No, he wasn't there, and I'm as okay as I can be,” Ashlyn smiled softly, kissing her cheek before they kissed on the lips briefly. “How's your throat feeling?”

“It's okay,” she was still a little hoarse, but not too much. “Oh my God Ash, I'm so sorry... your Mum...”

“She's in peace now. No one can find her now. And with Christopher in prison, he should be safe too,” Ashlyn brought her hands to her lips. “Police is already looking for Curtis.”

“So are you sure he did it?” Ali inquired, and as Ashlyn nodded, she continued. “But why?”

“Well,” Ashlyn patted the space next to her and Ali moved to sit there, taking her hand between her own. She looked at the rest of the room and saw Ashlyn's family was sitting around, “I didn't realize at first... hell, I haven't realized for over two decades... but when he came to Orlando to hurt you, I first thought that he was looking for me, and then later I realized I was never his objective. He doesn't want me dead, because then the fun would be over. If he wanted me dead, he's had plenty of chances to kill me when I lived with him, and it's popular knowledge in Satellite I live in a flat in Orlando, so he could've gotten the information he wanted. Ask someone to ask someone to ask someone, you know? He could've gotten my address, he could've come looking for me many times.”

“Yet he didn't,” said Corey, and Ashlyn nodded in agreement.

“Exactly. But the moment Ali comes into town, he's there. Not just that, but he doesn't come until that moment even though Ali's been with me for a while now, and when he saw me, he was frightened. He wanted to run away and go and I didn't give him the chance, but the moment he could, he left. Even seeing I was in disadvantage with the leg, he still didn't even try to kill me. That's when it hit me, that he was with Mum all along. He didn't come before because until he followed us from Satellite Beach when we visited Mum, he didn't know Ali was staying with me. And he went for Ali because when he saw us, he must've understood Ali had to be a big deal to come with me to see Mum, and to drive me around. He saw us together, and we were sharing a laugh, and he probably saw there was something there. He was never stupid. When he realized Ali was important for me, he decided to hurt her in order to hurt me. That's always been his favourite sport, fuck me over without killing me, keep the fun going.”

“Why does he even hate you so much?” asked Kyle, sitting nearby. “You're his daughter. One doesn't just turn crazy one day and goes against their daughter.”

“He's a psychopath, I wouldn't try to reason his actions much... but I've always known he disliked it when we were little and Mum would pay Christopher and I all the attention. And then suddenly one day, when we were still toddlers, she started to completely ignore us, and he began hitting us and all, and mostly me, because I suspect he disliked that I was weird. That I liked to dress like Christopher, do what he did, not... not the typical girl things. I mean, he went Berserk when he realized I was gay, so I guess I was never pleasing enough for him.”

“Wait...” Ali frowned in deep thought. “Your Mum said something about being with someone who forces you to have children, right? Was that a hint to...?” Ashlyn nodded.

“That's what I realized last night, that everything she warned you against, she was making a reference to what he did to her. Torture, own her, never letting her go... she was telling us.”

“But then she implied Curtis forced her into motherhood, what for if he was going to beat you up?”

“Because what's better than having one toy? Three. I imagine when he got to know Christopher he realized he could use him, that they could be mates and terrorize us together, double the fun, and maybe Christopher could get more girls, but then Chris never liked him, always avoided him... thus pissing him off. Yet, Chris was always the best treated by Curtis of all of us. We were all his property, to do with us whatever he wanted, to admire him and lick his ego... it must be the dream of every psychopath.”

“And then Chris, next you, started leaving the next,” Jimbo commented, sitting beside his wife. “It must've pissed him off.”

“Which is when he made a plan to keep the fun going for him, using Mum,” explained Ashlyn. “It was worthless to keep her in the house, because he had nothing to play her anymore. This is because I've realized that what he did to her, he wouldn't just beat her up, that wasn't enough, he'd psychologically torture her until he drove her to depression, drugs, alcoholism, suicide attempts, but how? Well... he made her separate for her children. Everything she did towards us, the way she suddenly seemed to hate us and don't want anything to do with family... I'm quite sure it was his doing. I'm quite sure he threatened with killing us or beating us up way worse than he did, unless she only showered him with attention, unless her eyes were only for him, and her time, and all else. But once we left there was nothing to keep her doing what he wanted, and he knew it. So he let her go, but then he terrorized her appearing now and then, just letting her see him, perhaps thinking she was going mad... I'm sure he still threatened her, forcing her to pretty much never leave her house, never see anyone, because if she didn't live only for him, then he'd kill anyone who came around, or hurt badly. And she knew he would be watching when we came.”

“That's why she warned me?” inquired Ali.

“I think at first she didn't notice you for real, because of the medication. I think she tried to push me away as usual, so I'd leave quick and don't be seen by him... but then she saw you, and she must've known you were in great danger by being with me, so she tried to make you leave me to stay safe, but she made sure to find a way to tell us what Curtis was doing. She couldn't write it down because she probably feared he'd be watching somewhere, and maybe she also feared he was listening, so no direct telling... but she could do so while making it look like she hated me, like she wanted me to suffer with you leaving, so Curtis would be pleased if he was listening. She was always very intelligent in her own way, after all. But I didn't think more about what she had said until you were attacked and I saw how involved he was, and then thought of her words, and understood how involved he had always been, for years. I think his involvement is the reason why she was trying to kill herself, she told me that way he'd have no more power, that she thought I'd be safe in the Air Force, and she had convinced Chris to get himself in a prison thinking he'd be safe there, so she thought she didn't have to worry about us anymore and she could go.”

As they started to understand the whole situation, the horror of what Tammye had lived for decades dawned on them and a tense silence filled the room. Jimbo, Tammye's big brother, had flopped on the big corner sofa next to his wife and now leaned forward, his face hidden in his hands while his wife rubbed comforting circles on his back. Grandma Eunice and Grandpa Mike sat with shocked expressions, full of sadness, Kyle shook his head in disbelief, and Corey and Brittany looked as if someone had slapped them hard. The rest of Ashlyn's cousins weren't there.

“We should've known...” Jimbo lamented hoarsely, his blue eyes full of tears. “Oh my God, my poor sister...”

“He can't get to her anymore, Jim. She's safe now, in peace,” Aunt Debra put her arms around her husband and kissed the top of his head, holding him close.

“She said she was sorry,” Ashlyn murmured. “She said she always loved me so much, and that she was so proud... she was just trying to protect us, and she thought if she didn't obey Curtis, he'd pay it out with us even worse than he was.”

“Ash...” Ali looked at her full of sadness and hugged her. Ashlyn nodded and hugged her back, taking a deep breath.

“I have to find Chris,” said Ashlyn, once Ali separated, reaching for her crutches on the floor, “he doesn't know what's happened yet, and if Mum told him to commit a little crime to get in prison, then he might've known more all along. I want to talk to him.”

“But you have to rest,” Grandma Eunice intervened motherly. “You've been up and down all night...”

“I'll go with her,” said Ali, helping her get the crutches. “I'll take care of her.” Grandma Eunice looked at the brunette and nodded, giving in.

“We'll be back soon, Nana.”

“Ashlyn,” Jimbo stood up and looked at her, “tell Chris that we love him, okay? Tell him we'll get him out of there, that we'll catch Curtis and he won't have to hide in a cell anymore.” Ashlyn nodded.

“Will do. Bye guys.”

“I'll drive you there, you're both too tired for that,” Kyle offered, and accompanied them outside, getting in his car. Ashlyn and Ali sat in the back, holding hands and leaning towards each other, and Kyle set the GPS and drove outside the city to the prison.

Ashlyn knew visiting hours would begin shortly and had already phoned to book a visit. She hadn't seen her brother in a very long time. They had been very close growing up, but then had drifted apart as their lives took them to separate places, and as he managed to get himself in trouble time and time again no matter how many times Ashlyn warned him against that.

At last, they arrived at the prison and while Kyle waited in a café nearby, Ashlyn and Ali strolled through the road and into the prison building. They were given stickers with their names and allowed inside a room with several tables and guards standing around. One of the guards guided them to one table for three, and they sat across an empty chair. Finally, the door opened and the guards started guiding handcuffed inmates inside, and Christopher Harris was sat in front of them.

His hair had grown a little abundant and was dark brown, paired with a thick beard. The tallness and broadness of his body added to this might've given him a fierce appearance, but as his eyes set on Ashlyn, his expression turned gentle and soft and his eyes filled with emotion.

“Ashlyn, you came,” Chris said, his voice way gentler than Ali had expected it to be.

“Sorry it took me so long,” Ashlyn reached to put a hand over his on the table, where the guards could see she wasn't passing him anything. “How's prison treating you, brother? Are you eating well?”

“Yeah,” the man was thin, but not too much to be concerning, “yeah, and the inmates are nice. None of us really got here for anything biggie, just robbery or unpaid taxes and shit... and everyone had good reasons, so we all sort of help each other out. It's not hard to make friends, really. And the food's okay.”

“Well that's good,” Ashlyn smiled. “This is my girlfriend, Ali.”

“It's nice to finally meet you,” Ali side smiled at him as he looked at her up and down.

“Yeah, I didn't even know my sis had a girlfriend! How did you find such a pretty lady, girl?” Chris turned to Ashlyn. “You bloody bastard...” Ashlyn chuckled.

“She found me, believe it or not. Unfortunately Chris, we're not here just for pleasure,” Ashlyn bit her lip, her tired hazel eyes seeking Christopher's brown ones. “Chris... is it true Mum made you come here?”

Chris looked down and sighed, shrugging.

“I was very high, and Mum kept telling me... she said I needed to get out of the streets. That if I could just commit a small crime, nothing too big, and turned myself in... then I'd be able to stay in a nice prison, just a few years, with a bed, a ceiling over my head and food on the table, and Curtis wouldn't be able to find me, nor the drugs. She said it'd help me recover and feel better and I...” he sighed again. “You were gone in the Air Force, and I was sick of looking over my shoulder for Curtis to appear, sick of never getting a good job, of never being able to focus enough to study and get a degree or something... I felt I was stuck in a hole, so I thought, you know what? It can't get worse. And it's not. This place is actually nice, you know? I'm not looking forward to getting out next year. I don't know what I'll do.”

“What do you think of coming with me to Orlando?”

“But won't you be out in deployments? Will you even trust me to be alone in your flat?”

“You didn't hear, uh?” Ashlyn moved a foot out of under the table and showed him the absence of the foot.

“Holly fucking...”

“Yeah. I'm not coming back, Chris. And even if I was, you just told me you never were interested in robbery, it was just a means to get here, so why not trust you?”

“You do make a point.”

“Curtis won't get his hands on you. We can be safe, together in Orlando, if you want.”

“Yeah,” Chris nodded and smiled small, “that'd be cool. But he's still out there, Ash... he'll find us eventually.”

“Let me handle that. I'll get some help from the Air Force, we'll catch him, police's already after him.”

“Police?” Chris frowned as he was utterly confused. “Why would the police be after him? There was never any evidence, he was very careful...”

Ashlyn and Ali exchanged a questioning look and Ali nodded.

“Chris... did you know all he did to Mum?”

“As much as you,” Chris looked only more confused. “He hit her and all, everyone knows.”

“Yes but did you know that the reason she grew distant with us was because he forced her? That he threatened with hurting us worse if she didn't distance from us and treated us like she did?”

Christopher's eyes widened and his eyebrows raised before he suddenly scowled, clenching his jaw.

“Son of a bitch, I'm going to fucking—,”

“Calm down,” Ashlyn squeezed his hand and looked at the guards uneasily. “Please, Chris. Remember where we are.”

Frustrated, Chris nodded and took a deep breath.

“He'll pay for everything he's done,” Ali reassured him.

“So you're on our side too? Not running away in fear?” Chris asked Ali with surprise in his voice.

“Damn right,” Chris smiled and looked at his sister.

“I like her sis.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ashlyn chuckled, then turned serious again. “Chris... police's after Mum because she confessed everything. And also, because he's committed murder, Chris.”

“Murder?” Chris scowled. “I knew he'd cross that line one day... who's the poor victim?”

“A nurse the family hired to check on Mum and take care of her... and also...” Ashlyn gulped. “He's killed Mum, Chris. The bastard killed Mum.”

The colour drained from Chris' face and he looked at her in deep shock.

“No... no, it cannot be...”

“I found her, he had tortured her and... she told me everything before she died. She said she loved me and all, that she was only particularly bitchy with me because Curtis hated me the most and made her...” Ashlyn sighed deeply. “I'm so sorry, Chris, but it was too late by the time the paramedics came. I tried to help her but... she had severe internal injuries I couldn't see. She died in my arms.”

“Why?” Chris looked devastated, his eyes full of tears. “I thought he wouldn't kill her, after all these years...”

“'Cause she was no use anymore. She refused to help him, she refused to tell him about Ali and I... he could no longer use her to have fun and torment us. She became expendable to him.”

  
  


  
  



	18. The L word

**Chapter 18: The L word.**

Ashlyn's features looked particularly peaceful despite the circumstances, unaffected by the sunlight hitting her as it came flying through the curtains. She frowned slightly now and then, but quickly resumed her relaxation as Ali softly rubbed her right arm up and down, her lips coming down to press slightly against the top of it, over the muscled biceps. She had been asleep for hours, and Ali had only awoken several minutes before, spooning her beneath the white sheets of Ashlyn's bed in the bedroom she still kept at her grandparents' house.

They were both as naked as they had arrived into the world, because none had brought pyjamas and the ones still in Ashlyn's bedroom were quite small for any of them, from when Ashlyn had still been under-age. Both of them had grown more, even more in muscle, and there was no way Ali's big muscled thighs would fit through the tiny shorts Ashlyn offered her, or that Ashlyn's developed arms would not rip the smaller sleeves that used to be enough years before.

But it was okay. It was hard to feel cold with Ashlyn's body next to her. The captain was always warm, like a large, soft oven, and even as Ali put her elbow down against the mattress to lift herself enough to contemplate her girlfriend properly, she felt just perfect.

“Alex?” Ashlyn's voice came a little hoarse when she had been asleep, but her eyes opening told Ali she was ready for the day.

“Good morning,” Ali leaned to kiss her cheek. “How did you sleep?”

“Not bad,” Ashlyn rolled to face her and smiled, cupping her face between her big hands as the sun illuminated Ali's chocolate brown eyes. “You really are a sight for my sore eyes.”

“Keeping up with you, nothing else,” Ali kissed her, enjoying the feeling of their lips pressing together for a few moments. I think your grandma made pancakes for afternoon snacks, since we missed lunch.”

Ashlyn sniffed the air and her eyes darkened.

“Pancakes,” she whispered under her breath, already sitting up. “Pancakes!” Ali laughed.

“You really are a case for investigation,” said Ali with an amused chuckle. “But before you go...” she wrapped her arms around Ashlyn from behind and brought her back against her front, collapsing backwards on the bed. “How are you truly dealing with things?” She whispered against her jaw, turning to see her profile.

Ashlyn let a long sigh out and put her hands over Ali's on her belly.

“I'm... feeling too much,” the younger woman admitted. “But more than angry, more than sad, more than frustrated... I'm beyond worried and anxious. I can't let him touch anyone else, Ali. He's killed two people, I just cannot let him do more.”

Ali looked sadly at her and kissed her cheek, squeezing her a little between her arms without minding her weight.

“But what are you gonna do?”

“I've phoned Abby, she's going to do everything in her power to stand up for me with the Air Force investigation so I don't have to worry about that for now, and I've phoned the Detective in charge of finding Curtis, we've spoken on the phone for a long time, I told him every little thing I know... and I thought he was very competent, very smart, quick-minded, honourable. Abby told me he's popular amongst her cop friends for being a very good cop, so I think the case is in good hands, but I told him anything I can do, will do. And I'm going to head out and print out thousands of 'Wanted' posters with a couple photos of his face, spread them all around town and in Orlando, and hope that'll scare him away from us for now and also get people to help us find him. A friend of mine works with digital profiling and he was able to take a photo of him and change it until it looks like how he is now, it's very realistic, so I'll use that, and put it next to one without beard and with shaven hair to also show how he is if he decided to shave it all out.”

“We'll tell everyone to help spread the posters. Leave no corner without his face.”

“Thank you, Al.”

Both of them sat up again and started getting dressed and fixing their hair. Before they left the room, Ali pulled her close once more.

“I meant what I said at the prison,” said Ali. “I'm not going to be scared away. I'm going to help you find him and make him pay for all he's done.”

Ashlyn saw the determination in her eyes and was both impressed and concerned. The last thing she needed was Ali risking her life for her.

“I know Alex, and I appreciate it so much but... promise me you won't endanger yourself for me. Promise me you'll remember who's the military woman here.”

It took Ali a moment, but at last she sighed and nodded.

“I'll behave,” Ali promised, and Ashlyn pecked her lips briefly.

“Thank you. Now let's get you to eat some, how's that throat?” she opened the door for Ali and they both stepped into a small corridor.

“Better,” Ali said, her voice sounding with more strength. “I'm getting some warm tea though, that'll help...”

The two settled in the kitchen with Ashlyn's grandparents to have breakfast, and midway through it, Ali's mobile rang in Ashlyn's bedroom and she rushed to take the call. Kyle had left hours ago to go back to Miami, to his job and his life, that he couldn't put on hold for much longer, but he hadn't left without making them swear they'd call him if anything came up.

“So,” Ashlyn's grandfather looked up at Ashlyn with a small smirk, “you're serious about that girl, aren't you?”

“Papa!” Ashlyn blushed hard to her eyebrows, but nodded shyly. “Ali's by far the most wonderful person I've ever dated. I mean, look at her, there are a billion things she could be doing instead of hanging here with me and my problems. But she's put work and her whole life on hold for me, because she knows I need her... she's just perfect.”

“Well I hope you know things have to go two ways. You're going to have to compensate her for her sacrifices,” Grandpa Mike commented, sipping from his coffee. “Support her like she's supporting you, fiercely.”

“Of course. When Curtis' in prison, I'm going to make sure she gets back to work and be there every step of the way to cheer out for her, and the moment she can afford to take some time off, I'm taking her on a romantic trip to Europe. She's already excited about it.”

“Europe? Why not Hawaii, show her your roots?” inquired her grandmother. “And it's closer.”

“I thought about it, but Ali is severely attached to Germany, and I figured she'd be very excited to get back to it... she's one-quarter German, you see? Krieger. She even worked in Germany for a while, and she _loves_ it there. And I want to get to know her world, after all, she's been living in mine for our whole relationship and I'm curious about hers.”

“Good, pamper her, treat her properly,” Mike nodded in approval.

A couple minutes later, Ali came, her face looking stressed.

“Everything all right babe?” Ashlyn asked her, caressing her forearm as she sat next to her once more.

“Yes and no,” Ali sighed. “That was my accountant. Apparently my finances are a bit... not well.”

Ashlyn scowled in concern.

“Your finances? Why? I thought soccer paid you well.”

“And it did, but think about it, I haven't worked in over half a year, I'm always going abroad and doing volunteering, then holidays... I'm not extravagant, but it's true I've been spending more time a year not making money than making it, and my accountant already warned me four months ago. Now he says I better start making some money, or else I'll be bankrupt early next year.”

“Damn...” Ashlyn searched in her brain for ways to help her. “Can you get a teaching job now in the middle of the school year?”

“No. I'd have to get a camp going, which is due time I mean, I should've done one last month, but with everything that happened I couldn't plan for it...” Ali looked at her coffee hard in concentration. “But even the camp won't give me so much, I always try to make it the most affordable because they are families with kids, plenty of expenses, often even plane tickets to come... I'll have to ask my parents for some money just so I can breathe until I've made enough to be relaxed.”

“Wait, how much do you need?”

“To survive another six months until I've saved up enough with a couple camps and some advertisement deals... about ten thousand dollars. It should be enough to pay my monthly flat expenses and food, and if there are extras I can handle it with my own money. That way I could just expend what I'm loaned and save up every bit I make to get going afterwards, and eventually return the money. Uh, perhaps I can get a loan from the bank...”

“Oh, sweetie, they'll fry you up with the interests,” Grandma Harris said looking sadly.

“I'll give you the money,” Ashlyn resolved. “As a matter of fact, I'll give you double that amount, and that way you'll be entirely more relaxed. And I never will want you to return it.”

“Yeah, sure, I can't let you do that, babe,” Ali argued, her breakfast finished. “Twenty thousand dollars? That's a _ton_ of money, and you just lost a foot and cannot work for God knows how long, you need every penny more than I do. My family has money, it's okay, I'll ask five thousand to one parent and another five to the other, no problem.”

“Ali, come here,” Ashlyn crutched back to her bedroom and Ali followed, until they both sat on the verge of her bed with the door closed. Ashlyn put her crutches down on the floor and took her hands in her own, locking eyes. “Babe, look, let's analyse why you wound-up tight on money. You got injured in a career-ending way, and yet after all you must've spent in treatments to fully recover, you were so kind and selfless to spend the most of every single year afterwards doing volunteering. Travelling around paying expensive plane tickets, donating to others, giving yourself to others... you worried so much about what you could do for everyone else, making your prices affordable, teaching in public schools, giving away whatever you had... that you spent every million you probably had.”

“I wasn't like, super millionaire,” Ali corrected shyly. “I did have quite the ton of money to never worry about it, because it was just me and I barely had expenses... but not like, Lady Gaga level.” Ashlyn chuckled.

“I love that you're the kind of successful, rather big deal of a footballer, that instead of throwing money away on expensive cars and clothes, gives to everyone else. And I think it's the Universe's way of saying _thank you_ to put me in a situation where I can give you for free a big chunk of money, because you deserve it, it's the least you deserve.”

“But Ash, you have to look after yourself more, don't make the same mistake I made not paying attention to your accounts...”

“Oh I do pay far more attention to them than you did,” Ashlyn couldn't resist kissing her cheek, having her so close and so beautiful. “But you don't have to worry about me. Ali, you've made so many sacrifices for me. If it wasn't for me, your life wouldn't have been put on the line, and you would've proceeded with the Ali Krieger Football Camps in October like you wanted to, and maybe you wouldn't be worrying so much about money. You would already be planning a December camp, probably, and a monthly one all through next year to get yourself better financially. But you've put your whole life on hold for me, and I feel in enormous debt with you.”

“Nonsense, I do it 'cause I care about you, and you're in a really terrible situation, you saved my life and then lost a foot, and your job's going to have to change, and then your Mum... I've only done with any sensitive girlfriend would.”

“No,” Ashlyn said gently. “You've done what only Ali Krieger could do. Put everyone else before yourself. So let me do this one thing for you, please? If it makes you feel better, think it's the Universe's doing.”

Ali smiled small and sighed, shaking her head.

“But I don't want you to get in financial trouble for this...”

“I won't, trust me,” seeing her hesitation, Ashlyn decided to just tell her. “Alex... I'm a billionaire.”

The former defender's eyes widened and she looked up in disbelief.

“You what? But you live in a shoe box!”

Ashlyn couldn't help a roar of laughter.

“Ridiculous, isn't it?” Ashlyn chuckled. “You see, all through my football career I, like you, didn't spend much. I earned little, getting goalkeeping positions is really hard because even though a team may need three defenders at once, it only needs one GK to play, and I had to fight the spots hard and could never take my jobs for granted, so I was always living as if I was about to be bankrupt. Given that my family was very poor when I was little, I was just used to worrying about money and getting anxious with it. And then I got in the Air Force, and they paid better, and got quick promotions so I was paid better and better, and was always abroad on deployments so I didn't even bother to have my own place here for a bunch of years. I barely had expenses, the Air Force paid almost everything through deployments... Only last year did I get a flat and a car, but until then? Nothing. And then one day my bank calls saying I've reached the billionaire milestone and offering improvements and that stuff... and now I'll get a disabled in combat pension, so...” she shrugged. “Giving you twenty thousand dollars is, as you can imagine, nothing.”

Ali looked at her in disbelief and at last grinned and threw herself in her arms, hugging her tightly. Ashlyn smiled, hugging her back.

“Will it truly be OK by you? For real?”

“We can put it on paper if it makes you feel better,” Ashlyn said.

“But you will let me return it!”

“Not a chance Princess...”

“Ash!” Ali pouted at her, trying to convince her.

“Babe,” Ashlyn looked intently into her eyes, cupping her face. “I love you. I'd do anything for you, and I could never accept anything in exchange.”

Ali's jaw dropped. They hadn't said the 'l' word yet, but Ali had been thinking about it for a while. The intense nature of their lives and thus, their relationship, meant that things went a bit fast at times, and she had wanted to slow this one down a little, but truth was she had acknowledged she loved her for a while. How could she not? Ashlyn had saved her life, made her laugh, showered her with affection and understanding, treated her and her family like her own family, welcomed her into her flat and let her help her without arguing much... she truly did enjoy doing life with her.

“Shit, was it too soon?” Ashlyn panicked, misunderstanding her shocked expression. “Babe, I'm sorry, I thought it was good timing... I just... I can't help loving you. You've given me so much, you're so kind and so selfless... how could I not love you?”

“That's exactly what I was thinking,” said Ali, staring intently at her. “I wasn't panicking, I was thinking... how could I not love you?”

Ashlyn's eyes widened.

“Are you saying what I think...?” Ali smiled and nodded.

“I love you too, Ashlyn,” they both enthusiastically went for a kiss and collided in the middle for a heated kiss, hands already reaching out to grab each other and pull them closer.

As they finally separated to breathe, Ashlyn raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“Y'know, I can think of a couple ways to celebrate...”

A playful giggle left Ali's lips as she blushed, still holding Ashlyn's face in her hands.

“Your grandparents are in the house!”

“Then you better be quiet, uh?”

Their lips helplessly found each other again and this time Ali moved to lie backwards, pulling Ashlyn on top.

  
  


  
  



	19. Ali's side

**Chapter 19: Ali's side.**

As they awaited news about Curtis, Ashlyn and Ali decided to return to Orlando, changing location to Ali's flat, the one Curtis didn't know yet. Ali helped her girlfriend pack a couple suitcases and a bag, and drove her to her own flat, about as big, and more in the suburbs area. Tammye's funeral wouldn't be just yet, as they had allowed for an autopsy to see if police could gather some evidence against Curtis, as they only had Ashlyn's word.

“So where do I sleep?” Ashlyn asked innocently as she crutched around the flat to get acquainted with it so it'd be easier to hop around when her arms got tired from the crutches.

“With me, right?” Ali frowned, confused, and Ashlyn laughed, finding her adorable.

“I was just teasing you,” Ashlyn conceded, leaning to kiss her. “God, I love you.” Ali beamed right at her.

“What a coincidence, I love you too,” Ali joked. “So, are you starting physiotherapy this week? What are you going to learn?”

“Yes, I ought to learn how to move around, you know, without a foot. Showering, everything, as helplessly as possible,” Ashlyn explained. “Gain some independence. And we're going to start trying out some prosthesis, just checking the options.”

“But is your leg ready for that? What if the wound reopens?”

“It's completely healed now, and I won't be putting on my full weight, I'll be on crutches.”

“Well, okay,” Ali took a deep breath and put her arms around her waist, leaning against her chest in a careful hug as they stood in the small living room. “I'm so glad you're here.”

Ashlyn pressed her lips against the top of her head.

“I'm happy to be here. So, did you start planning those camps yet?”

“Yes, the company is on it,” Ali tried to contain a yawn, but it just came out big, making Ashlyn chuckle. It had gotten a little late as they settled Ashlyn's things in drawers and closets and had a late dinner.

“Come on Princess, let's get you some beauty sleep.”

As usual, Ashlyn occupied the right side of the bed and Ali the left one, just like they had grown used to in Ashlyn's flat. This time, however, it was Ashlyn who pulled Ali into her arms and kept her close, falling asleep closely behind her with her tattooed arms protectively wrapped around her.

But unlike the usual thing, Ashlyn's sleep lasted very little. She was awoken just hours after she had fallen asleep with a hammering pain in her head and an agonizing pain in her stump that made her groan and clench her jaw and eyes. She was in so much pain she couldn't even speak, she just rolled on her back and grabbed onto her leg, that hurt five times more than her head, as she looked down to make sure there was nothing there grabbing her.

It didn't seem like Ali had accidentally kicked her. The brunette had curled into a ball next to her, so it was clear her leg hurt on its own. Ashlyn knew it could happen; it wasn't a first. Her doctor had spoken to her about phantom limb pain, when the brain still pictured the leg there and the pain could be as if her leg was being crushed in the moment, and usually her high pain tolerance was enough to keep her sane, but this time she was finding her limit, and as she willed herself to take deep breaths, Ashlyn reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on, sitting up. With her hands trembling from the utter pain, she grabbed onto her stump folding one leg over the other and saw it wasn't reddened or swollen. She massaged it, trying to will her brain to see there was nothing broken. She knew medication wouldn't do much; there wasn't nothing to heal, so she just prayed it'd be enough.

“Babe?” Ali's sleepy voice came and Ashlyn chastised herself internally for waking her up. “Everything okay?”

“No,” Ashlyn admitted, knowing lying would only damage their relationship, “it— urghm...” she clenched her teeth in pain, shutting her eyes close.

“Are you in pain?” she felt movement behind her and soon, Ali's hand posed on her shoulder. “Shit, it really does hurt, uh?” Ashlyn could only nod. “I'll get you some painkillers.”

Ashlyn didn't have the strength to tell her it wouldn't work. She simply let her go and come back, pressing the pill against Ashlyn's lips until the captain swallowed it, and then she surprisingly felt ice cold against her stump. Looking down, she saw Ali was sitting on the floor icing her leg very gently.

Slowly, the pain started to recede and her headache became dull, while her stump's pain transformed into a palpitating one coming in short waves and feeling more like uncomfortable pressure than actual pain. Relieved, Ashlyn let her head fall back against the mattress and took deep breaths, calming herself.

“You can stop now, thank you,” she said at last, when she felt much better. Ali returned the remaining ice to the kitchen and helped her move to lie on her side, curling behind her and wrapping her arms around the captain.

“Is there nothing the doctor can do about those?” Ali asked, kissing her shoulder.

“We're trying with medication, but... it doesn't usually work. It must've been your healing touch, you always make me feel better,” Ashlyn smiled tiredly, holding her hand. Ali smiled back, and hugged her a little tighter. “I'm sorry I woke you up, I was trying not to.”

“Well don't, I want to wake up when you do, even if it's just so you're not suffering alone. You should never feel sorry about waking me up, you should feel completely entitled to wake me up. I want you to.”

“You're too kind.”

“I'm nothing you don't deserve. Come on, try to sleep some now.”

This time around, Ashlyn did manage to sleep and she did so until late in the morning, she woke up by herself, the bed already empty beside her. She reached for her crutches and slowly made her way to the bathroom for her typical morning pee and face wash. As Ashlyn came out, she heard Ali's voice in the living room, where she was talking on the phone. She observed her for the threshold, staring at the woman who had her back turned to her, pacing around the room as she talked quietly.

“...I'll be fine with Ash, Mum, she's a real sweetie, we'll sort something out over here... yeah, I know it's Thanksgiving but things are a little rocky with her father, so it might be safer to stay here...” Ali turned around as she paced, and saw Ashlyn, smiling immediately at her as she mouthed 'Good Morning' and listened to her mother. “Okay Mum, I've got to go. I'll call you in ten minutes, okay? Ash just got up. Love you, bye,” she hung up and grinned walking over to Ashlyn and wrapping her arms around her neck, kissing her soundly.

“I didn't mean to pry,” Ashlyn murmured against her lips.

“That's fine. Mum was asking about Thanksgiving plans.”

“Right! It must be almost here, right? Is it next week?”

“Tomorrow,” Ali giggled at Ashlyn's stupefied expression. “I know, time flies.”

“Shit, we haven't even bought anything... I guess we could get a nice bottle of wine and go to my grandparents' house,” Ashlyn pursed her lips in thought. “Or we could celebrate on our own... I'm sure I could get us reservations somewhere.”

“Or,” Ali shrugged, “we could head over to Miami and spend it with my Mum. She invited us over, it'll just be Kyle, her husband, and us. I was going to say no, but then I thought... your father won't find us there.”

“All right,” Ashlyn nodded, smiling small. “We'll do that. It's time you see your family, after all.” She kissed her once more. “Breakfast?”

They got dressed and packed as soon as they had eaten breakfast to head to Miami already. Ali drove her little Audi the several hours it took to reach Miami, while Ashlyn controlled the car music and played pretend drums in the air as she yelled lyrics alongside the music, making Ali roar of laughter.

Debbie Christopher lived in a nice apartment building right by the beach, a tall white tower surrounded by gardens. Ali looked for a parking spot and then while Ashlyn crutched with a backpack on, Ali pulled from the suitcase they had used to prepare for a couple days in Miami. Ashlyn was admittedly a little nervous to get Ali's family's approval, but if Debbie was anything like her daughter, she knew she'll be fine.

And she wasn't wrong. When Debbie appeared at the door, Ashlyn was momentarily struck speechless by the uncanny resemblance to her daughter. She also found it strange that she found the woman beautiful, a thought of 'if Ali's like this when she gets older, I'm not going to mind it one bit' making her blush.

“So you must be Captain Ashlyn Harris, Alex won't shut up about you,” Debbie grinned at her after hugging her daughter.

“Guilty,” Ashlyn side-smiled. “I hope you've heard things at least half as good as those I've heard about you.”

Debbie laughed and pulled her into a careful hug, minding Ashlyn's crutches.

“Hi Alex!” a white-haired man pulled Ali into a hug. “You've gotten a nice tan in the Philippines!”

“Hi Mark!” Ali hugged her step-father, who, once Ali left him to bone-crush her brother, smiled at Ashlyn and offered a hand that Ashlyn shook, grabbing her crutch with her armpit.

“Nice to meet you, Sir,” said Ashlyn politely.

“Sir? Call me Mark,” the man chuckled. “I like this one.”

Lunch was already set on the table when they arrived, so they sat around, Ashlyn finding a seat by Kyle, who had already bone-crushed her as well, and in front of Ali, who smiled warmly at her from her seat between her mother and step-dad.

“Glad to see those bruises are already fading,” Mark commented, taking a look at Ali's neck. “Feeling better too?”

“Yeah, thankfully Ashlyn was there to save my neck once more, it's becoming a tradition,” Ali smiled warmly at Ashlyn.

“Nonsense, you know it's my fault you were endangered to begin with. Hopefully police will arrest the bastard in a matter of hours or days,” Ashlyn politely kept her elbows off the table and sat straighter, making sure to show her good military manners.

“I'm sorry the guy happens to be your father, Ashlyn,” Debbie commented tactfully, “it can't be easy to have a criminal for a father.”

“It's fine, to me he is not more of a father than any stranger who I may cross paths with in the street. My grandparents are the ones who truly made me the woman I am, until I couldn't miss a father figure.”

“You know, I grew up in Melbourne, just by Satellite Beach,” Mark commented as he ate. “Beautiful place for sure.”

“Oh, I had no idea! So you're Floridian?” Ashlyn asked with interest.

“No, I'm Virginian. But my family moved here when I was just a teenager, so I've spent most of my life in Melbourne, and then Debbie and I decided Miami was just right for us.”

“One cannot possibly say no to Florida beaches, am I right?” Debbie chuckled at Ashlyn, who smiled in return.

“You'd love Ashlyn's family, Mum,” Ali pointed out as she ate. “Her grandparents, and uncles and cousins. They're such nice people, quite the protective pack.”

“We're virtually like beavers,” Ashlyn said looking amused. “You know, they actually mate for life and form quite the big families in one same home, everyone's welcomed, and they help and protect each other.”

“Top class definition, babe,” Ali laughed.

“Are you also all super hairy?” Kyle teased jokingly.

“More or less, but we sure love water,” Ashlyn replied with a laugh.

“So, Ashlyn, will you go back to piloting?” Mark asked, swallowing down. “I've heard with prosthesis it's possible, right?”

“I could, yeah,” Ashlyn shrugged. “But actually, I was thinking that with how things are home, I should do myself a favour and stay away from more stressful situations.”

“What do you mean?” Kyle inquired.

“I'm not going to pilot anymore,” sentenced Ashlyn. “At least not professionally. I'll get the prosthesis, but I'll focus on getting a life as normal as possible, recovering my independence and self-sufficiency, learning to walk and run all over again... I'm not hurrying myself to get back in a plane. And I was actually thinking I'd love to stay in Florida. I want to be the aunt I dreamed of being to my nephews and niece, I want to be present for my family... it's been too many years away, after all. I think it'd be nice to see some of Ali's football, learn to surf again... and not have to worry about being killed for a while.”

Ali grinned at her, remembering how Ashlyn had told her how much she missed home, how many times she had thought about quitting.

“What about the people you leave behind?” Ali asked softly. Ashlyn smiled small and shrugged again.

“I thought about that, and I no longer think it's fair to leave _my_ people behind for anyone. Who knows, perhaps if I had been around, I would've understood what was happening with Mum sooner... maybe she'd still be alive,” she sighed. “I'm not about to risk it anymore. Besides, I think it's time I trust there's always going to be someone out there ready to save the day for me.”

“I wouldn't have said it any better,” Ali toasted to her. “Here's to the wonderful future you have ahead.” Ashlyn grinned.

“Cheers!”

Hours later, both women got some alone time quietly strolling around the beach by the seashore, enjoying the breeze of the ocean, the way the waves came and went, and the sand beneath their feet. Ashlyn, as usual, did her best ignoring the passerbys who felt the need to point at her stump and make comments or faces, and Ali did her best distracting her and keeping her feeling good.

“I'm so glad you're here,” Ali said grinning at her with the dusk behind her.

“Me too,” Ashlyn grinned back. “Your family's really nice.”

“I'd hope so,” Ali pointed to a bench for them to sit, and put an arm around Ashlyn's shoulders, using her hand to play with the blonde waves, contemplating the captain.

“What'ya looking at?”

“How beautiful you are.”

“Smooth, Krieger,” Ashlyn chuckled, kissing her. “What a shame we can't have kids with both of our DNAs, they'd be fucking stunning.”

“Right,” Ali laughed. “So... before, when you were talking about the future... it sounded as if you no longer want to be in the Air Force. Have you seen any job offers you liked?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn nodded, and looked nervous for a moment, “I called Abby the other day... apparently I could get a good position as a Public Affairs Officer at the Air Force. With my rank and my experience, I'd get a really good salary like, exceptionally good, easy promotion opportunities, and a lot of stability. I could work at the office most of the time, and I'd only have to travel once or twice a month for very short periods like, one or two days at a time, sometimes more if there was a huge, unusual situation.”

“You doing office work?” Ali side smiled. “I'd have to see that.”

“It's actually a cool job... I got to study Communications with the Air Force, so it fits in my knowledge field. I'd be giving communications advise, handling communication between Air Force and the government or civilians or journalists, giving press conferences, handling communication strategies... it's not all boring office job.”

“Well sweetie, if it is what you truly want, then I support you. You're the one that has to love it,” Ali supported her. “I'll stand by you every step of the way, you know that.”

“I probably wouldn't begin until January anyway, 'cause of the leg and I have to clear this whole investigations issue first, but... if it happens, I'm excited. Something not so stressful, you know? 'Cause my anxiety's a bit out of control lately, and I'd really appreciate... just chilling a little.”

“Of course,” Ali squeezed her hand.

“Which leads me to the next part...” Ashlyn seemed even more nervous. “If I land the job... I'd have to move to Tampa. It's the closest location available.”

“Oh,” Ali sighed. “Well, it's just two hours away or something like that. We'd manage.”

“I was actually wondering...” Ashlyn bit her lip nervously. “Would you... would you come with me? I know I'm literally asking you to leave everything, and I'll completely understand if it's not what you want but... you, me, a house together in Tampa, a life together...” she shrugged timidly. “I'd want that. Even if we're going too fast or whatever. I'd want that.”

She didn't dare to look at Ali in the eyes, but after a moment of silence, Ashlyn slowly looked up to face Ali. The brunette looked surprised at first, but then she grinned from ear to ear.

“New year, new everything, uh? Sounds like something I could get on board with,” Ali said cheerfully. This time, Ashlyn was the one caught off-guard.

“Really?”

“You, me... a house together...” Ali caressed her cheek. “I could get a teaching position easily in Tampa, do my camps, maybe train some junior team... forget about volunteering for a while. And maybe, come home to you at the end of the day, and have some stability and... chilling time for once. I would love that.”

Ashlyn immediately felt like a dragon inside of her had stood up spitting fire, proudly, and she beamed.

“For real?!” Ashlyn squealed, making her laugh. “Ali! This is going to be the coolest life in the world, you'll see.” Not finding the right words, she resorted to simply kissing her, and hoping that would say it all.


	20. Family affairs

**Chapter 20: Family affairs.**

Ali woke up feeling a dreamy smile in her face before her eyes had even opened. Slowly, she registered the sound of Ashlyn's voice as the blonde talked on the phone, sitting on the verge of the bed, her naked back turned to her. Ali's smile got broader as she contemplated her favourite back in the world, fit, freckled, with tattoos peeking from her side and her arms.

“Leave it to me, I can reason with him. I will. There's no need to endanger anyone else,” Ashlyn was saying, which immediately made Ali's smile vanish. “I'll be right there.” She hung up and turned around, feeling herself being observed. She saw Ali's look, and smiled sadly. “I'm sorry Princess, I've got to go.”

“But it's Thanksgiving,” Ali pouted. “What's so urgent.”

“It's Curtis,” Ashlyn sighed. “He's kidnapped a high school in Orlando. He says he's put explosives all around, and if they shoot him, they'd blow automatically because he's got some attached. He demands Christopher's freedom and free escape to Panama or else he'll blow it all up.”

“What?” Ali sat up right away, and Ashlyn was already getting dressed. “It has to be a trick, right?”

“That's what my Colonel was asking me, but I doubt it is. He knows about explosives, for a short time he worked as an explosives manager for a demolitions company. I need you to please drive me to the airport sweetie, the Air Force has a jet waiting for me at the airport.”

“Okay, let's go.”

Ali jumped off the bed to get ready and help Ashlyn get ready, and then both of them stormed to the kitchen.

“Happy Thanksgiving, we're leaving,” said Ali pushing Ashlyn's wheelchair, because it was faster than crutches.

Debbie and Mark, who were in their pyjamas drinking coffee at the kitchen island, looked up and frowned.

“Leaving where?” asked Debbie.

“I'm so sorry Debbie, but my father's done something nuts and I'm required in Orlando, there's no time to explain,” said Ashlyn putting on her flight jacket. “We'll call you when we land.”

“What?”

“I love you,” Ali kissed her mother's cheek and ran to push Ashlyn out the flat. “We'll call soon! Sorry!”

The women rushed to the car and while Ashlyn got comfortable in the copilot seat, Ali shoved the wheelchair in the trunk.

“Let's go,” Ashlyn pulled her messy hair in a tight bun as Ali drove to the airport.

“I'm coming with you, you know?” Ali said, eyes fixed on the road as she hit the pedal.

“All right,” Ashlyn agreed.

“No arguing?”

“What for? As if I could tell a tiger what to do.”

Ali laughed and nodded in approval.

“That's my girlfriend.”

It took forty-five minutes for the jet to land in Orlando, and by then a car was already waiting for them. The Air Force drove them without making questions, fast to downtown Orlando, where police had cordoned an entire street, filled with police and Air Force cars. Civilians already crowded around the cordoning, looking with curious eyes, alongside the press.

“How did the Air Force get jurisdiction here?” Ali asked as she passed Ashlyn the crutches and they abandoned the car.

“When they realized the nutter was no other than my father, they convinced police to let them send a couple of their people, and let me handle the situation. I've got training in high-risk negotiations, and I'm his daughter. Colonel!”

Colonel Frank Weaton stood behind a wall of police cars in front of a high school, chatting with who looked like an Orlando PD Captain.

“Captain Harris, this is Captain Geller,” Colonel Weaton pointed to the policewoman, whose hand Ashlyn shook, standing on one foot.

“Colonel says if anyone can get this nutter under control it's you?” Captain Geller, tall, black and with fierce eyes, stared at Ashlyn.

“Yes Captain, you see, he's my estranged father. I know him well, I know he's capable of blowing up this entire street, we cannot risk one fool movement,” said Ashlyn. “I only regret having been in Miami, otherwise I would've been here way sooner.”

“Let's not lose time then,” Captain Geller handed her a bulletproof vest. “Do whatever it takes Captain, but don't let a child die. If you think you can't handle this, we have a team specialized in hostage situations...”

“Trust me, Captain Geller, no specialized team can deal with my father, no matter how good they are,” Ashlyn handed Ali the vest. “You wear this.”

“But Ash...”

“I'll be back,” Ashlyn kissed her cheek and despite the crutches, advanced full of confidence past the police barrier to the tall high school building, until she stood a few metres before the locked doors. The entire street seemed to quiet down seeing her make a move. “Curtis! Come out, we have some family talking to do!” Ashlyn roared at the top of her lungs.

A couple seconds passed by and Curtis appeared at a window in the first floor, in front of Ashlyn. He immediately laughed at the sight, and Ashlyn could see he was wrapped-up in explosive material attached to a vest. If anyone hit him or shot him and he fell to the ground, the mere contact of the explosives with the floor would make it all explode.

“Look at that!” Curtis looked amusedly at her. “Can't believe they sent you!”

“Really? Isn't this what you wanted?” Ashlyn retorted, glaring at him. “Me begging at your feet sounds just like your type of tun-on.”

“Don't be stupid, girl,” Curtis pulled a teenager into view, pressing a gun against the boy's head. “I'll start killing kids one by one if I don't get what I want. And then I'll blow-up this whole street, how about that?”

“And then what?” inquired Ashlyn. “Chris will still be in prison. I'll still be out of your reach, and even if you managed to kill me, you know I'm not scared of death. And you'll be dead too.”

“You think I care about surviving?” Curtis laughed. “I've lived long enough. I'll go happily to my grave if it means I didn't go down alone. One last opportunity to fuck up you and this government.”

“I see,” Ashlyn nodded. “We're going to have to make a deal then.”

“You know I'm a man of my word, for better or worse,” said Curtis. “Give me a private jet, full of combustible, that flies Chris and I to Panama, and free him, and no one will be hurt. I won't shoot anybody, I won't make anything explode. All these kids will go home in one piece, that's a promise. But I want my part.”

“I cannot do that, Curtis,” said Ashlyn, raising her voice so he heard her clearly. “I would if I could. Nothing would make me happier than seeing Chris go free, and you get away to Panama and leave me the fuck alone. But unfortunately, we know how the system works. Even if we convinced a judge, I'd take at least a couple days to release him, and even if the Air Force was willing to lend you a jet, I wouldn't trust the police here. They'll find away to get to you, you'll always be a fugitive. You know I keep my word, but it doesn't mean others will.”

“Then I will have to start ki—,”

“Wait! I have a proposition for you!” Ashlyn interrupted him. “There's a jet at the Orlando Airport with at least enough combustible to get you to Cuba. It just took me here. I can't get Christopher's release now, but I am pushing to get him released soon, and in the meantime, you could be in Cuba, where we won't interfere. And from there you can go anywhere else. Brazil, Venezuela... many Nazis ran to Latin America, I don't see why they'd have a problem with you. And when Chris is free, which he will be, you can contact him to join you, I will leave you alone.”

Curtis looked interested, like a hawk looking at a prey. The boy he had was sweating cold and looking panicked, and Ali frowned in concern, looking at Ashlyn in the distance.

“How do you suggest doing that? You just said the Air Force won't help.”

“They won't give you a pilot, but I am a pilot, remember? I'll fly you away myself. The Air Force won't attack a plane with one of their own inside, and they won't have to ask anyone innocent to fly it. I will do it. I'm sure I can get the Colonel to let me do it, right Colonel?”

She looked back and the Colonel nodded, putting his faith on her. But Curtis laughed.

“You can't pilot without a foot!”

“You're wrong,” Ashlyn argued. “Don't make the mistake of undermining me once more, Curtis. I can and will pilot without a foot. Besides, with you there, I could give you instructions so we could fly it together, it wouldn't even take us two hours to get there, Curtis.”

“How do I know no one will try to kill me? We still need a safe route to the airport!”

“We'll borrow a police car you can drive for me. You can take me as your hostage, and with the siren on we'll be there in no time,” Ashlyn planned at fast speed.

“Can she do this?” Ali whispered to Colonel Weaton and Captain Geller. “Will you let her?”

“It appears we have no choice,” grumbled Captain Geller.

“We'll arrest him at the airport. We just need to keep him away from innocents.”

“But he could kill Ashlyn if you try!”

“She's assuming the risk,” said Colonel Weaton, and Ali glared at him, horrified.

“Fine!” Curtis accepted. “But I'll keep my explosives and if anyone tries anything, I'll blow myself up with you and whoever's close! I'll collide the plane!”

“I take the risks!” Ashlyn retorted. “But you have to disconnect the explosives in the school! Give me your word!”

“I'll do it! I'll just keep the ones on me! Go kid,” he pushed the boy away and rushed into the school. After a few minutes, he left the school by the front door, still armed with a gun he pointed at Ashlyn.

“How do I know you've disconnected the school explosives?” inquired Ashlyn, glaring at him.

“Have I ever not done what I said I'd do?”

“Unfortunately no.”

“Now keep walking,” he pressed the gun against the back of Ashlyn's head and followed her as she slowly but surely crutched towards the car she had just vacated.

“Step away, everyone! If anyone tries anything, I'll kill them myself!” Ashlyn snapped angrily at the multitude, walking out. Ali followed as closely as she could, getting into another car with the police captain and the Colonel.

They kept a good distance with Ashlyn's car, that had the sirens on, but never lost sight of them. The Colonel was making phone-calls to the airport, getting them to let Ashlyn and Curtis inside to the landing ground, where the jet was still waiting.

Police surrounded the car as Ashlyn and Curtis vacated it by the jet. Curtis saw and in a quick move, threw Ashlyn over his shoulder, pressing the gun against her spine.

“Be fools and she's paraplegic, if not dead!” Curtis threatened them. Ashlyn didn't try to resist, knowing there was nothing to do, so Ali observed in horror as the jet's piloting team left the jet and Curtis climbed into it, with Ashlyn on her shoulder.

They stood around the plane and observed powerlessly as it started moving.

“Your Captain is not just about to give freedom to a psychopath, right?” Captain Geller said glaring at the Colonel.

“I've got no idea what she's planning to do, but I trust her,” said the Colonel. “I'll have a couple of our guys watch over in the skies.”

“She has a plan,” Ali assured, seeing the plane fly into the sky. “I know she does.”

Meanwhile, Ashlyn was sweating cold in the plane, buckled into the pilot seat with Curtis sitting in the other, pressing the barrel of the gun against her temple. She could see the sky and the clouds in front of her, and tried to focus on that. It was hard to pilot without a foot, but she had forced herself to do it, even if she knew it wasn't very safe. She had no choice but to operate everything with one foot and Curtis' help.

She started thinking of a plan fast, knowing she didn't have enough combustible to get to Cuba. There was only enough to maybe, get back to Miami, and Curtis was bound to notice at some point. With the plane stabilized in the air, she put the automatic mode.

“It's on automatic now, it'll be able to fly solo for a few minutes,” said Ashlyn, unbuckling herself. “I need to use the bathroom.”

“My ass, if you think I'm letting you...”

“Look, I'll pee here,” said Ashlyn glaring at him. “But the cabin will stink for two hours. You can also shoot me, but you'll need an experienced pilot to land, it's way harder than take off, I guarantee. And you'll need an experienced pilot to speak with the radio controllers. If no one hears me when they inevitably talk to us, I'm sure the Colonel is ready to shoot this plane down.”

“And risk us squashing a city?”

“Sweetie, they'll make us such dust, we won't squash anyone,” said Ashlyn calmly, and Curtis clenched his jaw. “I told you they're not ones to keep their word. I am.”

“Fine, go to the damn bathroom. But be fast!”

“Right,” Ashlyn rolled eyes and holding onto walls and chairs, leaped towards the back of the plane. The crutches had remained in the landing ground, thanks to Curtis. Once in the bathroom, she closed the door and rummaged behind the toilet, where she had hid her small gun. It was one she always took with herself, and, planning she may need the jet when they came to Orlando, she had hid it there before, just in case.

She hid the tiny weapon in her flight jacket, and returned to the pilot seat.

“All done?” Curtis growled.

“Yes. We'll be near Miami soon, and from there it's just a few minutes,” said Ashlyn, calmly piloting again. “I'm going to need you to get to the back for a moment though.”

“Yes sure.”

“I'm serious, Curtis. I'm piloting a fucking jet on my own, footless, I need a hand. In the closet over there, just by the door, there's a map with the air routes of the day,” Ashlyn invented. “I need it to avoid crashing with another plane.”

“Can't you use these machines for that?”

“I could if we were an authorized flight, but we aren't. I'm gonna need that map, urgently.”

“But you didn't ask for that before!”

“I knew the Orlando routes, I live there, but this area is out of my expertise!” Ashlyn complained. “Look, I can grab them myself before you make a mess there, but I can't leave the plane in automatic when I'm not sure another plane will suddenly appear. Or a high tower. I need to keep my eyes on the clouds.”

“Bitch,” Curtis unbuckled herself and went to the closet, rummaging. “I only see glasses and food, stupid shit...”

“How do you expect to find anything one-handed? Leave the gun, you won't fucking need it. Does it look like I'm going anywhere?”

Curtis glared at her and growled, putting the gun he had on a shelf and returning to the closet, putting half his torso inside.

“Damn it I can't see anything!”

“Oh you're fucking useless or what?!” Ashlyn complained. “I swear if we crash now, I'm fucking murdering you...”

Curtis focused on his tasks between grumbles and cursing and Ashlyn eyed the door next to him as she flew towards a lake. She eyed the lock. She wasn't sure it'd be so easy, but if it didn't work they'd both die and fall into the lake. No innocent lives lost. Carefully, she put the plane in automatic and checked Curtis was still busy as she pulled out her own gun and aimed at the lock.

“Mum, help me,” she whispered under her breath, and shot. The door slammed open, and a huge noise came into the jet as the door sucked everything it could outside. Ashlyn clenched her jaw praying her belt would do the job, and Curtis shouted and was sucked out. Just as he was suspended in the air extending an arm to try and grab the door, Ashlyn made an effort to aim again, and shot him. And then, he exploded in the air, the expansive wave pushing the jet away a few metres.

  
  



	21. Mayday

**Chapter 21: Mayday.**

“Mayday, mayday!” Ashlyn roared into the radio, stretching to shut the cabin door close and try to keep that room okay. Her oxygen mask had dropped from the ceiling and she secured it around her head as the plane de-pressurized fast. “A223's door is open!” Ashlyn attempted to shout despite the mask.

“Harris, is it you?” Colonel shouted through the radio. “What's going on?”

“Curtis' dead but the door's open, I'm on oxygen,” Ashlyn rushed to answer, separating the mask a little from her mouth to be heard. She had to grab hard hold of the controls, as the plane started to go crazy. “I'm losing control, I'm going to do emergency landing, tell me where! Emergency landing in Orlando, NOW!”

She saw the ground coming closer and closer as the plane wouldn't recover height no matter what she tried.

“Land on Lake Kissimee, is right below you!” Colonel Weaton instructed her. “You're low enough, you can do this Harris! I trust you!”

“Can't I try a road?” Ashlyn asked with a hint of desperation.

“You're dropping too fast, you don't have time and I can't evacuate this fast! You've done this in training before, get the job done!”

Ashlyn nodded to herself, gripping the controls so hard her knuckles went white. She was feeling a headache from de-pressurization.

“Sir!” Ashlyn yelled on a last thought, seeing the water mass close. “Is Ali there?”

“I'm here my Love,” Ali's voice sounded through the radio all of the sudden. “I know you can do this. I'm here, okay?” her voice sounded with restraining anguish, and Ashlyn made a last effort to pull the plane up, but it was just dropping.

“I love you Alex,” Ashlyn said clearly, leaning into the radio.

“I love you too. Come home now.”

She didn't have her lucky amulet on her neck, but Ashlyn felt lucky. She had Ali, after all, which was even better than the old shark. With sweaty palms, she pulled to prevent the jet from crashing face first and with a loud thud and a hit so hard that she almost broke her teeth on the controls, the belly of the jet hit the water and after a few moments, the jet stopped moving.

With shaking hands, Ashlyn hopped to get a life-vest that she put on, and unleashed the toboggan to slide out of the jet and into the water, that was freezing cold.

“Oh God,” Ashlyn did her best to swim to the coast of the huge lake, not knowing when the jet would explode, if it did. She had a vague feeling one of the motors had exploded in the air, but she had tried not to think about it while managing to land. “Mum, if you get me out of this one alive, I'll fucking start eating cauliflower, even though it's disgusting and it really shouldn't exist.” She mumbled, trying to get her mind off of how cold she was.

She had only swam for a few metres when the jet exploded with a big roar, making the water turbulent with waves. She looked back at the jet on flames and smiled to herself. The Air Force was going to have her neck, but it was bloody fun and now her father was nothing but guts floating in the air. Then, Ashlyn heard an helicopter hover over her, and she waved up.

“Right here! Sharks don't like lakes!” she joked and, full of adrenaline, she couldn't help but bursting into laughter at the craziness of what she had just done.

**. . .**

“There you are!” Ashlyn barely had a second before Ali had hugged her in a bone-crushing hug, the moment she was lifted into the helicopter with a long rope. “I'm so proud of you! I was so worried!”

“Believe me, I've never been happier to see you,” Ashlyn chuckled, hugging her tight, both kneeling on the helicopter floor. “My love...” she kissed her cheek and Ali hugged tighter.

“All right, let her breathe,” Colonel Weaton appeared with thick towels she handed Ashlyn who, with Ali's help, wrapped them around herself tightly. “That was incredible, Harris. Although I'm sure you know you just burned millions with that jet.”

“I know Sir,” Ashlyn let Ali hug her for extra warmth over the towels.

“What happened?” asked the Colonel, eyeing her.

“I had a plan all along. I hid a gun in the toilet before, when we came,” Ashlyn explained, shaking a little less between Ali's arms. “I distracted Curtis and shot the door, opening it so he was ejected out. And I shot him midair so he would explode in the air, and not on the ground. All of this while flying over lakes to make sure in any case he'd fall in water, not near civilians. I'm sorry for the trouble, Sir, but he's far too sneaky, there wasn't another way.”

“Right,” the man squatted by their side as the helicopter returned to the airport. “Why didn't I know your father was a criminal?”

“There wasn't any evidence against him before, Sir, no record,” said Ashlyn. “He always sneaked away. But he abused my brother and myself, and he killed our mother. I know it, and he knew it. He had this coming.”

The colonel went to speak, but Ali interrupted him.

“With all due respect, Sir, Ashlyn just survived a plane crash and she's soaked, I think questions can wait?”

He eyed her for one moment, and then shrugged.

“Got yourself a good one, Harris,” he said, standing and going back into the cabin where the pilot was. Ashlyn chuckled at Ali, her lips purple from the cold.

“I know.”

“Come on, beautiful. Let's get you out of those soaked clothes.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Alex.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.” Ali grinned, kissing her once more.

Ashlyn sat in her underwear on a chair for the rest of the flight, wrapped in towels with the rest of her clothes in a bag in front of her. Ali sat beside her, wrapping her arms around her as Ashlyn leaned against her, enjoying her embrace.

**. . .**

A sneeze made Ashlyn wake up from her nap, as she had dozed off in the car, while Ali drove her around Washington DC. She was on her third day of prosthesis trial, and it had been a week and a half since the had landed a jet into a Floridian Lake. Now, she was wearing her best attire, her navy blue uniform with her decorations, trousers given her amputee circumstances, and she was on her way to her hearing with the Air Force court, while nursing her second cold that week, thanks to the cold waters she had been in and the coldness of DC.

“Bless you,” Ali smiled at her, used by now to her constant sneezing.

“Thanks,” Ashlyn squeezed her hand. “You're the best, driving me here and all.”

“Anything for you. You'll be okay, right? You'll give them a piece of—,”

“Easy,” Ashlyn leaned over the console, amused, and kissed her cheek. “I'll give them hell and then come back to you and make love to you while you tell me all about tomorrow's camp.” Ali blushed hard.

“Sounds like my kind of plan.”

Ashlyn went into the hearing tense and nervous, but with her ideas clear in her head. She was using her crutches to avoid putting too much weight on her foot, but the prosthesis already gave her a ton of extra freedom that helped her feel better with the situation. The General of the Air Force himself would be inquiring not just in the matters regarding her first crash, but also the last one with Curtis. Everything she had ever done would be pocked and inquired about, and Ali could not be present with her, because civilians weren't allowed.

First, the tribunal exposed some flying simulations that showed she apparently should've seen the other airship in Philippines and avoided it successfully, then, they went on about how Ashlyn may have been wanting to kill herself due to 'complicated home circumstances', and finally, they continued using the almost crash with the jet just days prior to further 'prove' she had no regards for her life.

“Anything to say for yourself, Captain Harris?” inquired the General of the Air Force after two hours of accusations.

“As a matter of fact, yes, Sir, a lot,” said Ashlyn trying hard not to snap. “First of all, it is very easy to do things in a simulation. They simulate reality based on data you input, mathematical calculations and probability, but it's pure machinery, Sir. If we still have real people to pilot most airships and not machines, it's precisely because machines lack the human factor that can be so determinant in a flight. When you did this simulation, the pilot knew exactly what they were supposed to do and what was going to happen from the start. She expected the other airship from the start, she piloted from the very first moment as if the entire time she had permission to attack back and knew where, when and how the other fighter would attack. So of course your pilot reacted quickly, accurately, and was able to save herself. But let's not forget I wasn't so lucky. I didn't have a warning. I didn't know what was coming. I didn't have permission to attack from the start. I was surprised and had to improvise, and that was unavoidable and something your simulator didn't reflect. If you tell your pilot not to react to attack until thirty seconds after communicating the situation, which is when I approximately received the thumbs up, then I'm sure she will not have time to do things so flawlessly. I'm sure she'll actually crash, just like I did. So go ahead, try that, and then accuse me if you want.”

The General scowled, but nodded.

“All right let's add thirty seconds,” he told the simulator's pilot, with whom they communicated through a big screen.

“Yes Sir!”

As Ashlyn had predicted, when the pilot had to wait to react she didn't have time to avoid the collision, and the result replicated the one Ashlyn had lived on her own skin.

“I told you so,” said Ashlyn then. “But let's not stop here, shall we? Because will all due respect, this tribunal has been playing as if any of you know anything about me or my personal life to accuse me of something as grave as using Air Force ships to try and commit suicide, with disregard to the cost of our equipment or other human lives. And you're wrong. My Air Force therapist Doctor Scarlet has already provided you with a profound professional opinion on me in which she clarifies I was not suicidal at the moment of this crash, and I can assure you there wasn't or isn't any personal situation at home that would make me want to kill myself. Back in the Philippines I was a happy person, not suicidal. I had my two feet, my loving family, and a bunch of friends. Yes, my father was a criminal and my brother was in prison, but I did not care at all about the first one and I still had a close relationship with the second one who, as a matter of fact, will be released soon enough. And as for the rough landing the other day... I did what I had to do to end the threat. I've known Curtis Harris for decades, I bear his surname, I know what he is capable of better than any of you, and you'd have to be absolutely mad in the head to think I'd willingly go and kill myself just to take him down with me. I have someone waiting for me at home. Someone who loves me, someone to fight for. I just got a new chance at life after surviving a crash with all the odds against me, if you think I'm going to risk all the good I had for nothing... you're very wrong. I only did what I did because one, there was no other way, and two, my first duty is to my country. I did not feel any love for Curtis, not even remotely, and I was not willing to let him kill anyone, let alone children. And if on the process I had no other option but to put my life on the line... well, that's the job, isn't it? But you know this is not a job we do because we don't care about our lives. We do it because we know this world needs some heroes who are willing to sacrifice themselves for someone else. I could never live with myself if I let someone like Curtis go just because of cowardice... I didn't enter the Air Force for that. It's not what Colonel James Habovick, my grandfather, taught me about this job. So I will not apologize. I did what this country expected of me and the idea that you dare to judge me for saving lives, just months after you wanted to decorate me... it's disgusting. That's all I have to say to you now.”

Ashlyn sat while the tribunal murmured and decided what to do with her, but she found she didn't care so much. She looked down at her hands, almost able to feel Ali's between them, and almost smiled. She had something better to look forward.


	22. You and me

**Chapter 22: You and me.**

Ashlyn grabbed a taxi back to the house Ali's father lived in, and where Ali and herself were currently staying. Kenneth Krieger was a nice guy, and he had treated Ashlyn so warmly and with so much respect in the couple of days they had been there, that she felt he was pretty much like family, just like she felt towards Ali's other relatives.

She carefully walked towards the house through the big front garden, supporting herself on the crutches and her prosthesis at once, then on her foot, until she reached the white door and pressed a long finger against the doorbell. The house was big and beautiful and it was easy to presume Kenneth made good money. After hearing trotting for a moment, the door opened and Ali appeared.

“Hi!” Ali looked questioningly at her, trying to read her face. “So? What happened?”

“I gave them a piece of my mind after all,” Ashlyn shrugged.

“Oh my... did they fire you?”

“No,” Ashlyn smiled. “No, it's all right. I proved my version of the stories, they had to admit I did my best on both occasions, that I'm a fit pilot mentally... they don't have to take any measures against me and I will be decorated even a little more after ending Curtis. I spoke with the President herself and the ceremony will be the day after tomorrow, she has to hurry things up before Christmas antics.”

Ali grinned and pulled her into her arms with a squeal.

“I knew it! I'm so proud of you,” Ali pressed their lips together. “My Heroine.” Ashlyn couldn't help the smug smile that appeared in her lips.

“I performed my best only because you were in my mind.”

“Aw,” Ali pulled her into the house, closing the door behind her. “So are you reconciled with the idea of being decorated?”

“You know what? After the trouble they've caused me and the anxiety they've given me, they better give me every fucking decoration in the books. I want it all, every bit of gold!”

Ali laughed and let Ashlyn kiss her again.

“Come in, we have to put up the tree.”

“Oh, I don't think I've done that... ever,” Ashlyn commented, surprising herself.

“You're kidding.”

“No, I was never home in time to put up the tree,” Ashlyn explained as they walked into the living room, where a series of boxes were already waiting. “And we didn't have one when I was little. So how does this work?”

“Oh my,” Ali shook her head. “Okay, we're fixing this. You put the tree out, it's basically the metal bar that is the trunk and then you've got to put the branches and open them so all the leaves stretch properly.”

“I thought your Dad would get a real one,” Ashlyn commented as she did as she was told and Ali organized the ornaments.

“We used to, but then we became environmental-friendly,” Ali shrugged. “We didn't want to kill trees anymore. And this is cool because you don't get sand and leaves all over the place, nor ants. We had an ants invasion one year that was the worst...”

Ashlyn smiled at her, content with the domesticity of the moment as she sat on the sofa to put up the tree. It took them a few minutes, but after almost half an hour the tree was almost finished.

“This is looking beautiful love,” Ashlyn complimented, adjusting the lights.

“Just one last thing,” Ali grabbed one tiny bag that was left and pulled out a box from where she pulled a silver shark ornament, that she showed Ashlyn with a beaming expression. “You like it? I had it made for you.”

The captain was quite touched and surprised, and she took the ornament in her hands, turning it around to read what had been engraved behind. _Shark Captain Ashlyn M. Harris_.

“Ali,” Ashlyn smiled. “I love this. Thank you.”

“Put it right here, with mine,” Ali pointed at an ornament of an 'A' that had been made in her own honour decades before. Ashlyn chuckled and hung hers next. “There. As it should be.”

“I have no words,” Ashlyn hugged her from behind so they could admire the tree together. “I'm just still waiting to wake-up and find this was all a dream.”

“Reality is always better than fiction,” Ali pressed her lips against hers. “Soon we'll have our own house in Tampa, and we'll both be at jobs we love, figuring out life together... it'll be cool.”

“We'll have each other's lives, as always,” Ashlyn nodded, excited. “Go on double dates with our friends... celebrate our first Valentine's Day in our new house...”

Ali grinned at her, happy.

“Isn't it incredible, though? When we met, you were saving my ass from some terrorists... and now, you're about to come live with me and I'll never let you go. You can't run away now, you shouldn't have rescued me.” She joked around, making Ashlyn giggle.

“I'll take the risk, 'cause I'd do it all over again,” Ashlyn kissed her cheek. “You're my peace in every single war. I could never want anything else.”

“Let's go get you fat, pretty girl,” Ali patted her stomach gently. “And then I'm going to rip that cute uniform off you.”

“Yes ma'am!”

A couple days later, when Ashlyn's decoration ceremony came, presided by the President no less because of the meritorious services, not just during her now terminated active combat duty career, but also in times of trouble flying that jet, her family and friends made sure to be present. Even Chris had gotten a permission to be home for Christmas, since he had good conduct and he was getting released soon anyway, and they all came to DC for the moment, that had a heavy presence of journalists.

Ali couldn't help beaming proudly as she saw the President put the decorations on Ashlyn's chest and then thank her for her years of service and military career. Normally, the awarded didn't make any sort of speech, but also normally decorations were given by groups and not by the President, so it was clear this was a peculiar occasion, and the President motioned for Ashlyn to give a few words. Ashlyn hadn't really prepared anything, not knowing she'd be required to speak, but when she looked at Ali, her nerves passed.

“Hi uhm, I'm Ashlyn. And that's the truth. I'm not Wonderwoman or anything... and I didn't even understand why military people get decorations when we're basically doing our job. We're not civilians who one day do something extraordinary. We're trained to do something extraordinary. I guess we all just need someone who steps up and does something extraordinary now and then, and I've learned to see these medals as the way my country tries to say thank you for being that person when we needed you to be. But aside from those extraordinary moments, I'm just Ashlyn, as mortal and human as any of you. And that means something beautiful,” Ashlyn shrugged timidly. “Doesn't it mean then everyone can step up and do something extraordinary when necessary? I'd like to think so. I've learned to see that we all carry that something inside, a sense of what's right, of self-sacrifice, of knowing there are things bigger than ourselves that are worth fighting for. For me... it was never about the country, really. As patriotic as we may be, I don't think that's ever enough to push you hard enough. I know I wasn't thinking of my country when I did all of these things I get awards for. I joined the Air Force when I was just barely old enough because it seemed like an honourable way of getting access to an education without having money, because I wanted to do better for myself and for my family, and because I come from an Air Force family that always taught me to see planes in a fascinating way. But I remained because I met so many amazing people along the way that I never wanted to abandon. I didn't want to leave Chad, Aimara, Zahara, Tarla, Efren, Rodrigo and so, so many others behind. I don't even know what happened to those kids while I was back in American soil fighting for my own life,” Ashlyn bit her lip slightly, preventing herself from getting emotional as she took a moment. “However, I hope they learned, like I did, to feel safe when a plane came up. To see those gigantic beasts not as enemies, but as the possibility of help. And I know I've left enough Air Force brothers and sisters behind to look after them properly. I know there always comes a time for goodbyes, but while I was there, I can tell you that I never met anyone who didn't have that something special. I know there wasn't one kid who wouldn't step up and do something extraordinary when needed. Not because of their country, or even money... they did it because there were friends and family who needed them. And at last, it's the same reason why I've always done everything. When my fighter crashed, I was thinking of a picnic at the beach with the woman I love,” she smiled small at Ali, who smiled back. “And when I landed a jet on a lake in Orlando, I thought of my mother, and I asked her to let me live. Thing is, being in the military makes you do all sorts of crazy stuff, and take lives and all... but we couldn't do anything truly big if it wasn't for the people we meet in the way. For my grandparents, my brother, even my parents, for the rest of my big and beautiful family... and for Pinoe, Abby, Tobs, Christen, my Alexandra... and so many others. You guys make everything entirely worthwhile. You guys don't just carry a handful of special stuff inside, but are capable of pushing people like me to find it in themselves to do something special. So now, it's time to say goodbye to deployments and war... because I think there's no better way to say thank you and be grateful for second and third chances at life than being home to live it. So Colonel Weaton, Mrs President...” Ashlyn nodded in their direction. “Thank you. It's been... a ride.”

Later in the day, Ashlyn walked without crutches, experimentally using only her stump, through the beach in Washington, with friends and family strolling around as well, when Ali ran to her and held onto her hand, beaming right at her. Ashlyn grinned back, as the sun started to dive into the ocean. The brunette motioned for her to look at the sunset, and they stood there, holding hands and staring into the distance.

“We're getting good at this watching the ocean thingy,” Ali commented, leaning against her shoulder. Ashlyn kissed the top of her head.

“What can I say...” Ashlyn wrapped an arm around her, looking into the vast blue. “I really love staring at things with you.”

Ali looked up at her, really happy to be with Ashlyn.

“Is it crazy to think we were meant to be? Because... as fast as we go and all... I don't feel hurried. I feel like... we're exactly where we're supposed to be.”

“We are absolutely meant to be,” Ashlyn agreed. “We should've known when we met in the soccer field... but now there's nothing that could possibly separate us.”

“That's good to hear!”

“Yeah?” Ashlyn chuckled at her.

“Yeah, 'cause... I think I want to stick with you forever. Perhaps even get a dog together.”

“Oh, I'd love that. Let's just do this crazy life thing together forever,” Ashlyn proposed, leaning for a kiss. Ali nodded, grinning at her, and as they kissed, the night came into Washington DC.

But for them, it felt like they had all the light and warmth they could possibly need.

_The End._

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember Fanfic Authors are often unappreciated. Yes, we don't write best sellers, we write for love and we write for free, when we have time, through studies, jobs, life... we write because we love writing, but we CHOOSE to share what we write with you, so the least you can do is show your writers your appreciation. As you can see I spent a whole year writing without necessarily publishing, because like many others, I don't NEED to publish. I do it hoping it'll bring other people the joy it brings me to read and write. But it's up to you to keep updates going, and not make us feel like we might as well keep the work to ourselves. Thank you!


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